I am completly exhausted, I always thought people were over exagerating when they say you never get any sleep once you have kids.
But I figured I would get some sleep but even on my days off I still have to get up early with Zander!
I feel like there is never enough time in my day, I never get anything done that I want or need to get done,
And I never have time to just sit down and do things I want to do, I find my self debating a lot, like when I do get free time there are so many things I want to do because I never get to and so I have to pick just one thing and it makes me even more stressed.
Plus Chris is saying I don't spend enough time with him, I just wish he understood how over whelmed I have been lately.
I thought me sitting at home playing xbox with him and chit chatting with him through out the day was hanging out, but apparently it isn't not when he wants me to lay down and watch t.v with him, or something else of the sorts. But considering I never get free time to myself, laying down seems to be taking away from it for me : /. Not that I don't want to spend time with him, I love spending time with him, I just have 10000 other things to do.
I wish I had a little time for friends, and to hang out and socialize with females, and go out and do the things I used to, but I get anxiety when I am away from Chris and the baby, considering they are the most important people in my lfe. Then I just feel like I am wasting more time while I am out doing jack shit.
This stuff stresses me out way to much, I have no clue how to deal with all the thoughts, and being tired, and having Zander to take care of all at the same time, I wish there was two of me to handle the jobs that would be great... I wish I could afford just being a stay at home mommy, that would be even better then I wpu;d have time to clean, take care of the baby, and do stuff in my free time and not be so overwhelmed about everything. But unfortunatly I have to live in realitry, because I know that I can't afford to do that.