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New List of Stupid Things I'd Like to Accomplish Before I Hit My 30's
New List of Stupid Things I'd Like to Accomplish Before I Hit My 30's
08/02/08 at 12:59 PM by G apostrophe Ra
1. Dunk a basketball in an actual pickup game.

I'm only 5'9, but I can grab the rim on one out of five tries or so, and there was a badass on my high school's team who could dunk when he was 5'7 and 16 years old. I believe it is totally doable, and as of recent my passion for playing basketball has come back with a vengeance, so I will be working toward this goal starting now.

2. Lay a girl or woman who is famous enough that my saying I did so will provoke absolute disbelief from anyone who knows me

I dunno why, but I think this is a hilarious idea.

3. Play a show with MxPx

Incredible band now having been around for sixteen years and counting. Opening for them someday would kind of be like the culmination of the nuttiness I've descended into starting in ninth grade when I began to teach myself guitar and listen obsessively to this band.

4. Stage dive and not break any bones, ideally by actually getting caught

This one seems the most immediately plausible, but it ain't a guarantee. I have seen the frontmen of absurdly popular bands get dropped on their asses. As the non-frontman of a not absurdly popular band, my odds are further complicated ha ha.

5. Spit in Sean Hannity's face, Roberto Alomar-style

That guy, for me, is the epitome of what's wrong with every sophistry-dependent right-wing ideologue/jingoist I have ever met, and as such I think I could weather the legal hassle and defamation of my character that would likely result.
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