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| | Ways to spend a Friday night |
[1] Buy a coffee.
[2] Listen to Nothington's Roads, Bridges, and Ruins from start to finish (lyrics in-hand).
[3] For dinner? A burrito.
[4] Read another chapter in Nick Hornby's "Juliet, Naked."
[5] Take a nap
[6] Scour the Internet for apartments
[7] Reply to those e-mails from those people who wrote you a few months back
[8] Play "hardcore-style" air-bass to Lifetime's Jersey's Best Dancers
[9] Play some Scrabble
This is how I intend to reward the past week of working eleven hour days. And then some. I need to find my way back to allowing the "little things" to cheer me up. I can't rely on other things--friends, alcohol, girls--to keep me optimistic and hopeful. The knowledge that I'll be able to move out on my own, become an independent adult has given me a much-needed shot of reality.
It's time to focus, time to make things happen, and time to get my head on straight. And a Friday night alone seems like the perfect way to get the ball rolling.
Of course, I should probably get to bed. This guy needs to wake up in about four hours... | | Tags: lists, things to do on a friday night alone |
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| | "Growing up, isn't moving." |
It's official: I'll be making the move into the city at some point in the very near-future. I have a roommate (finally). All that's left? Apartment hunting.
To say that this is a much-needed bit of positivity would be an understatement. | | Tags: moving out, moving on |
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| | Holding my breath. |
I'm ignoring my own advice and holding my breath. I haven't written anything about this here, because, well, I was hoping to not get too jazzed up about it. But it looks as though I might finally get that "new beginning" that I've been hoping for.
Turns out? Trying for something works far better than hoping for it. And just for the record: This has nothing to do with a girl.
The past week has made me realize what my life has been missing. Something to be proud of, a legitimate achievement. Of course to most, this "achievement" is referred to as "living." I've been at a stand still for far too long. It feels good to move forward, if even just a tiny bit. And if only with a glimmer of hope. | | Tags: progress |
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| | | That new Say Anything record. |
I was fully expecting a post about the Fest tonight. But, as it turns out...The new Say Anything record hit me pretty fucking hard on the first listen. Admittedly, it's not so much for the music as the lyrics. It's a solid pop-rock album, and I say that with all due respect, but what blew me away was the lyrics. Instant connection.
"I can't define myself through irony and self-deprecation. I can't deny myself being alive through my alienation."
I'm always blown away when I hear or read something that describes exactly what it is that I'm dealing with but can't quite express in my own words. Now, time to get the gumption to fix it.
And I have a cup of coffee, two shots of Bailey's Irish Cream, a night alone, and a Broadway Calls t-shirt that says I can fuck this shit up in the best way possible with the right mindset. Who's with me? | | Tags: say anything, coffee rules |
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| | | Staring at the magazines on the endcaps will fuck your head up good. |
I came to a realization earlier today: I've been living in a world of fantasy the past few months. And, in the process? I've developed traits that I despise. And it's been damaging my self-esteem. And no amount of vinyl, alcohol, one-night stands, or stand-up comedy is going to save me from myself.
So. New rule. When I start to feel that twinge, that feeling of "I'll never be good enough for that." I stop. Dead in my tracks, turn away from whatever it is I'm doing and/or looking at, and do something that will make me good enough for that.
But if I keep doing what I've been doing? Shit's going to unravel quickly. It's not too late to fix this before it falls apart. I think the vacation time I have on the way will be a good way to re-center myself.
And listen to exorbitant amounts of new music while reflecting on life. Can't wait to spin that new Methadones 7-inch. | | Tags: self-reflection, self-loathing, self-help, motivation, the methadones |
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| | This time next week... |
At this time next week, I'll most likely be sharing a drink or two with my buddy Andrew in Gainesville, Florida. Eagerly awaiting waking up to the warm Florida air and the Fest. Or, as I've come to calling it lately: "My spring break." Three days of punk rock, booze, sore throats from sing-alongs, and bonding. Who could ask for more?
That, coupled with the week's vacation from work that I'll be using in the process is enough to get me stoked for the week ahead. On the interim, I have a Halloween party to attend, a Teenage Bottlerocket show to witness, and a Friday night spent alone with music and beer to look forward to.
I'm feeling strangely optimistic as of late. Thankfully, it has nothing to do with a female and everything to do with myself. Let's just hope it's not faux-optimism stemming from the upcoming onslaught of pleasant busy-ness, eh? | | Tags: optimism is rare |
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| | | My Fest line-up is nowhere near as hip and/or gritty as yours |
Friday, October 30th
7 Seconds
Strike Anywhere
A Wilhelm Scream
Small Brown Bike
American Steel
The Casting Out
Only Thunder
In the Red
Saturday, October 31st
Less Than Jake
Dillinger Four
The Swellers
The Copyrights
Dear Landlord
Banner Pilot
We Are the Union
The Knockdown
Sunday, November 1st
Samiam
The Methadones
Chris Wollard & the Ship Thieves
Cheap Girls
Attica! Attica!
Off With Their Heads
Broadway Calls
This is shaping up to be one of the best weekends of my life. Ridiculously stoked! Who are you going to see? | | Tags: the fest, line-up, stoked |
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| | No life, more curves, and Nothington. |
You know you spend entirely far too much time on the Internet when you realize that one of the personal ads on MySpace was PhotoShopped to make her look just a tad curvier. Yes, curvier.
This boy needs a hobby. Also? At this point in time, the new Nothington album is a contender for my favorite album of the year. | | Tags: MySpace, curves, Nothington |
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| | Homework and Fest-dom |
"Working from home" is my new favorite phrase. Pajamas, El-P's Fantastic Damage, eggs, and an Internet connection will do wonders to help decrease one's stress level.
Also? How 'bout that Fest schedule, eh? T-minus 23 days 'til my "spring break." So fucking stoked! | | Tags: working from home, the fest |
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| | The Bouncing Souls never let me down. Ever. |
After a weekend of iffy (at best) drinking decisions, anxiety-riddled social situations, and self-doubt out the wazoo...Along come the Bouncing Souls with their new song ("Like the Sun") to make me feel better. And inspire. The way they always do. I can't directly relate to the words, but they give me hope.
And when that's what you lack, sometimes that's all you need. They're the match, I'm the gasoline.
Drifting alone on a wide open sea,*letting life pass me by
Avoiding everything I'm afraid to be, but your heart it shines a light
Lost in my own misery, till you came and helped me see
That I don't have to be alone thank you for giving this lost heart a home
So keep the light on
I'm coming home
Cuz I've been gone for so long
Always lost inside, always looking away
When the best moments in life are ours to take
The tragedy of human life, the darkness that lurks inside
The days that we quit and start to die
This is the time to stand and fight
So keep the light on
I'm coming home
Cuz I've been gone for so long
So shine on | | Tags: the bouncing souls, inspiration |
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| | Generic |
| Have you ever been frustrated with yourself, your thoughts, and the associated outcomes? That's me right now. It's not a fun state to be in. Particularly when the real reason behind it all isn't so much yourself as just poor luck. Clearly this is the appropriate time of night for such thoughts. I suck. | |
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| | Wheels |
I know what you're thinkin'
We were goin' down
I can feel the sinkin'
But then I came around
And everyone I've loved before
Flashed before my eyes
And nothin' mattered anymore
I looked into the sky
Well, I wanted something better, man
A wish for something new
And I wanted something beautiful
A wish for something true
Been lookin' for a reason, man
Something to lose
When the wheels come down
When the wheels touch ground
And you feel like it's all over
There's another round for you
When the wheels come down
Now your head is spinnin'
Broken hearts will mend
This is our beginning
Comin' to an end
Well, I wanted something better, man
A wish for something new
And I wanted something beautiful
A wish for something true
Been lookin' for a reason, man
Something to lose
And just like that? I am inspired by the beauty of yet another pop song, the power of guitar, and the tugging of a heart string. Music never ceases to amaze me. | | Tags: foo fighters, wheels, single |
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