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Kata's Blog
04/10/10 at 05:56 PM by lacey_lane
i hate myself and all that i am
with wounds so deep i can barely stand
the choices i make are always wrong
if i wasn't here the pain would be gone
no longer go in the wrong direction
or give another my affection
giving up would be so easy
I AM would be gone there would be no ME

there's only one problem
others would feel pain
sorrow will become of them
with only me to blame

so on i go through a maze
tripping and slipping on my way
always falling short of the gold
so far i've bet when i should just fold

pick myself and keep on going?
stop feeling sorry and just get moving?
it's always easier said than done
when you fall and have to get up and run

fuck everyone who thinks they're perfect
full of vanity and not even worth it
not worth the pain and the suffering
when they are the ones that truely have nothing

society starts this feeling for most
pushing the images of stars down our throats
when really we have exactly what we need
being incomplete is how we should be

summer 2003
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garland robinson - leather outback moccasin and sandal shop
04/06/10 at 08:44 PM by lacey_lane
he told me about his life;
about how he lived and how she died
drunk driver's lights pour into their eyes
he wishes that his life was taken away
right next to his soulmate he would lay
at least he'd be content cold in the ground
never again would he hear the sound
a torture chamber inside the brain
images making him go insane
never to love again
living but not within
makes me feel lucky for how we are
realize it could be us in that car
stop for a minute, don't take it for granted
this feeling of love that we've been handed

seventyeight and still all alone
has a business, i answer the phone
he orders his boxes, envelopes and labels
not knowing his emotions would be on the table

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04/06/10 at 08:25 PM by lacey_lane
trying my best to stay out of debt
got the money but it's all been spent
ten minutes sitting here and waiting
nothing but bitching & complaining
i don't really care what they say
you're lucky you get to be here today
so shut your mouth & look & see
what a great day it could potentially be
addictions come over us in a flash
and throw us all off the right path
it's weakness that starts from within
laziness we try to defend
WAKE-UP! take care of yourself
you'll be rewarded - a different wealth
three minutes and counting
and still she is shouting
bitter and old, stuck in a rut
still i don't know how she's been cut
so i am silent and still
while she takes another pill

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04/06/10 at 07:32 PM by lacey_lane
so you spit and don't listen to a word i say
something's important - just look away
take what you can, sit in your throne
there will be noone left - you'll be alone
my hair is brekaing from the roots
caused by an imbalance of loose truth
deep within, down to my nerves
i let it get to me everytime
leading to a place i cannot find
torture sitting near
creeping in here
filling every divot
no room to pivot

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selfish act
04/06/10 at 07:24 PM by lacey_lane
he thought it would be easier to lie down
let it pour out and soak in the ground
a selfish act lying on your back
helping noone out including yourself

your problems just stay and wait for you here
today and tomorrow, as long as you fear
to face your mistakes - takes one hell of a man
it's never too late to get up and stand

find yourself, find what you love
do what you want and rise above
the influence of a wicked mind
will linger and haunt you inside
make it go away another way

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04/06/10 at 07:10 PM by lacey_lane
don't let it die
i want to stay
feel this alive
til i fade away

anxiety trapped inside
wait to draw the line
to baptise the pain
ebb the webb of disdain

into a white lie
eclipsed by the eye
of any passerby
who might emprise

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on the other side
04/06/10 at 07:04 PM by lacey_lane
don't slip away from reality
come down and take a glimpse
this silver and gold society
at least from here to the fence
it's greener i know
but does it still grow
when the fire burns
down to the roots
you can nurse the damage
yet still take advantage
destroying the cage we've been handed

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carbon copy invasion
04/06/10 at 06:58 PM by lacey_lane
my mind is dead and dissipated
every day a carbon copy of the next
yet it never gets less complicated
impatiently waiting til it takes effect
abstain the temptation
it's taking you now
to an earthy creation
dragging you down
there will never be enough
no matter how big the cut
a temporary satisfaction
every time a different reaction
waiting for that perfection
you never seem to grasp
becomes an obsession
irreversable and invading fast

nov. 2008
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starting from the end
04/04/10 at 02:54 AM by lacey_lane
awake with a sound next to me
my mind flickering through scenes
finished my book, im cold
rested and tired, nerves wired
changes taking place
as life is erased
growing closer to this soul
letting gravity take hold
falling fast against the wind
folding ends start to bend
creating a new form
like a life reborn
open petals towards the moon
soaking starlight to bloom
take a breath sweet child
feel the elements pile
filling the depths of it all
beginning to walk from a crawl
brand new, yet centuries old
same steps still seen as bold
reoccuring memories made fresh
filed away with all the rest
the fact is it's you who makes it new
starting again, from the end.
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04/04/10 at 02:43 AM by lacey_lane
a lonely heart is better than a broken heart
my gravity pulls towards a soul
leaving me a heart sized hole
shattered pieces lay around
splinters falling - never found
how can anyone tell where it fits?
as my hands transform into fists
the frustration builds
absolution killed
my eyes are full
from your strangle hold
we want the same
why is it so hard?
when a bridge falls
does it have to burn?
or can it be salvaged & brought off the ground?

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04/04/10 at 02:36 AM by lacey_lane
getting closer to death, so there's a plus
selfish looking cold, but so tempting
in my shoes made of lead i tread
could always be worse, but my standards are high
maybe not through another's eyes

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cause & effect
04/04/10 at 02:32 AM by lacey_lane
no time to write, have to focus on the now somehow.
don't look back - the past is gone, learn & move on.
don't do it again & slip into the cycle.
temptations thrown at your face
defend yourself & don't give in.
do what you can, just try.
send the darkness aside.
you can't go back - NOONE IS PERFECT
you will lie, you will cheat, you will steal, you will hate, you will envy, you will fake.
small, medium or large - the mistake does not decide your fate.
cause & effect - you are alone, but with company.

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seeing through the mist
03/28/10 at 10:38 PM by lacey_lane
spending my days to sort through the mist
prioritize what is first on my list
unorganized jumble, tangled endless string
interlacing threads of unthinkable things
overwhemling knot seems impossible to slip
try to decipher whether to cut, snip or clip
untying each coil one at a time
seems simple enough til you enter my mind
desperate weaving in and out of the rubble
decide not to sever, instead face my trouble
i close my tired eyes and sink into you
suddendly a spark fires, i see the truth
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03/26/10 at 09:06 PM by lacey_lane
temptation for an instant gratification
i need to stop being what i hate
the carsick feeling when you take
crushing down on the soul
stop the anvil before it drops
the love is there, not always fair
never gone, maybe one thing wrong

loving a little too much

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03/26/10 at 08:59 PM by lacey_lane
encased by two magnets
cracked in tiny fragments
taking another swing
chipping & scratched rings
the frayed coarse edges
surrounds the whole of you
cutting into space
letting chemicals place
no pressure relieved
held up & examined
taken without a fight
what would be right?
confusion again
definition of sin?

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Last Updated: 04/10/10 (390 Views)
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