It's amazing how much a simple line from a song can sum you up.
I've been thinking about myself a lot lately - not in a selfish manner, but more so reflecting on who I've become over the past 19 years - and I must say, I'm quite pleased with how I have turned out so far. If anything, that is one of the best feelings, knowing you've gone so long succeeding as a person. Never have I given in to something I don't believe in. Never have I given myself or anyone I love a reason to be ashamed of who I am. It's beautiful to have people in my life who encourage my attitude and my ambition daily; they are really what keep me going.
I have a backbone.
I have the capability to stand on my own two feet.
I have the strength to say no.
I don't search for someone to complete me.
I am independent.
I am invincible.
No one can break me.
A fear of mine - what if all of this success as a person will lead to failing in life? I have been thinking about my future, and I can't help but wonder how I'll turn out when I finish school and am out on my own. Is the degree I'm pursuing the answer? Will I find out too late that Psychology isn't the field I am meant to work in? I want to help those who need it, but what if my answers aren't enough? Or what if I don't even have the answers? Scary to think of, and it is merely a possibility.
Those faces in this town that left four months ago are slowly returning. It's nice to run into familiarity, but it sure is a reality check that some things, no matter how familiar they are, will never be the same.
There are places I'll never go that I need to go to.
There are people that I'll never meet that I need to meet.
There are people I know in places that aren't here,
And, right now, I'm not okay with that.
It's 1am, I am listening to "Motorcycle Drive By", and the rain is tapping hard on my window - beautiful.