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Closure: I'm done with these ill feelings.
|Closure: I'm done with these ill feelings.|
10/07/09 at 11:09 PM by [.RezUReX.Ex.]
|Before I completely forget about you, I just want you to know you're a piece of shit for what you did to me. Had you been a little bit more mature and actually knew how to handle situations you would have been able to realize that fucking me over wasn't such a smart OR mature idea. Yep, I was wrong for the way I treated you at times, I'll admit that. And I wasn't always the worst appreciative, but would I ever consider doing something like that to you? NEVER. Because even though I never was in love with you, at one point-in-time I loved you. Very much so. And when you have my love you have a friend FOREVER, but you'll never know. I pity people like you who go out in the world feeling like they HAVE to be loved in order to attain true happiness. . Please don't think I'm trying to get back with you or be your friend. Because the damage is done. You're fucked. When you sit back and realize how I was probably one of the realist people you'll ever meet. When you realize how even though I was never in love with you I loved you. And when you realize that you messed over a good thing with your childish immaturity and stupidity when it comes to handling situations... It'll hurt.'Cause with out you even knowing it, I was unconditional. I would would have never hurt you and with what you did to me in the room you proved to me: you never loved me, you never were in love with me and are a sad, pathetic man. I've moved on from you, but not the situation. With me having said this, I will have closure. I forgive you, but I will never forget.|
[I had to let the past be the past and let it go. *You* helped me to realize this that windy yesterday as we sat in the back seat of yo Mamas 'Lac getting over our own situation, talking it out like grown folks do. When I wrote this... It came from heart, and that's probably why it feels so good to write it. 'Cause I meant. Honestly, truthfully. And, if *You* hadn't made me realize the truth about the situation, that I wasn't over it,... I'd still be harboring those thought-consuming feelings. When I'm honest with myself... I feel good... I feel free. Like, I ended something that was consuming me. CHAPTER 18 CLOSED, 19 IN THE MAKING [with *You*]. I feel like I honestly have closure. Real closure, not the fake make-myself-feel-better-'cause-my-pride-won't-let-me-feel-what's-real-kind. Thank *You*. My heart is open and ready to give to *You*... Please, don't break it.]
[Gah damn, sorry guys. I reread this passage and worked out all the misspellings and what not. Good lord. -Rezu]