View Full Version : I really need some good advice.
Okay well, I'm in a decently serious relationship for the first time ever. I'm 18, dating a 17 year old. I fell for her, and never felt this way before. She cleaned me up, My life used to consist of a lot of pot smoking, and she taught me that there are more ways to have fun. She was right, so I quit. One time she decided she wanted to try it, so we did. Since then, she was at a hockey tournament 3 hrs away with her friend, and they went to a random dorm with an opposing hockey team, and got high. I didn't find this out from her, she basically lied about it to me, to my face, told me she didnt, then i found out from MYSPACE haha. I don't want to control her, but I don't want her to do it, she knows it would hurt me, but she explained she likes it, and wants to do it. This thought made me sick to my stomach, since i quit for her, and was ridiculed by her parents to be a bad influence? Even though I told her i didnt want her to do it, but yet they say im the reason she is rebelious, bc im in a fucking band. Pathetic, I know. But although I showed my concern, about how my life used to be futureless, now she looks to be wanting to do something that ruined my life. What could I do to explain to her, and if possible prohibit this from happening? Thanks everyone for your input... I just don't want to see this happen to someone I truly love, bc it happens all around me, living in Urban Cleveland.
lightcollapse
12/01/05, 06:28 PM
Okay well, I'm in a decently serious relationship for the first time ever. I'm 18, dating a 17 year old. I fell for her, and never felt this way before. She cleaned me up, My life used to consist of a lot of pot smoking, and she taught me that there are more ways to have fun. She was right, so I quit. One time she decided she wanted to try it, so we did. Since then, she was at a hockey tournament 3 hrs away with her friend, and they went to a random dorm with an opposing hockey team, and got high. I didn't find this out from her, she basically lied about it to me, to my face, told me she didnt, then i found out from MYSPACE haha. I don't want to control her, but I don't want her to do it, she knows it would hurt me, but she explained she likes it, and wants to do it. This thought made me sick to my stomach, since i quit for her, and was ridiculed by her parents to be a bad influence? Even though I told her i didnt want her to do it, but yet they say im the reason she is rebelious, bc im in a fucking band. Pathetic, I know. But although I showed my concern, about how my life used to be futureless, now she looks to be wanting to do something that ruined my life. What could I do to explain to her, and if possible prohibit this from happening? Thanks everyone for your input... I just don't want to see this happen to someone I truly love, bc it happens all around me, living in Urban Cleveland.
...tell her what the fuck is she thinking?
I hate how people steriotype and judge people these days. I guess the best thing you could do is sit her down and explain to her how you stopped just for her. Explain to her what it would mean to you and the consequences it has. Thats All I can think of though, hope it helps. If nothing works I guess you should leave her and if she comes back to you or quits after that then maybe you should take her back, if not it wasnt ment to be.
Hey Mr. Destiny
12/01/05, 06:34 PM
In all honesty I have nothing constructive to add to this. However, I would like to thank you for helping me solve a mystery that has plagued me for years. In the old theme song to the Drew Carey Show (before the "Cleveland Rocks" era), the first line began with "Moon over Parma..." and now, now I FINALLY understand it. Thank you.
JHallow
12/01/05, 06:39 PM
basically tell her what she told you to quit. lying in relationships is not cool. if she lied to your face thats even worse.
lightcollapse
12/01/05, 06:44 PM
basically tell her what she told you to quit. lying in relationships is not cool. if she lied to your face thats even worse.
for her, it sounds like it could be possible that drugs> you.
while for you, its an easy her>>>>>>>>>>drugs.
cuetheflames
12/01/05, 07:22 PM
yeah thats pretty gay. if she wants to do it i guess thats cool as long as she lets you do it whenever you want and not get mad.
i would just be mad at the hockey team part. why cant she smoke with her girl friends. that pisses me off when girls go and hang out with other guys. i know its jealous and stupid but i can help it, i get sooo mad.
apoemtothedead
12/01/05, 07:58 PM
Is this the end of your so-called life?
lovesongssuck
12/01/05, 11:48 PM
You should tell her everything you've written here and explain how important she is too you. I've learned that you shouldn't change who you are for someone else. I stopped smoking for my ex and then just resented him for it.
theESCO
12/02/05, 04:33 AM
At least its not crack..
theESCO
12/02/05, 04:54 AM
Seriously though, if your letting something like this get this far under your skin..Your relationship won't last. I'm guessing from the fact that her parents played the "bad influence" card that she's led a fairly sheltered life. Now she's getting to an age where she wants to go out and try new things, just because you did them and tell her how bad they are doesn't mean she doesn't need to find out for herself. And telling her otherwise puts you on the same level as her parents.
Let her know how you feel, but make it clear that its her choice and you'll support her either way. Then grin and bear it until she learns the lessons for herself. If you can't get through this, just think how much of a headache you'll have when she wants to go out drinking with the girls in a few years.
Seriously though, if your letting something like this get this far under your skin..Your relationship won't last. I'm guessing from the fact that her parents played the "bad influence" card that she's led a fairly sheltered life. Now she's getting to an age where she wants to go out and try new things, just because you did them and tell her how bad they are doesn't mean she doesn't need to find out for herself. And telling her otherwise puts you on the same level as her parents.
Let her know how you feel, but make it clear that its her choice and you'll support her either way. Then grin and bear it until she learns the lessons for herself. If you can't get through this, just think how much of a headache you'll have when she wants to go out drinking with the girls in a few years.
I completely agree. She needs to live her own life, and every teenager goes through an experimental period of some kind. Let her know how you feel, if she cares about you as much as you care about her I'm sure she'll be willing to compromise.
save_me
12/02/05, 02:26 PM
it sucks when you find out shit like that over the internet...that sucks.
smoke with her then.
Melissa Johnson
12/02/05, 05:31 PM
it sucks when you find out shit like that over the internet...that sucks.
smoke with her then.
..Because that's the answer to everything. He quit and it seems by what he wrote that he doesn't want to go down that path again.
You're not allowed to give advice. Ever.
Go fix your fake problems before you even attempt to help anyone with theirs.
ghostyouare
12/02/05, 05:58 PM
Get some flower (tell her it's coke), and have her watch you snort it.
Tuesday's Gone
12/03/05, 09:54 AM
yeah bro everybody is saying it well ....... dont ever ever let your self down that road in life again man an i know u really like her, but man thier are so many cool people out thier that if she dosent stop than you need to let go!!
gillianhsieh
12/03/05, 10:47 PM
yeah, dude if there is something going wrong and she is being a douche, then BAIL OUT. that's not so cool when you're like 50 years old but you're 18 and you're probably not going to be w/ her forever anyway. i mean i used to make all sorts of little mental excuses for my ex boyfriend, but what is the point, we all know how it ends. you might as well stop wasting your time with her and find someone who you can trust vs a person who you would desperately love to be with but you know in the end it won't work.
I am all talk
12/03/05, 11:49 PM
since when do they let bitches play sports?
Dead_Princess
12/04/05, 08:59 PM
here's some good advice...
WRITE SHORTER POSTS
Or atleast add pictures :D
Being a gamer my attention span IS NOT THAT BIG... unless it ivolves explosions... or guns... or zombies...
infamous_alias
12/04/05, 09:28 PM
here's some good advice...
WRITE SHORTER POSTS
Or atleast add pictures :D
Being a gamer my attention span IS NOT THAT BIG... unless it ivolves explosions... or guns... or zombies...
Someone's a badass...
Dead_Princess
12/04/05, 09:45 PM
Someone's a badass... Nope... just ammused easily.. hehe... badger badger badger...
Lueda Alia
12/04/05, 09:50 PM
Ask her this: "How did it make you feel when I used to do that?"
Dead_Princess
12/04/05, 10:06 PM
Did what? Sorry... I wasn't paying attention... :boldred:
lightcollapse
12/04/05, 10:57 PM
Did what? Sorry... I wasn't paying attention... :boldred:
...you're 13.
Dead_Princess
12/04/05, 11:18 PM
...you're 13.
Wow... thank's captain obvious... 14 in 2 months :D
It's not my fault I have a short attention span... BLAME IT ON THE AMISH AND THEY'RE TELEVISION!
infamous_alias
12/04/05, 11:39 PM
Wow... thank's captain obvious... 14 in 2 months :D
It's not my fault I have a short attention span... BLAME IT ON THE AMISH AND THEY'RE TELEVISION!
It's seriously past your bedtime.
Dead_Princess
12/05/05, 01:17 AM
It's seriously past your bedtime.
Pfft! No way!
-DRINK CAFFEINE- YOU CAN SLEEP WHEN YOU'RE DEAD.
here's some good advice...
WRITE SHORTER POSTS
Or atleast add pictures :D
Being a gamer my attention span IS NOT THAT BIG... unless it ivolves explosions... or guns... or zombies...So don't read it. Not like anyone wants your advice anyway.
ive recently learned a lesson, youve gotta let ppl make their own mistakes, if you try and stop them, they just hate you for it, they think you want them to miss out on their life..it is frustratin but its human nature to experiment.
himynameisjohn
12/05/05, 10:35 AM
ask her to stop for you, if she doesnt, leave her. Theres better people out there.
youll be crushed for a while...but trust me youl get over it.
thedood
12/05/05, 12:07 PM
Pot is a bigger deal in the US than Canada....but anyways just tell her not to go to random fucking dorms and stop being a hypocrite. She asked you to do some shit that you didnt want to do at the time and you did it. Its called respect and compromise, and its something a lot of 17 year olds cant offer in a relatoinship
wyverna
12/05/05, 12:16 PM
...you're 13.
That's not the answer to everything. Some people are just dumb, and there are plenty of non stupid 13/14 year olds out there.
mrgus404
12/05/05, 06:54 PM
You should do hard drugs just to spite her. Another idea I have to secretly inject with heroine intravenously every single night while she's sleeping. That way, she'll be cold turkey when you stop and she won't know what the fuck is going on. Either that, or knock her ass out with a candlestick.
P.S. Blame it on Professor Plum in the Study.
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