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I've been waiting for so long
|I've been waiting for so long|
03/18/10 at 05:26 PM by WakeUpBlondie
|I'm not sad anymore, I'm just tired of this place. |
The above is sung in The Wonder Years' The Upsides. It caused me to have a revelation, an epiphany more or less. I take a look at my peers, everyone's so fucking depressed. It makes me depressed. Half my friends are on Prozac and drown in self-pity. I'm no stranger to that, but there are the upsides. Don't let them go unnoticed.
The last two years for me have been less than ideal. I've fucked with drugs, Rx and ones that have landed me in sticky situations. I used to be like that, of course we're all sad at times; that's human. I'm alive, I'm going to a good school, I have the best friends in the world, I have a passion. I see so many people mutter about their insignificant lives. I'm not going to make this a philosophical/ straight-out-of-high-school-religion-class babble, but life's fucking good. Of course I can say this from a vantage point, considering you have to hit rock bottom to know how good life feels. I'm no narcissist, but I love life.
December 29th, 2009 I was almost dead. I knew I was doing something wrong when I was found passed out on countless drugs, some of which I don't even remember, on my floor babbling incoherently.I learned the next morning I was about 1 pill/ 1 drink away from being pronounced dead, as well as certain medications are the last thing that should be taken with a drink. That's not the way I want to live my live. I was a selfish little kid, self-absorbed in getting that high. I know I'm wired to be an addict. I think about drugs more than sex, but I've been sober for three months.
New season. New music. New friends. New city. New school.
I don't want this feeling to fade.