So I just recently got home from going out of town. I had a great time with my friend in her quiet, aged little town. There's not much to do but kick it and experience the beauty of the Rockies and northern New Mexico. I really had a great time just sitting on the porch drinking coffee and talking about everything under the sun. I love being out there, it seems so much more simple in a small town than in the city. I'm sure it's not but It feels that way to me every time I go out there. There is something so calming and zen like out there in the mountains. The only thing that makes me sad is that I know I wont be doing that for awhile since she is leaving to South Carolina for school. It's ridiculous how much Im gonna miss her but I know this will be a great experience for her. I hope that someday we can go back to that small space of peace and just...be. Well I'm back now and have to go back to paying bills and figuring out my money situation and how I am gonna afford some trips coming up. Then I have school and everything else...ugh...life lol!!
So It's been awhile since my last entry and I have been doing pretty good. I feel like I'm finally over her. I just cant love her the same way anymore and...I think that's good. Her and I didn't treat each other right and it wasn't going to change no matter how much I wanted us to. "We will always have Paris". Sam is back in town from Europe gosh Im so jealous but man It was so great seeing her today she makes me so happy it's retarded. Oh man and Me and my friend are a week away from our adventure in the windy city and frankly I'm so excited. We are gonna be looking at fine art and of course going to Warped Tour!! Seeing the Chicago Fire play and just gorging ourselves with delicious food the whole time. Work has been the same as it always is...which is shitty...but that's work right.
Well thats all for now.
"In a haze a stormy haze I'll be loving you always"
So this is a first for me...idk its weird writing and pouring my thoughts onto paper. I think I could enjoy doing this more often. So my weekend...It was pretty sweet I had fun last night getting a lil tipsy. Its hard cuz my friends are all so wonderful and at the same time im pretty down. I have this girl...haha isn't that how they all start out oh man!! I think me and her could be great but one problem...she's my friend and thats such a catch 22. Not to mention I just recently hooked up with her best friend...Wow this is such a cluster fuck i have come to realize. haha oh man!! I like her friend to but its been so awkward since then and idk...not to mention I miss my ex...why i have no idea when you think about it logically we had grown so far apart its retarded, but then again with love you don't think with your head but your heart. I want to talk to her so bad but i know if i do it will be terrible i need her to stop being so jealous and ive come to realize with her that human beings are very habitual and wont just change. Its like we have to have this glorious or traumatic event in our lives to change. I feel like you have to hit the shit out of somebody for them to realize that they need to change. Ugh...idk Im just ranting...theres a lot of things I need to change in my life to I have come to realize. I used to be in good shape and I'm not terribly out of it but I could stand to lose like 15 lbs. I guess this is gonna be a new start for me now that me and her are not together anymore i mean we have been with each other for the past four years.