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| True Stories I Made Up
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 Trevor Sostarich's Photo Blog |
| Just Watched Dear Jack... |
| That documentary is amazing. I didn't expect it to hit me like that. I should have known though. I just didn't expect to tear up at all and it was just nuts. I'm so happy Andrew is still with us today. After seeing everything he went through it just showed me how precious life really is. The film is a must watch. Get it on iTunes or wherever you get you movies. It's worth every penny. | | Tags: jack's mannequin, dear jack, documentary |
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| | Just Got Home From Brand New, Thrice, and Crime In Stereo |
So the show tonight was great. Crime In Stereo was good. The front man was a little over the top. He just jumped around way too much. A little over the top for the opening act (in my opinion). They were easily forgettable. Thrice did great as well, but there's a lack of energy in their live shows now. Maybe I'm not growing like they are musically, but I just kept finding myself getting distracted. I kept looking at their gear more than listening to the songs they were playing. They're solid musicians, but I guess I just like the older material than the newer material.
Brand New on the other hand were fantastic. They opened the show with "You Won't Know" which was perfect. Their energy was spot on with their songs, and Jesse Lacey's voice makes you envious of his ability to sing the way he does. I find myself completely jealous of his writing style, his guitar playing, and his vocals. The dude has way more problems than I have ever had in my life, but damn does he know how to make me connect. Songs that were played tonight are listed below. I'll list them in no particular order, but by which album the songs appeared on.
Deja Entendu:- Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades
- Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don't
- The Quiet Things That No One Every Knows
- Play Crack The Sky
The Devil & God Are Raging Inside Me:- Sowing Season
- Jesus
- Degausser
- Limousine
- You Won't Know
- Luca
- The Ancher's Bows Have Broken
Daisy:- Vices
- At The Bottom
- Gasoline
- You Stole
- Bought A Bride
- In A Jar
http://trevorsostarich.tumblr.com | | Tags: brand new, thrice, crime in stereo, concert, reaction |
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| | | The Greener Grass *new rough lyrics* |
I’m done with all of my boring nonsense
and speaking for everything in past tense
Just want to speak for the here and now
cause I know I’m done letting myself down
overcoming things that I’ve done
finding new meaning in old songs
all about my long lost loves
whom I have no reason speaking of
I finally realized everything they said
“You’re gonna be someone.”
“you’re gonna help them mend.”
(Broken hearts, the lonely and depressed)
“you’re the voice of reason now sing to them!”
I know I will never save the world
but I can save myself
and I know I am ready now
to be the voice of everyone else
how could I be if I can’t define
the person I have been this entire time
but now I see with non hazy eyes
the greener grass on the other side
I use to curl up in bathrooms at night
after drugs and alcohol took over my life
always attempting to find an escape
but all of my reality was slipping away
but those days are gone for me now
I finally figured myself out
for what I wanted this whole entire time
was right there staring me back in my eyes
I finally realized that I’m someone
should have listened from day one
I’ve already had my time to mend
Now I reach out to all of them!
I know I will never save the world
but I can save myself
and I know I am ready now
to be the voice of everyone else
how could I be if I can’t define
the person I have been this entire time
but now I see with non hazy eyes
the greener grass on the other side
I thought I’d lost it all in the end
then I came running back again
to the voices that use to call my name
somehow they never gave up faith
in me and all of my idealistic poetry
of all the persona’s I had long to be
finding truth, no more lies
cut the rope to my demise
I know I will never save the world
but I can save myself
and I know I am ready now
to be the voice of everyone else
how could I be if I can’t define
the person I have been this entire time
but now I see with non hazy eyes
the greener grass on the other side
Description and reasoning of song:
This song is me finding who I am and really just trying to be some kind of savior for myself. Everyone who knows me knows that this has been a very difficult year for me. I’ve gone through things that I wasn’t prepared for at all. From all those drugged out and boozed filled nights to finally sobering up and seeing a purpose for myself. This song is about everyone involved (friends who saw something in me, the old me, the new me, my love, everyone…) so this song is to show them that I’m finally in the right mindset. I still have off days, but this is the first positive song really. It brings up negative things, but I needed to express it and just be honest. I have guitar written for this and I have drum beat in my head. I want to get this recorded soon. I’ve written it as an aggressive pop rock song. Very up beat. I hope you enjoy it, and please, please, please give me some feedback.
PS - I’m very wordy, but I like it that way. | | Tags: lyrics, music, poetry, update, picture this |
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| | What A Day |
This has been one of the hardest days to make it through. So much drama going on within my personal life. Seriously I'm just getting better from my kidney stone and surgery, just lay the fuck off right now.
Anyway no more ranting. I'm really thankful for a few albums that helped me get through today. You can find them below.
- Relient K - Forget and Not Slow Down
- The Matches - Decomposer
- Cary Brothers - Who You Are
I'm going to attempt to go to bed at this moment. Hopefully when I wake up it'll be a good day. I can be hopeful. | | Tags: update, personal, relient k, cary brothers, the matches, drama |
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| | A Blog From My Hospital Bed |
| Last night I got a sharp pain in my back around midnight. I mean really sharp almost stabbing like pain. It was so bad that I was throwing up and I just couldn't get comfortable. I got rushed to the ER around 2 in the morning and I've been here ever since. Found out I have a huge kidney stone (7.5 mm). Today they put me to sleep and put a catheter up in my penis. They moved the kidney stone but they haven't gotten rid of it. I gotta make an appointment for this week or next week to get rid of it. I'm just waiting to pee in order to go home right now. I'm not in pain anymore since they moved it. I'm glad I can eat some food again and drink some water again. I'm saying goodbye to soda, tea, and alcohol for a while. Time to take care of myself before anything else goes wrong. | | Tags: update, health, personal, hospital, kidney stone |
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| | Blink-182 Tampa, FL Sep. 27th |
So it was probably the best show I've been to. I've been trying to see Blink merely my whole life. I'm 21 now and yeah, I was never able to make it. They played a great set and Tom actually sounded good. The energy was fantastic and it really looks like Tom and Mark are becoming great friends again. I posted some pictures on my tumblr blog. More will be posted soon, but check them out.
PICTURES!!! | | Tags: blink-182, pictures, tampa, FL, september, 27th, reaction, blog, tumblr |
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| | Writers Block! Quick (but long) Update/Rant. |
Today I've been trying to write some new songs. Seems like all I've been getting though is writers block. Everything seems like I'm trying to force it out. Where did my inspiration go? I want to feel that passion again. I do have the passion, but I'm bored with my older songs. Don't get me wrong, I have written some really good songs lately, but I still think I can do better. Hopefully something good will come out soon. I need a change of scenery. I need a new life style. I've been reinventing myself as of lately, and I think that's the theme of my album. Reinventing yourself. A story of coming of age so to speak and finding ones self where you least expected to. Many things have led me to this point in my life.
This year alone I've lost people in my life. I've lost two close "friends". Turns out they weren't much of friends at all. It's a shame too on account of one of those people I've known for 10 years. He was also considered my best friend. He told me to pick him or my girlfriend of 3 years. I picked my girlfriend. Why would someone try to put someone in that situation. I didn't do that to him when he got married. I didn't do that to him when he and his wife split up and she was sleeping with other dudes, and still got back together with her. I don't agree with their marriage, but I never put that in place of our friendship. I don't care if he likes my girlfriend. I cannot stand his wife. I still love he and I's friendship, but apparently he doesn't. Oh well. I also lost another friend that I've known for three years. Turns out he uses people and is a drug addict. I don't need that guy in my life anyway.
All of this seemed to happen after my grandmother died. Before she died I was on this downhill spiral. I was getting hooked by drugs and alcohol. My girlfriend and I split up, and I thought I was happy when really I was just miserable. I never let anyone know how depressed I was though. There was no point. Why bring others down? I can handle my own weight. When my grandmother was on her death bed though, I started reconnecting with my ex (we were split up for three or four months). We started working everything out and I noticed that life is fragile. I noticed she was also the one for me. My "best friend" was happy for me and said "if you're happy then I'm happy, and you happiness is what counts". Well that statement was full of shit. Honestly I can do without though. We're not the same people we were when we were growing up. For Christ sakes, he moved to Conneticut for 8 years. How did he expect I'd be when he moved back here? Did he really think everything would be the same? It's a nice thought, but no. My grandmothers death messed me up, but I quit destroying myself. I quit smoking. I quit getting drunk every night. I started to get my act together (and I still am). I hit that point in my life where I just needed to take a break from everything an evaluate my life. Samantha is the one for me. I know it. She knows it. She's the one that keeps me in line and makes me feel whole. I've messed up in the past big time (especially) when we broke up. I said some very hurtful things. I didn't know what I had until it was gone.
Now I start my life. I may have less friends than I use to, but that's okay. I have a great love. I have my ambition and my drive. I have my music, and I have my real friends. Everyday is still a struggle, but I'm getting by. I honestly wouldn't trade anything for the world right now. Success is on the horizon, but it's still going to be a little bit until I get there. Hopefully my writers block will soon be gone. Until next time.
Thanks for reading (if you did). | | Tags: update, rant, personal, writers block, late night blogging |
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| | | Top Albums of 2009 (so far) |
So I'm trying to go through and grab all the albums that are my favorite records so far this year. Doing this every three months or so helps me keep it organized and also helps narrow it down to a top 10 at the end of the year. Below you can see the list in no particular order.
The Dangerous Summer - Reach For The Sun
Fun. - Aim & Ignite
A Day To Remember - Homesick
New Found Glory - Not Without A Fight
All Time Low - Nothing Personal
Cursive - Mama, I'm Swollen
Manchester Orchestra - Mean Everything To Nothing
Set Your Goals - This Will Be The Death Of Us
This Providence - Who Are You Now?
My Favorite Highway - How To Call A Bluff (Re-Release)
P.O.S. - Never Better
Mariachi El Bronx - Mariachi El Bronx
RX Bandit - Mandala
Owl City - Ocean Eyes
My Hidden Track - Hey Love
The Apathy Eulogy - Resolve To Dream
Fake Problems - It's Great To Be Alive
Green Day - 21st Century Breakdown
Karate High School - Invaders
Mansions - New Best Friends
Ace Enders & A Million Different People - When I Hit The Ground
Kevin Devine - Brother's Blood
Two Tongues - Two Tongues
The Dear Hunter - Act III: Life and Death
I know I'm missing some right now, but that's what I got for now. Some of you may have a similar list. Some of you may have a completely different list. This is everything that's been getting high rotation this year that came out this year. More will be posted as the year goes on. | | Tags: AOTY, Update, Bored |
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| | Went to Warped Tour yesterday |
| And I don't get the feeling that I use to while I was there. I watched You, Me, and Everyone We Know, Less Than Jake, All Time Low, Lights, Big D and The Kids Table and that was about it. Seriously I just felt out of place being there. I felt old. I was tired two hours in. It was too hot. I feel like I could have spent my money on something better. This tour just doesn't mean the same to me. It doesn't even stand for what it use to stand for. The tour is slowly becoming a joke. Give me my punk rock. I don't want The Maine or Every Avenue. Even worse I don't want Brokencyde or Millionaires. These bands are jokes. I won't be going back to another Warped Tour until they have a better line up, or if the ticket is given to me for free. Needless to say I won't be wasting my money on this again. | | Tags: warped tour, disappointed, rant, update |
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| | Late Night Blogging |
Life has been looking up lately. I've been going through a lot as it is these past few months, but things seem to be going in place. I've quite smoking. I'm getting more into my music and writing a lot more. I'm developing a completely healthy and loving relationship with my amazing girlfriend. I'm making money and saving more. I can't be more satisfied.
Something that's a downer just happened to me though. My acoustic guitar (which was a gift from my mother years ago) got stolen from me. I lent it to my friend for him to use so he could record a song with it. Well something happened and the guitar went missing. He said he left it at a friend's house where he was recording, but his friend went to jail and the landlord had to make rent money so he auctioned everything off. I'm not wrong for telling my friend he needed to buy me a new one am I? He's ignoring me now. I really hope our friendship was worth it. I wrote a song about it, and now it's all water under the bridge. I cannot afford a new acoustic, so I'm waiting until I can buy a new one. Hopefully sooner, than later.
I'm off to try and get to bed. Warped Tour is Friday. Got some planning to do. I have a box of my ex friend's bands CDs. There's a few hundred. It's going with me to warped to see if I can sell them off for $5 a piece. I'll get my money back some how. | | Tags: update, personal, blogging, acoustic stolen, warped tour |
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| | It's My Birthday! |
I'm 21 today. I find it refreshing, but I'm sad about it too. I can drink legally, but I don't feel the need to really drink anymore. I drank last night though. At midnight I was at the bar all my friends hangout at. I drank for free and I don't really remember coming home. I also apparently woke my whole house up when I got home. I miscalculated the whole diving into bed thing and landed on the floor. My brother and my mom tried to get me up, but I started puking. I don't even want to see alcohol for the rest of today. I just want to relax.
That being said I've got some things to pick up today. Here's my list:- All Time Low - Nothing Personal
- The Gay Blades - Ghost
- Wish You Were Here by Leslie Simon
I'm now off to get on with my day. | | Tags: all time low, the gay blades, birthday, 21, update, personal, book |
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| | Epilogue *lyrics in progress* |
Soaking in the sweat of what I long to be
I was sorry before this all happened
but stubborn-ness took the best of me
I would re-write these pages if I knew they'd be read
but all I did was put the book down
for it to never be picked back up again
it's a whole new chapter with the same old cover
it's been beaten at the seams, but I still annotate
between the heroin and his lover
and all of the lines that they speak
underlining paragraphs of what they meant to say
can I be a cliff note that you always remember
through the rainiest of days
when it's overcast on your mind
and you lose all hope in everything.
can I be the one there to save you
right at the very end
where all the sentences run together
and all of your broken starts to mend.
Let me be your Epilogue | | Tags: lyrics, in progess, update |
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| | "Hold On To Me" *new lyrics* |
I can smell your scent
it's all over my hands
from the night where I held you close to me
and I refuse to wash it off
because I can never have enough
of all of these refreshing memories
please lay still tonight as I sing you to sleep
I promise not to wake you until the sun begins to peak
into your window so I can warm your heart
And I won't leave in the middle of the night
because I'd rather watch you while laying by your side
so when you wake I can warm your heart
I can feel your touch
it seems I can never get enough
of all of the simple things that you do to me
I find myself over heals
telling my head this is real
now I'm trying to be your everything
please lay still tonight as I sing you to sleep
I promise not to wake you until the sun begins to peak
into your window so I can warm your heart
And I won't leave in the middle of the night
because I'd rather watch you while laying by your side
so when you wake I can warm your heart
I feel my breath give out
I feel it get taken away
just by the thought of you
and my nervous speech of never knowing what to say
but I know you understand
every word that goes past my lips
as I gently kiss your forehead
and you hush me with your finger tips
I won't leave your side
No I won't leave your side
never again will I leave your side
through thick and thin
and the darkest of sin
I'll be there telling you it'll be okay
so please, please just hold on to me.
Just hold on to me
Just hold on to me
please lay still tonight as I sing you to sleep
I promise not to wake you until the sun begins to peak
into your window so I can warm your heart
And I won't leave in the middle of the night
because I'd rather watch you while laying by your side
so when you wake I can warm your heart
It'll be okay
Just hold on to me
It'll be okay
Just hold on to me
I can be your everything
Just hold on to me
hold on to me
hold on to me | | Tags: update, lyrics |
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