I spent a lot of time in you. You were the year of goals. The year of so many things coming to fruition that I had been working on.
"You were supposed to continue school"
Yes, I was. I had made the plan to go finish school. I ended up not being able to afford it.
"You were supposed to leave Stockton."
I did. For two months. That's it. Everything there fell apart. The college wouldn't accept me, my job sucked, my roommates were irresponsible dickholes. I lost an extremely large sum of money there through poor decision. I walked back to Stockton with my head hung low, broke and feeling like an idiot for even trying. I crawled back to my old job only to be rejected from it. I found a job out of town that I actually enjoy very much. Can't complain.
I spent my first few months back sulking. Then I moved on to plotting. Now I am moving into the preparations stage. I will finish my work in Stockton before I go. It'll be shitty but I don't care. I feel safe in one of the most unsafe towns in the united states. I know this place, and it'll work with me in the end.
"You were supposed to finish writing "Unnamed Writing Project that is 70% done."
In about 2 hours, I'll be 80% done. I had one of the meanest bouts with writer's block ever. 8 Months and no words I was satisfied with. I put together some more projects to inspire me to finish so I would get excited about the project now. And after a weird occurrence with one of my managers at work, I feel like I can go on with it now.
My manager happens to be a guy who thinks I should continue writing. In fact, I never told him that I write. Wait, that's strange. He says he's psychic, but I don't believe him. Either way, I just sat down and the words came out.
After a year like this, I shouldn't be surprised.
In 2012 I have one goal.
If the apocalypse does happen, then fuck it, I don't want it to be the year I surrendered.
Something about Latterman for a moment:
When latterman had not done anything for almost half a year, the punk community was suspicious. I was, as well. It was revealed on punknews that they had broken up. The worst part about all of it was Matt Canino's description about how jaded he had become: Personally, I don't give a shit about "being positive" or whatever that meant when we were all 18, and the most people seemed to be getting out of the band was "how important friendships are." Well how fucking boring is that? No shit friendships are important, but I think that was far away from the messages we were trying to convey with Latterman.
I Felt like a broken record going on tour and talking about sexism in punk rock every night and then some fucking bro-dudes coming up to me and saying some fucked up shit. I even got to a point where I stopped calling them out on it, and that just felt wrong. I was tired. Basically, it just stopped making sense for everyone in the band to keep on doing the band.
And of course, that was a huge bummer to a lot of the fans of the band, but he had a point. Even on the band's somewhat melancholy final track from their (ironically titled) final album We are Still Alive, "Will This Be On The Test?":
The final line seems relatively unsure and melancholy.
"If today the ground gives in... Hope we won't fall alone."
Between that line and Canino's statement about how he felt the state of the band was going. I felt like they didn't leave on the best of terms with their original vision of being in a band. Leaving a band jaded and bummed is never a great feeling (I've been there).
When the last song the band ever recorded was released a little bit earlier this month (along with the few scant shows they played), it felt kind of nice. With that and watching the live videos of the reunion shows, you could hear the thanks in their sentiments in performances.
If this is the last song they ever unofficially release, I'll be okay with it after the final line and the sweet sound of their instruments emitting static.
"I'm fucking proud of the things that I've done
Cross my fingers and cross my heart."
I remember when I used to pretend that being a teenager was difficult. As a freshman, I'd walk down the outdoor hallways with my cd player (holding it steady, in fear of skippage) and headphones on my ears in fear of social interaction. My only solace is hanging out with my friends and plucking away at my guitar. Every once in awhile, I would get that inevitable tap on the shoulder:
I sleepily took off my headphones and looked at random high school student. "What's up?"
"It's not Thursday."
"Uh, I know."
"But it says so on your shirt."
"Yeah. It's a band name."
"That seems like a really stupid band name."
"The Beatles and the Rolling Stones seem like pretty stupid band names, too."
"I guess so. Whatever dude, later."
I put on my headphones again as random high school student walked off. I had this conversation for what felt like once every two weeks. I didn't care. Thursday were my boys, Full Collapse blew my mind far before Deja Entendu. Playing along with "Cross Out The Eyes" on my guitar in my room with my stereo playing loud. Nothing else mattered as long as I had enough batteries for the bus ride and there were no scratches on the cd.
Thursday, thank you for making my melodramatic high school days a little more bearable. Thank you for making a rather extensive, incredible discography that helped define my own (still working on it) maturity.
The sugar was all over my hand. No way in hell I was going to get it off by shaking it. I considered licking it off, but then went to the faucet and washed it off.
I thought to myself : "Is this some sign of maturity?"
I was taken aback for a moment. I had a miniature freakout at this small revelation.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the bread popping up from the toaster. I realized that I was making cinnamon toast at midnight with a glass of chocolate milk while watching vulgar cartoons.
Is it really the bane of our existence like tell ourselves? Why do we search the farthest corners of the internet for something else? Why isn't the radio good enough for us? I have been struggling with this for awhile. Because honestly, I wish I could enjoy what was on the radio. I feel like there is something I am missing in order to enjoy it.
That was my first theory. Is there is some emotion I'm not getting that I can understand and love the lowest common denominator? Why am I unable to relate to the vodka swilling success stories I call my peers? My desire for something real has made me jaded towards the fun and fancy free. I can't have fun unless the music is fun AND is built on true artistic honesty.
Why the honesty? Why can't I just believe what is already on the radio? They aren't lies if I just ignore where it comes from.
But I can't ignore it.
Everything I desire involves the truth. I want truth. I want it in my songs.
But what about them? Music is just sounds to them. It boggles my mind that people can take music so lightly. I would be so fucking ashamed if my "Jam" was about going out and getting drunk and dancing.
Why, though? It's so... Normal. More people do that than don't on a Friday night. I'm not trying to be different or anything, I just am. But I don't want to be some jaded prick. I just want to sit in a car with my friends sing along with them, but I can't bring myself to sing words that were manufactured. That's so fucking pretentious for me to say.
Are they in denial? People who go out and get fucked up 4 nights a week are trying to repress those feelings they have at the end of the day. When I want to deal with it, I'll listen to a song I know will help. I can relate to the way this person sings, what they're singing about. I've found more emotion in a guitar solo than most people have found in entire albums.
Maybe the people who listen to the radio are afraid of their own feelings. Are they scared that they might find something down here? Do they look themselves in the mirror every morning and feel okay?
I can say they are in denial. Maybe I am, too. The next time the radio comes on, I'll do everything in my power to hum along.
On december 1st, The FX show Terriers is finally going to be put out for mass consumption. This is a story of 2 extremely damaged men trying to hack it as private investigators. There is Hank (with an exceptional turn by Donal Logue, who pulls together an extremely heartbreaking character) an ex-cop whom is going through his ex-wife getting married again. And There is Britt (Played by an extremely likable Michael Raymond-James), a former thief who is trying to escape his criminal past and live each day with his girlfriend Katie (the beautiful Laura Allen).
What sells this show is the chemistry between the two main characters Hank and Britt. After the first episode you will care about these characters. Donal Logue and Michael Raymond-James actually spent a few months hanging out together in order to develop a good interplay with each other. It shows, and combined with the great GREAT writing you'll instantly want to root for these guys.
And you'll need to root for them, because once one thread begins in the first episode, you're in for a ride. While it comes off like a procedural at first, you realize that these investigations are more than what they seem. What begins as tailing a potential cheating wife turns into something completely bizarre and ends very darkly. But that's they way Hank and Britt are. There isn't anything they won't do, and they're resourceful about all of it. The way they tackle things is scrappy yet inventive.
But the two main stories throughout all 13 episodes are the meat. One being a large conspiracy about the town of Ocean Beach (in which bodies begin to pile up), the other being about Hank and Britt's relationships between their respective ladies. Hank is trying to hold down his alcoholism while dealing with his ex-wife Gretchen getting married to a new man. Britt is working through his insecurities because of his criminal past and is slowly letting them come out to Katie. Both relationships are extremely intriguing.
The ensemble cast is great (but I can't reveal much of that without spoilers) and the town of Ocean Beach is shot beautifully. They create a great little universe in a scant 13 episodes. It was one of the most well reviewed first seasons of any show ever. All of the elements come together and you get a beautiful product.
Be sure to give this show a look, come December 1st. You won't regret it.
"You say you listen to everything, but I play black metal or grindcore and you hate it! You're a hypocrite!"
All the while, I boast how diverse my musical palette is, and how I know how to use the term "Palette" in the right context.
Let me sit back and think for a second. The common music listener who listens to the radio will gladly listen to whatever's on. If they listen to rock, they listen to every recycled hook on rock radio. If they listen to hip hop, they listen to every recycled beat and oft-repeated hook. Really for any radio genre, the common music fan is game.
All the while, I listen to many different genres, but only very few certain bands in each. I know a lot of you are like me.
If anything, I'm closer to listening to NOTHING than EVERYTHING.
That being said, why do we only listen to certain things?
If people continually bring up "Not caring about haters" in songs/quotes/boasting/bumper stickers, does that mean they actually care?
I mean, when I don't care about something, I generally don't talk about it. Do people yell that they LOVE haters because they feel really hurt that they are hated?
Then there's the whole "Keep hating, you're making me famous." Who wants to be famous for being hated? We all fucking hate Hitler and he's pretty goddamn famous. Gaddafi and Saddam were pretty much universally hated and now they were killed by the people that hated them! I gotta guess that people who "Love haters" really are just scared of people.
This album is just plain fun. Granted, it's along the lines of some of my favorite one album bands The Blackout Pact or Voice in The Wire, but I have the feeling a band like this has a little more staying power. This is the kind of band you go to a show for: Rowdy, loud and all Rock and Roll. Their Album The Dangers of Standing Still is a joy ride that you could blast in your car or put it on as the anthem of going out and drinking with your friends. Remember, the album is FUN. It's not an existential experience or something else life affirming. It is more based in the fun sector of music. Pick it up, it's fucking great.
EDIT: "Spinning in Circles is a Gateway Drug" was released in 2010, but it's on their 2011 album as well. Make of that what you will, I'm still counting it! The song is that good!
I don't enjoy people saying in the youtube comments that it's another "pop punk band" when it's clear this is the only song they've heard by them. They're more of a straight up rock band like Dinosaur Jr. or a Hold Steady with less instruments. Rock bands have more midtempo songs too, some of them even have pop punk-ish songs (The Hold Steady's "Constructive Summer" comes to mind). Needless to say, I can't wait for a Cheap Girls/Hot Water Music tour. That will rock fucking hard.
The difference between men and women on the internet:
If there is a hot girl in any capacity that has a comment section, a guy will say the most disgusting shit ever to them no matter what the consequences.
If there is a hot guy in any capacity that has a comment section, a girl will say something cryptic and nervous sounding, then say the most disgusting shit ever on the tumblr they made dedicated to them.
Every pop punk band, good or bad, has the capability of making a great pop punk song.
(I like the demo version better)
Most pop punk bands can write at least ONE song (a lot of these bands have made many) that is just pure pleasure for the ears. They hit on all the cylinders that make a pop punk song so fucking soothing. Find me a pop punk band that doesn't have a least one song that just makes you air guitar, sing along or dance and I'll show you a band that doesn't know what they're doing.