Even after destroying me you still couldn't tell me you didn't love me anymore..
It makes me laugh and smile. When you do those things that prove to me what I've known all along. Prove you still think about me, us. I mean I'm okay now. I won't say it didn't hurt, that it doesn't sting sometimes. Yet, something that big that changes you wholey to the core you treat as if it was nothing, but you still talk about it.. You're not fooling anyone. You wonder why people don't believe you. But we both know the truth. We both know how it ended and how you were always good at forcing yourself. 2 years wasn't nothing. It got you to where you are now. Whether that be the wrong place or right only time will tell. Do us both a favor and stop acting like it was nothing because you're making it obvious it was much more then that. You shouldn't be thinking about the past when you have so much "future" going on. This wasn't my choice and I fought with everything I had. Literally. I had my regrets which are now just dying stars but yours only seem to be getting brighter. You can't say something when you don't believe it with all your heart.
I haven't written in a long time. No need. Worked on myself. Been becoming a better me like I needed and should have been for you. True love never dies just gets replaced with look alikes. You left me with only one option so I took it and have only looked back as much as my heart allowed. You're still there lost in the folds, happy thoughts I can't quite hold. Tucked away with everything I can. Like a coal smoldering in the back of your mind. Give it any oxygen and it'll flare up that fire you've tried so hard to put out. Replace.
"I'll be seeing you"
I know you avoid seeing me just as much as I with you. Because like everything else we both know (we knew each other too well) when that day comes I'm sure your heart will finally tell your head what a mistake you've made.
Mine already did. You just always held out the longest..
Just got a preview taste of what's to come from their new EP that's dropping in Nov..
I've written many a blog about this band and I will gladly write many more. If you like or have heard of Stages and Stereos you're in for a treat. I can't say much more because I was sworn to secrecy. But a little hype wouldn't hurt.. muwahahahaha
Haven't written a blog for a while, but this definitely deserved one. Have been one of my favorite bands since 08/09 and will forever be.
I feel you'll be hearing a lot more about and from these guys in the near future. Second time around is definitely the charm for these strapping young lads. Don't be one of those people that are late to the party. They're going to be making a huge splash.
For fans of Mayday Parade typeish catchy rock/pop goodness. Daniel's got a voice and the music is awesome.
When you start to realize that you had it right.. Yeah there were things I could have worked on, did better, but I wasn't given the chance. But everything they realize now I had already been doing. Just shows me even more that it takes two and I wasn't the only reason things didn't work out when they could have and should have. I had a few things wrong, but I had a lot of it right. Especially the heart. Makes me see that it really is a choice.
Sleeping With Sirens - "James Dean and Audrey Hepburn"
I know one day it'll hit like a ton of bricks.
I think I'm gonna get that line tattooed on my forearms. One line on each arm.
"they say that Love is forever" "your forever is all that I need"
The Early November used to be one of my favorite bands of all time. I remember having a mix with them Finch, The Starting Line and Blink 182 back in like 7th grade.
I remember downloading music for hours at a time from Kazaa Lite. The first time my home computer crashed and I lost everything... Thousands of songs and music videos, stand up and stuff.
The Early November bring back a lot of memories. I was sad when they left.
Just heard their new album.. Shouldn't be out for a while now, but wow. I didn't expect to like it as much as I am. Especially after first listen. They grew with me, I guess I grew with them. I'm not a jaded fan. I realize bands grow and change and I'm glad they do. Definitely when It's in a good direction.
I can't wait to add this album to my collection. Just picked up a physical of the new Sleeping With Sirens EP. Amazing.
Got it at Warped yesterday. Have to say it was an amazing time. Probably one of the best I've been to. EVen tho Yellowcard didn't play for some reason.. Lame
Got to see Miss May I, Bayside, Senses Fail, ATL, NFG, Sleeping With Sirens, Memphis May Fire, Pierce the Veil, TBS, The Used among a few others. I have to say that's a pretty badass day of concert going. Got mad sunburned haha but it's already faded and I'm brown. I told people I get brown and they didn't believe me until I showed them haha. I just don't get a lot of sun..
I guess I'll update later. I always just jot shit down.
The Early November - "Tell Me Why"
Edit: Oh yeah it's been officially 6 months since I've had a soda. My New Year's resolution was to give it up for a year. Half way there. Mark it off my bucket list I guess haha. Finish a NY resolution. It's not that hard to do, anything for that matter. Just gotta want to.
I absolutely love this line. Almost as much as, "I was constructed for you and you were molded for me"
It holds so much weight in that one sentence to me. I meant that with all my heart.
I'd love to get this tattooed on me. Or with someone I really care about. They get the first half and I get the second. I love this song and band. One of tIhe bands I'm looking forward to seeing most at Warped Tour
Their new acoustic EP is perfect.
If you were a movie, this would be your soundtrack.
This and the new Pierce the Veil are hitting me perfect right now. Love them and needed them.
I'm really starting to like someone. It's kinda of weird and scary.. Haha fuck.
It's been awhile since I've written anything worth some thing. Went and returned from Washington DC. 26 hour road trip. Was an experience. I'm proud to be an American. Sounds stupid but seeing all that stuff the monuments and white house makes you appreciate where you came from and our history. But yeah it was a great time. Another escape in a sense..
I just lost my grandpa two months ago and his wife my grandma whose had alzhiemer's for the last 13 years recently took a fall and isn't doing well. I'm probably gonna lose her to pretty soon. She has water on her brain and isn't doing too well. It's hard. Especially after losing him. The way she looks at me. She knows me and knows she loves me more than anything but can't remember my name.. It's just hard.
This had been one of the toughest years of my life. I feel like I've been through a lot. I've already lost two people that meant everything to me and now I'm losing a third all within three months. I just hope things change. Start to look up. I love you grandma.
I'm the most optimistic person I know. My buddy Devan told me last night that "I genuinely care about everyone. That I have a huge heart". It made me feel good he sees that in me. Others have said that but when he did it meant a lot. I don't like burdening people with my problems or issues. It's just me I'm independent. It spills over into everything and it's not always a good thing but I feel like it makes me strong and weak at the same time.
Idk I trust things will work out. They always have a way of doing just that.
I still have my music. Wrote a lot of new stuff recently. Outlet I guess.
I'll edit this later since I usually write it from my phone.
Hate is a very strong word. The counter balance to Love. If you have to tell yourself something it's apparent you're not sure. I know this decision will come back to haunt you. I make myself hate you when I don't. Just the things you've done and choices you've made..
You can only act fake for so long.
"How did I think you were Heaven when you put me through Hell"
This has been a long time coming.. I've needed to get away especially after what had happened over the last months.. Like a wound that never fully heals. I can be as calloused and detached from the world as I want but what good would that bring when the "stitch mending the break" is so easily pulled apart. Washington is my cure. I've been cured, but this is my fix. Finally getting to see my little brother, really my best friend who's like a brother to me. Literally made my heart smile again. And not to mention the situation I'm in with someone I really care about at the moment. It's just you can only take rejection so many times.. Not really rejection just more not now and I understand why. But I just spent half a year chasing the love of my life who is marrying someone else.. If that doesn't destroy you then you're not a person. I'm done chasing. I don't have the will. I just finished coming back from what felt like the dead. Climbed out of Hell. Standing on my own two feet again.
I gave it everything I had left and I guess a break will do me and her good. (not talking about the same girl) So Washington is my cure, mixed with alcohol and bad decisions with my two best friends. She's gone for the summer and we both don't want to do long distance. It's just hard when you really start to feel again for someone and they can't. So hear's to hoping.. But for now I will be happy that I have my best friend back for now and that for this brief time I won't be anything else but just that. Happy.
The Spill Canvas - "My Vicinity" & "Whiskey Dream Kathleen"
But I know I'll never be alone. Because you'll live with this forever too. A mark that can never be erased or forgotten.. Trust me, I've tried.
I'm not really one to get into hardcore/metal bands.. About the hardest I listen to is A Day to Remember. Which is nothing if you really think about it. But the other day my best buddy Rob threw on some new stuff that he had just gotten into too. I've heard of these guys before, but never gave them a chance. I usually just lumped all those hardcore bands into a biased category of music I'd never listen to.
But for some reason like so many other bands at certain times it just hit me at the right time. Full force. I absolutely love this band. Memphis May Fire and their last release called The Hollow. It's pretty hard, but I love the clean vocals. Especially his voice. I also love that I can actually understand what the screamer/growler is saying. Most the time it's so bad I can't understand half the crap that is coming out of the screamers mouth.
This is just what I needed I think. A little different then I'm used to, but I'm always up for a change and this is a good one. Not like I'm gonna start loving hardcore music. I just like being able to listen to a band like this then shoot to Earth, Wind and Fire, then be in the mood for The Spill Canvas or Jazz haha. I love music and I'm glad I found a new appreciation for this type of music and definitely this band. I gotta see them live now on Warped. Just another band to add to the list of bands I want to see this year. I think the count is 14. This year is probably gonna be the best year I've ever been.
"The Unfaithful" & "The Haunted"
Edit: It's cool to see my blog up on the charts. Maybe one day I won't be just one the one with the most blog posts, but also most views. I'm getting up there. Almost 70k. That's awesome.
So today I was hanging with my buddy Rob and our friend Sean aka (Asian Sean). Known him since middle school. Pretty cool guy. So we get on the topic of Astrology and lately I've been finding it very interesting. Idk why just have. So I was learning a lot of new stuff I'd never even known or thought about before. He's kind of into an told me I was a straight capricorn because I was born right in the middle, not near either ends really. And found out my moon is Scorpio which means that's my personality "at night" or how I act. Essentially my other side. So I start looking stuff up which I've posted beneath. It just blew my mind how similar I am to both Capricorn traits and some of Scorpios. It's quite crazy to see how I get some from both of the signs. Super interesting if nothing else. I still can't believe how well both signs suit me. Then we started talking about people and their signs and relating it to their behavior and it was cool cause a lot of it made sense and clicked. Makes ya think. But yeah it was just a good deep talk. I love having those haha. The first one is pretty spot on. The second is just interesting to see some of Scorpios ways. I'm by no means a astrology nut. Just something cool to learn about, look into.
I can't explain how excited I am for the new Spill Canvas record and the new Yellowcard record. Along with many others that we will be getting this year. It's a great year for new music in my eyes. A lot of my favorite bands are releasing albums. And so far I couldn't be more stoked from what I've heard.
The songs that The Spill Canvas have released so far are excellent and Gestalt comes out tonight. It's already past midnight, but I'm guessing that's Pacific time. I know it's gonna be absolutely amazing. One of my favorite bands.
Now as for Yellowcard. Their new single is absolutely badass as hell. Super catchy. Love the vocals and lyrics and everything. The melody and chorus are killer. I'm actually listening to it again for the 5th or so time as I write this. I absolutely loved When You're Through Thinking Say Yes, but already this song as me more hyped than I was for that album. I feel like this is gonna be Ocean Avenue's little brother, but just as huge and amazing as that album came to be for many people. They're back and I can't wait to hear it in it's entirety. Especially that song with Patrick Stump from Fall Out Boy and the one with all the guest singers.
Getting me even more excited to see them on Warped Tour this year. One of the bands I'm looking forward to seeing most.
I'm sure I'll post my impressions and thoughts on TSC later and probably Yellowcard at some point.