Spenny's Blog Entry

I completely agree. I'm bitter and resentful because of failed relationships, and it makes me really frustrated. I used to be the lively happy one and I can't help but feel constant disappointment.

I think we just need to take on something that we feel will better ourselves or allow us to use our creativity in a more productive way.

I'm with you on that. I haven't been in a ton of relationships, but the people I seem to go for always seem to be two-faced. And I recently found out the person I have been falling for has a boyfriend, something she's hidden from me for the past few months, and has been dating him for 3 years. I know lots of people would go for it regardless, not caring about the consequences, but I don't want to cause other people to go through the same shit I've had to deal with. That's partially why I hate being such a nice guy though, I'll maintain my distance if I judge it necessary, rather than just going for it. Though whenever I do go for it, I just end up miserable.

Then I had a big fight with a really good friend lately because I finally spoke my mind to them about something, and they didn't like hearing what I had to say. There's only so much shit I can put up with before I just get pissed. My problem is I shouldn't be so passive in the first place and let things build up, I should just be more upfront. I'm trying to change that.

My way of feeling better is just filling up my schedule with stuff to do as much as possible. The busier I am, the less time I have to worry about such things. I just need to find a new outlet. I'm stuck in a rut and I don't do anything new anymore. My life is getting more and more boring and I need to find something new and exciting to change that. I need to meet new people, go out more.


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