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Take This To Your [Headphones]
Wholehearted
01/16/09 at 01:11 PM by Miss Heartcore
It feels good to spend an entire day laughing with co-workers, new friends, and people you care about.

It makes you forget about everything else that's going on in your world and actually enjoy the moment.

I went to bed with my cheeks hurting from happiness.








I need more of these days.
Tags: Co-workers, AP friends, laughing, happiness, life.
2 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share
Rest Well my friend.
12/29/08 at 12:34 PM by Miss Heartcore
I guess I couldn't finish out 2008 without another thing knocking me down.

My friend Kevin Collins passed away last night at the age of 24 due to cystic fibrosis. He was awaiting a lung transplant.

I don't know which part is more depressing,

the fact that he never really told anyone that he was sick

or

the fact that they had to sedate him so he wouldn't pull out his wires to end it all sooner.




This is the third classmate I've lost this year.
He was one of my closest buddies when I started college and later on left midway to be a DJ at several radio stations in New Jersey.

I'm sick of singing about tragedy. Please let 2009 come with some promise and hope of something great.

Until then,

Kevin, I hope you are well wherever you may be.
Kevin Collins
September 23, 1984 - December 28, 2008


Tags: Kevin Collins, Friend, death, personal.
4 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share
Getting in the Spirit.
12/22/08 at 11:54 PM by Miss Heartcore
I know most people have heavy hearts right now with this economy, weather, family, and relationship issues.

In my house, I'm pretty much the only person with Christmas Spirit. I'm the only one willing to decorate the tree and fill the house with Christmas cheer.

This year I asked Sam to come over and help me. I knew he would bring some cheer and help with the cause.
He was indeed a great help. I just feel bad for not providing Santa hats and hot chocolate.

Thanks again buddy.

Now I can curl up on my couch in the dark with just the lights from the tree and my favorite animated Christmas globe.

I enjoy the quiet.



Tis the season.


A personal favorite of mine:



Tags: Christmas time, decorating, friends, Have yourself a merry little christmas.
5 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share
At a loss.
12/03/08 at 11:04 PM by Miss Heartcore
My college releases a Newsletter just about every season. I particularly love the Alumni "Where are they now" section to see what people are up to.

This summer I saw that two people I had numerous classes with, Dan and Heather, were finally engaged after four years of dating.
I laughed to myself at the appropriateness of the situation. They were both intelligent people, borderline nerds. It was so fitting. They actually made it through and could co-exist lovingly in the real world.
My relationship didn't, but perhaps it's for the best.
A friend of mine even took a picture of the article and sent it to all of our friends with the caption:
"THEY'RE ENGAGED!".
I actually saved the text for awhile because of how silly the situation was.

Dan and Heather were their own separate entities, you couldn't help but with admiration. She was serious about her work in class; he was the kid who actually answered the question after the smartass in class was being obnoxious.

I remember seeing them share small, cute moments in the dining hall. It turns out that he wasn't so serious all the time and she gave him a reason to smile.

You could tell Dan had his life all set up. He was a DA on-campus for several years so you basically would see him at the desk every night. Dan had a girl that he loved, always worked hard in school, loved to work in his spare time and keep his life healthy and active. Overall, just had a good head on his shoulders.

------------------------------------------

Today I came home and decided to actually read the Fall edition of the school Newsletter. I flip to the "Where are they now" section and see a picture of Dan and Heather again.
I think, 'That's weird...why would they be re-announcing their engagement? I know they got her name wrong the first time...maybe it was just a typo'.

Here's what the article said:




He's been dead for months now.

My school just didn't post the news of their engagement until this summer and neglected to mention he had died in the post.

According to his facebook, which is now updated by his family:

Quote:
Our beloved son, brother and fiance, Dan was killed on May 11. He was hit by a car crossing the street in Ridgewood, NJ. We are heartbroken. We would love to hear from his friends and want to keep his spirit alive. We have set up a scholarship funds at the Bergen County Academies and at Monmouth U. Thank you for your kind words.

Andrea, Roger and Peter DeVries and Heather Miller

Donations can be sent to:
Monmouth University
Lucille Flynn
400 Cedar Avenue
West Long Branch, New Jersey 07764
Write that your donation is in memory of Daniel DeVries.

I'm at a complete loss for words.
I've been holding on to a false hope for months.
I thought maybe there was a happy handing for a long-standing couple from our class.

This is the second time one of my former classmates has died this year.
Both from getting hit by a car.

What is this all for?
No one really has the answer.

The mood is somber.
I am quiet.

There's nothing left but to reflect and pray for some inner peace.
Tags: Sad, Death, Friend, Life.
1 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
Epic Weekend was Epic
11/17/08 at 08:07 AM by Miss Heartcore


Things that I've wanted for two years became reality.
Things that I feared for two years became reality.

I talked too much
Drank too much
Sang too loud
Traveled too far
and probably could have smiled a little bit more.

I witnessed the best and worst in people.
I saw the worst of myself.

My mind and heart are still racing from all that's happened.

It's time for some change.
Let's make it happen.



I'm ready to take that big step
Start tearing off the layers I put up
Or is it too late to be
Anything but what I am
Identify the problem
Now let's see
If we can fix anything.

Tags: Alcohol, Shows, Music, Friends, Life
6 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
Lightning Bolts
11/10/08 at 09:57 PM by Miss Heartcore
All day I've been getting these headaches that feel like lighting bolts in the back of my head and eyes. It feel likes I've been banging my head against the wall.

I haven't been able to understand the difference between dream and awake for almost an entire year now.
It's a frustrating thought.

I can't tell the difference between friends and frauds either.
They all switch places eventually, at least for as short time.

Come tomorrow, I'll continue dreaming.
It's the only thing I've been good at this year.





I'm casually obsessed and I've forgiven death,
I am indifferent, yet (I am a total wreck)
I'm every cliche, but I simply do it best.





















My head still fucking hurts.
Tags: Stress, Family, Friends, Enemies, Personal, Life & the FOB
2 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood | Music
HOLY AWESOMENESS
11/06/08 at 08:23 AM by Miss Heartcore
Normally I hate to blog before 5PM but I went on Myspace and probably found THE greatest thing ever.

(For the record, I had a completely shitty night but this pretty much made up for it)

Anyway, please see these links first for reference:

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.p...post21052 661

http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.p...post21056 981


And now scroll down to what I found in my inbox today:


































































SCOOOOOOOOOORE!

Couldn't have timed it any better.
Tags: Tommy, Furthest Drive Home, Myspace, Perfect Friend Request
12 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
Inside Jokes amongst friends
10/28/08 at 10:47 PM by Miss Heartcore
This is something you'll never understand, but quite possibly the best thing I've been told all week.


Ben: i went to starbucks and i missedddd you soo bad
Ben: it made me miss you so much i bought a pack of those cigs i dont smoke





I miss him back. Things are sane when he's here.
Tags: Missing friends and hangouts.
1 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
Really Really Good...No, make that GREAT.
10/21/08 at 07:48 PM by Miss Heartcore
So Kirbie, otherwise known to you guys as AP_PUNK, was one of the first people that I made friends with on this site. He really is one of the nicest kids around and always makes sure to check in to see how I'm doing.

I've been really really down on my luck lately. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to catch a real break at all. However, there are some people out there who do whatever they can to try and help me.
Recently, Kirbie was reading my blogs and messaged me saying that he wanted to send me something. I was totally surprised by the gesture.

Well, Kirbie, I finally received your gift and it has really really just touched me. I read the letter at least three times over. Thank you so much for doing this. I can't wait to blast this in my car.

Tags: Kirbie, AP_Punk, Surprises, letters, great friends.
3 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood | Music
Left on my doorstep.
10/12/08 at 10:56 AM by Miss Heartcore
Last Friday I was walking home from the train station after a pressing day at work.
My mind was racing with a ton of conflicting thoughts that were really bringing me down...I was just not in the mood to socialize or do anything for the rest of the night.

As I stepped onto my porch I noticed a package addressed to me.
I opened it, full of curiosity, as to who would send me anything.
Enclosed was a handwritten letter and three cds with my name on it.

To my surprise a guy a know reminded me of a conversation we had to be pen pals. He took the time to make three mixed cds about life and us and tell me exactly how he felt.



I was completely stunned.
The cds are amazing...full of songs we've talked about, some songs I know, and songs I've never hear before but now love.

I hope that someone does something like this for you one day. I think we all could use a nice gesture like this.

With that, here's the track listing to cd one. I might post the rest in the future, but some things should be kept a little private.

Quote:
Taking Back Sunday- Your Own Disaster
The Starting Line- Island
Anthony Green- She Loves Me So
Brighten- We Are Birds
CocoRosie- Werewolf
Cold War Kids- We Used To Vacation
Days Idea- Ideas
The Format- She Doesn't Get It
Counting Crows- A Long December
This Providence- My Beautiful Rescue
The Dear Hunter- Red Hands
Death Cab For Cutie- Transatlanticism
Brighten- What She Really Wants
Tags: Letters, Happyness, Friends, Love
3 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
Celebration: 100 Blogs/100 Friends
10/07/08 at 07:15 PM by Miss Heartcore
So here I am, currently at my 100th entry with 100 AP "friends".
They always seem to be at a neck and neck race and now here they are--tied for once at such an important number for a person's lifetime.

With that being said, this blog was mainly supposed to be about how music plays a part in my life each and every day.
Somehow, my actual personal life has become intertwined in it. I really wanted to keep that part out because, after all, that's what my myspace blog is for. However, I usually am able to find a song to keep it somewhat on topic.

This website has become a strange presence in my life.
I have seen the best and worst of people on here. I've met some of the coolest, most legit people. I've tried to avoid the cruelest. I have even found my new job through contacts I made here. ( Thank you Josh Hay )

It took me awhile to get involved with most parts of this place. It started with my lurking the news for my radio show in college. Then I decided to jump into the forums, and eventually I got into the blog section. It wasn't until the first time I saw Gabe Saporta doin his thing Cobra style that I was inspired to write. Then I read something from here and was inspired to dig a little deeper below the surface. Also, a shoutout to Adrian Villagomez--he served as motivation for me to keep writing... I think it was all to impress him.

I'm not exactly sure who reads my blogs. I apparently have a decent amount of views. It shocks me because I've had a myspace blog for almost 5 years and I don't even have half as many views.
With that being said, I would like to thank you all for reading. I hope I've amused you in some way. I know you many of you have voiced your concerns or given me advice. I really, truly appreciate it.

I hope you keep coming back and find something of interest to you. I'm always looking for inspirational lyrics for any mood.

Danka.

I'll leave you with my two favorite things on the internet today.


WFUJERSEYJON sent me this:
http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1762540


My dad sent me this:



Enjoy.
Tags: Blogs, Friends, AP
12 Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood
This is How We Lived.
06/30/08 at 10:15 PM by Miss Heartcore
I've been thinking, let's get out of this party yeah let's flee
These kids never meant much to me
I'll get this started, first shot is the hardest to deal with
So let's sober up on the drive home
Let's go some place where the cops will leave us alone

And we'll stay out all night
'Cause rest is for the dead
So we won't stop, no we won't stop
Raise your glass high
And let's throw out a toast to the road, where ever we go
We'll hold friends close and never want to go home


I've been hearing you've been talking to my man all wrong
Giving us looks all night long
Get your coat, time to go, hit the road
You can find us hiding in headstones

So let's sober up on the drive home
Let's go some place where the cops will leave us alone
'Cause tonight is like you and I
So alive and too young, too young to die


Stay out all night
'Cause rest is for the dead
So we won't stop, no we won't stop
Raise your glass high
And let's throw out a toast to the road, where ever we go
We'll hold friends close and never want to go home

Let's break the bottles in well lit parking lots
I know it's not much but it's all I've got
We'll break the bottles in well lit parking lots
I know it's not much but it's all we've got







Maybe it's corny, but College was the best four years of my life.
I lived, for the most part, by my own rules
I hung out with my best friends every day
Took part in all of my favorite clubs on campus
and stayed up all night, nearly every night with my best friends.

This is what we had,
and these guys captured it.
Tags: Stay Out, Hit the Lights, College, Friends, Life
No Comments | Add a CommentPermalink | Share | Mood | Music
Don't Break The Ice
06/13/08 at 02:43 PM by Miss Heartcore
All we really need is hope that there could be a possibility
Once you try and run with it, then it's all a gamble.

Maybe we shouldn't try to take things so personally.
Maybe we were better off as curious strangers.

Well fuck it, I'm already hooked.
You've got anything left?
Tags: Life, lust, friends, strangers, you, me, and dupree?
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