Poem - Heartbroken.

[Kalvsylta]

This is some kind of poem i wrote,
just to reflect my state mind right now. : )

I know I'm no good poem writer, but it's just something I had to write.

Like flowers they grew together,
looking beautiful against the sky.
Always just as refreshing... like a cold winter wind they were.
The ones never to be seperated, only loved.

The stars are shining in the sky, really bright.
Almost too bright...
It's cold outside, even the flowers are seeking cover.
Hiding and waiting for the summer.
They long for it, to grow again.

"I don't think I love you as much as I did before."
The words spoken, destroying mankind and ripping the gods from the sky.
This is not supposed to happen, it's not.
Why would something so beautiful be destroyed?
It's not like it's supposed to be?
The flowers do not care, they still hide... everyone does.
The wind is still cold, noone cares... not even I.
"It's over."

The flowers does not seem to grow again.
What can I do?
Nothing.

[npmshah]

This is actually really good...
you do have some flow issues at times, and the grammer could definetely be bettew (Flowers does not... is not good.. change to Flowers do not)
try fixing meters, removing/adding syllables where need be
overall, its really good and i totally loved the overall theme

[Kalvsylta]

Thank you.

English is not my native language actually as I live in sweden.
Now when you point out the mistake with Does, i see the mistake!

I was not thinking about flow when i wrote it, just, you know out with it kind of.

[thespearkid]

You're using a ton of really cliche images here.

-The stars are shining bright.
-Winter/summer comparisons
-Beautiful flowers

Also, you say the flowers were refreshing like a cold winter wind, giving winter a positive connotation and then later, you give winter a negative feel. It really makes it unclear what you're trying to say. Another thing is the lack of flow. If the poem had enough substance to warrant its lack of structure (or if the lack of structure served a purpose of any kind) it would be excusable but it just comes off as if you were too lazy to add any sort of structure.