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New Best Friends
|New Best Friends|
12/22/09 at 11:23 PM by WakeUpBlondie
|Sure, I can combine absurd amounts of sarcasm and a touch of pompousness to hide my insecurities, but that just digs deep this hole of shit I have to deal with.|
I could be a starving child in Africa with AIDS, or whatever the worst case scenario is nowadays, and have the luxury of a cozy home, good (physical) health, and access to this very blog, but at the end of the day, isn't it all the same? Externals aside, the human brain can override everything else.
It's shitty, to say the least, to have to live like this. More hours than not are spend worrying about nothing; I'm a slave to my thoughts. Some call it Anxiety Disorder, I call it hell. Skipping classes, drinking, and weekly doctor visits are some of the remedies of this lifelong illness. It concurs everything, it takes over your life. You have to succumb to what your gut is feeling, or lack there of. Sleepless nights and forgotten meals are some of the noticeable, explainable effects.
In and out of the doctor's office and experimenting with countless mass-produced drugs are just a sample, something tells me this isn't how i should be living, it's not 'normal.'
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some teenage punk complaining because his parents didn't let him go to the Bring Me the Shitrizon show, no. I'll have this when I'm 80, but hey, at least it gives me something to write about.
Sadly, a few close friends and anonymous strangers on absolutepunk.net are the only who know the truth, and not even all. I have my problems, but who doesn't? I always feel obliged to put on this fucking facade, to cover up that which is mentioned above.