tormented lust's Blog http://www.absolutepunk.net/blogs.php?u=397941 tormented lust's latest blog entries. en AbsolutePunk.net Blogs http://images.absolutepunk.net/images/misc/rss.jpg tormented lust's Blog http://www.absolutepunk.net/blogs.php?u=397941 more today than yesterday http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=278932 Mon, 17 May 2010 16:24:39 GMT saturday was my birthday!!! im officially 18! hell yeah! i can buy cigs nd other stuff i culdnt buy when i was 17 lolz. idk wut else to say so ill just continue with my day. i need food tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=278932 FML http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=277842 Tue, 11 May 2010 16:09:06 GMT [SIZE=3]im so done. i thought life wuz good. fuck that. im so sick ov it all.[/SIZE] im so done. i thought life wuz good. fuck that. im so sick ov it all. ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=277842 feelin good http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=276572 Tue, 04 May 2010 16:09:05 GMT [SIZE=2][COLOR=magenta]im not sure what to say, so i guess ima just do a random rant about things in my life.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [INDENT][SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]well lets start with the new man in my life. i had recently decided to remain single till AFTER i got out of bootcamp for the airforce. BUUUUT here comes jesse, and im head over hills again... idk how he did it, but he tore down the brick wall around my heart.[/COLOR] [/SIZE][/INDENT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=darkorange]i want to be scared and wry about what comes next, but my heart isnt letting me. is this wierd? he wants me to move in with him this summer, but my parents want me to spend my last summer at home. so idk wut to do about that.[/COLOR][/SIZE][INDENT][SIZE=2][COLOR=deepskyblue]i cant ait untill september, thats when ill be leaving for bootcamp. the airforce is a great basis for my life, and im hoping im very successfull in this field. i hope i get assigned as a mental health psychiatrist, because i know i could easily excell in this field of study.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/INDENT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=seagreen]my birthday is in 11 days!!!! finally ill be 18!!!!! sweet!!! lol. im gonna buy a scratch off, pack of cigarettes, a porno, and go to a club just because i can. HELL YEA!!! my boyfriend is taking me shopping on my b-day also, and he said that hes giving me a $200 gift card for abercrombie... hmmm... not rlly my style, but hey, free clothes! lolz.[/COLOR][/SIZE][INDENT][SIZE=2][COLOR=red]i think im in a good spot in my life at the moment.; not much is going wrong, and im happier than ive been in a rlly long time. i hope this feeling lasts a while. cuz im tired of being depressed. it sux! lol[/COLOR][/SIZE][/INDENT] [SIZE=2][COLOR=darkorchid]well i guess ive ranted long enough. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=darkorchid]love you!!!![/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=darkorchid]Katie[/COLOR][/SIZE] im not sure what to say, so i guess ima just do a random rant about things in my life.
well lets start with the new man in my life. i had recently decided to remain single till AFTER i got out of bootcamp for the airforce. BUUUUT here comes jesse, and im head over hills again... idk how he did it, but he tore down the brick wall around my heart.
i want to be scared and wry about what comes next, but my heart isnt letting me. is this wierd? he wants me to move in with him this summer, but my parents want me to spend my last summer at home. so idk wut to do about that.
i cant ait untill september, thats when ill be leaving for bootcamp. the airforce is a great basis for my life, and im hoping im very successfull in this field. i hope i get assigned as a mental health psychiatrist, because i know i could easily excell in this field of study.
my birthday is in 11 days!!!! finally ill be 18!!!!! sweet!!! lol. im gonna buy a scratch off, pack of cigarettes, a porno, and go to a club just because i can. HELL YEA!!! my boyfriend is taking me shopping on my b-day also, and he said that hes giving me a $200 gift card for abercrombie... hmmm... not rlly my style, but hey, free clothes! lolz.
i think im in a good spot in my life at the moment.; not much is going wrong, and im happier than ive been in a rlly long time. i hope this feeling lasts a while. cuz im tired of being depressed. it sux! lol
well i guess ive ranted long enough.
love you!!!!
Katie ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=276572 inevitable http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=276292 Mon, 03 May 2010 16:24:32 GMT [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i am different[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]try not to deny me this right[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i dwell in the darkness[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]do not label me[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]dont even try[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]im not what you think [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]yesterday i cried[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]today the mask emerges[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]tomorrow belittles me[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i try to keep my composure[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i deny the inevitable[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i conquor my fears[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]i want to believe[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]that things will change[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=green]just tell me what to do[/COLOR][/SIZE] i am different
try not to deny me this right
i dwell in the darkness

do not label me
dont even try
im not what you think

yesterday i cried
today the mask emerges
tomorrow belittles me

i try to keep my composure
i deny the inevitable
i conquor my fears

i want to believe
that things will change
just tell me what to do ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=276292 September http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=274492 Tue, 27 Apr 2010 15:59:06 GMT [INDENT][SIZE=2]just another day[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]lost in limbo[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]a constant reminder im still alive[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]ive been happier [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]ive been worse[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]now im just... here[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]i used to believe in love[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]i used to believe in hope[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]i used to believe[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]september awaits[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]with welcoming arms[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]taunting me with its presence[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]can i wait for its embrace[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]am i strong enough[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]is there a way?[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]fake a smile[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]force a laugh[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]continue towards tomorow[/SIZE] [/INDENT] [INDENT][SIZE=2]looks like i have no other choice[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]i will continue [/SIZE] [SIZE=2]i will let myself go to limbos act[/SIZE] [/INDENT] just another day
lost in limbo
a constant reminder im still alive
ive been happier
ive been worse
now im just... here
i used to believe in love
i used to believe in hope
i used to believe
september awaits
with welcoming arms
taunting me with its presence
can i wait for its embrace
am i strong enough
is there a way?
fake a smile
force a laugh
continue towards tomorow
looks like i have no other choice
i will continue
i will let myself go to limbos act
]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=274492 hmm... http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=249801 Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:29:01 GMT [SIZE=2]it has been a really long time since i've blogged... i'm constantly on looking at bands and new music, but i always forget to post a blog... i've been halfway decent lately... still waiting for september to arrive... it's so far away!!! i can't wait :)[/SIZE] it has been a really long time since i've blogged... i'm constantly on looking at bands and new music, but i always forget to post a blog... i've been halfway decent lately... still waiting for september to arrive... it's so far away!!! i can't wait :) ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=249801 webs of tomorow http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=238092 Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:11:17 GMT [SIZE=2]the future awaits[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]chalk lines on the sidewalk[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]easily washed away[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]blue, pink, and black[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]green, oarnge, and purple[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]all the different colors for tomorrow[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]a spider web in the corner of your room[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]spun in but a few minutes[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]now wait for an innocent being become the next meal[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]lace corpses lie six feet under[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]remember their lives[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]what did they do[/SIZE] [SIZE=2][/SIZE] [SIZE=2]obtain a respect for today[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]for tomorrow is never promised[/SIZE] [SIZE=2]appreciate the life you are given[/SIZE] the future awaits
chalk lines on the sidewalk
easily washed away

blue, pink, and black
green, oarnge, and purple
all the different colors for tomorrow

a spider web in the corner of your room
spun in but a few minutes
now wait for an innocent being become the next meal

lace corpses lie six feet under
remember their lives
what did they do

obtain a respect for today
for tomorrow is never promised
appreciate the life you are given ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=238092 ??? http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=237202 Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:06:32 GMT my best friend kissed me yesterday... she rlly caught me off guard... i've never made out with a girl before... well... i take that back... i've never made out with a girl sober... but i did yesterday... it's kinda wierd... i much rather prefer guyz tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=237202 never hurt me http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=234772 Thu, 29 Oct 2009 16:12:54 GMT i let your smile caress my heart i want your kiss to be with me forever i trust your eyes when you say you love me i'm scared for whats coming next i've fallen before it hurt so much would you ever do that to me hurt me to no return let me be decieved? i want to give my heart another chance to love the chance to live life again the will to start anew i'm wanting to start again to do things right give you the chance to be my love so here i am arms awaiting heart open to only you please don't hurt me treat me the way i know i should for i will never hurt you i want your kiss to be with me forever
i trust your eyes when you say you love me

i'm scared for whats coming next
i've fallen before
it hurt so much

would you ever do that to me
hurt me to no return
let me be decieved?

i want to give my heart another chance to love
the chance to live life again
the will to start anew

i'm wanting to start again
to do things right
give you the chance to be my love

so here i am
arms awaiting
heart open to only you

please don't hurt me
treat me the way i know i should
for i will never hurt you ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=234772 this circle never ends http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=233261 Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:53:36 GMT marine men treat air force girls with so much respect... i think i'm falling again... but this time i'm ready... this feels different... he treats me right... we have so much in common... he makes me want to be a better person... i just don't want to get hurt again... ah fuck it... i'm ready to try again... for real this time... i'm gonna do things right this time :) tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=233261 mask http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=232781 Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:52:08 GMT i just don't care nemore... i wuz getting better... the mask becoming a brick wall hiding my pain within... no1 knew the pain i was still withholding... whats the point anymore? no1 cares, friends = liers... just fuck it all... heres me, no mask, no lies... i honestly could give a shit less anymore... tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=232781 the conversation http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=230412 Tue, 06 Oct 2009 16:32:27 GMT him: i never knew exactly what to do when it wouldn't last forever your silence said everything i could ever need to remember but what did you decide upon now i composed a little luliby somehow i never know what to say to show you the way to bed your wrestling in the dark with all the things you said but i don't know what to make of you when you say it in my ear... "BOO" me: 'The Pain Of Departure' baby... i love you so much but this is for the best the pain of departure will hurt so much more the future is uncertain but one thing is for sure i don't want to hear the pain in your voice long night's of 'I Love You's' short days when we're together time went by so fast but... it will just hurt so much more if we delay this much longer so far away... yet so near to my heart i feel your grasp upon my soul i don't want to let this go however this fantasy must turn into a reality him: you say i'm a habit that's why we depart you say i'm a good person i have a bad heart it's man-made no it's real it's hidden in the shade the only thing i feel you say you couldn't live without me well... i couldn't love you anymore me: "Learn To Hate Me" your sweet melody gently lulls to pleasant dreams of you and me lying in a perfect world sweet birds singing no pain welcomed please... just learn to hate me me: I'm sorry him: sal' good him: so... you've made your decision me: ... I think so... him: ... what is it?... me: ... i'm so sorry... i love you so much... but it's for the best... him: ok... does that still mean we can be friends?... me: that's what i would really like... i can't lose you... I love You...
i never knew exactly what to do
when it wouldn't last forever
your silence said everything
i could ever need to remember
but what did you decide upon now
i composed a little luliby somehow
i never know what to say
to show you the way to bed
your wrestling in the dark
with all the things you said
but i don't know what to make of you
when you say it in my ear...
"BOO"

me:

'The Pain Of Departure'

baby... i love you so much
but this is for the best
the pain of departure will hurt so much more
the future is uncertain
but one thing is for sure
i don't want to hear the pain in your voice
long night's of 'I Love You's'
short days when we're together
time went by so fast
but...
it will just hurt so much more
if we delay this much longer
so far away...
yet so near to my heart
i feel your grasp upon my soul
i don't want to let this go
however this fantasy
must turn into a reality

him:

you say i'm a habit
that's why we depart
you say i'm a good person
i have a bad heart
it's man-made
no it's real
it's hidden in the shade
the only thing i feel
you say you couldn't live without me
well...
i couldn't love you anymore

me:

"Learn To Hate Me"

your sweet melody gently lulls
to pleasant dreams
of you and me
lying in a perfect world
sweet birds singing
no pain welcomed
please...
just learn to hate me

me:

I'm sorry

him:

sal' good

him:

so... you've made your decision

me:

... I think so...

him:

... what is it?...

me:

... i'm so sorry... i love you so much... but it's for the best...

him:

ok... does that still mean we can be friends?...

me:

that's what i would really like... i can't lose you... I love You... ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=230412 ... why?... http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=223972 Thu, 10 Sep 2009 16:33:02 GMT ... he's with her... we just ended things... he said he waas so in love with me... he could never love another... less than a week... right in front of me... hands entangled... why? tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=223972 my last tear http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=223012 Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:26:18 GMT [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]a surrender to your soliloque[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]the chance to start anew[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]i can't understand this side of you[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]your laughter reminds me of a better tommorrow[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]the first star in the dark night sky[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]filling a hollow place where i used to cry[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]the birds lulliby[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]i can finally hear[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]gratefully i sweep away my last tear[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]appreciation for the roses first bloom[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]time to turn the page for something new[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]is it possible that this could be true?[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]it's five in the morning[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]you tell me to sleep[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]but if i do... i'll awake in a weep[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo][/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]the moons glow calls to me[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=2][COLOR=indigo]a reminder that your still there[/COLOR][/SIZE] [COLOR=indigo][SIZE=2]am i foolish enough to believe that you might care[/SIZE]?[/COLOR] a surrender to your soliloque
the chance to start anew
i can't understand this side of you

your laughter reminds me of a better tommorrow
the first star in the dark night sky
filling a hollow place where i used to cry

the birds lulliby
i can finally hear
gratefully i sweep away my last tear

appreciation for the roses first bloom
time to turn the page for something new
is it possible that this could be true?

it's five in the morning
you tell me to sleep
but if i do... i'll awake in a weep

the moons glow calls to me
a reminder that your still there
am i foolish enough to believe that you might care? ]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=223012 dark fantasies http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=222992 Tue, 08 Sep 2009 16:18:51 GMT [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]it's like i've woken [/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]arose from my slumber[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]awaken to confusion[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]i swore to myself[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]never again[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]i wouldn't allow it[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]is this but a dream?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]another one of my dark fantasies?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]does my heart decieve me yet again?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]how do i convince you?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]please just stop[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]you are so talented[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]you won't find happiness[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]at the bottom of that bottle[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]just another empty glass[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]you try so hard[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]to please everyone[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]but yourself[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]can't you see?[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]your suffering[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] [CENTER][SIZE=2][COLOR=purple]let me help[/COLOR][/SIZE][/CENTER] it's like i've woken
arose from my slumber
awaken to confusion

i swore to myself
never again
i wouldn't allow it

is this but a dream?
another one of my dark fantasies?
does my heart decieve me yet again?

how do i convince you?
please just stop
you are so talented

you won't find happiness
at the bottom of that bottle
just another empty glass

you try so hard
to please everyone
but yourself

can't you see?
your suffering
let me help
]]> tormented lust http://www.absolutepunk.net/journal.php?do=showentry&e=222992