My ace 9 beats your 7 4, darling.
But I'm not so sorry to say.
I'm glad your finally out of this game
because it's been gettng too hard to play.
I'm tired of always bluffing you
and you fold at the very first turn.
I know we both agreed on this
but I'm hoping you will finally learn.
Learn something from my bitterness
to holding hands and walking.
I know it may be hard for you
to hear I despise you talking.
Your fake flashy smile just makes me sick
so ugly and trying to please.
So walk around, just know we know.
Your mask is like a disease.
Tell me again, honey, just how you feel.
I just don't even know how this can be real.
It's thirteen o'clock and we've had our fill,
and the ink is running over and adding to spill.
So blot these wounds that have cut so deep.
And jump on this rock and we'll take the leap.
I asked you. Did you hear me?
You changed to anger, but you just couldn't see.
And all towards me.
Your lies echo in my ears.
They changed my dreams to fears.
A release of your fist, and release of your words.
It all hurts the same...it all turns to pain.
With the fallen of my eyes,
I look at you with much despise.
If you can't hear me say this,
Can you hear me scream it?
The worst kind of Monsters are the ones we once called friends.
People change, but Monsters can never change.
Once upon a current time,
Everyone thought they were doing fine.
But they were cracking, fake, and frayed.
Calm on the surface, but inside dismayed.
From day to day, so uninspired.
Using the lights to undo tired.
But only the Real could see the Fake,
See the dark of their sorry mistakes.
The Fake drink and dance into late in the night.
The Real know better, but the Fake think it's right.
They think it is living, living the life of a star.
But when their drink runs out all they'll have is a scar.
Notice the lights, how it draws them in?
Their lives are gone, so full of sin.
Hair done up, acting so dead and fake.
They live it up, for an unknown sake.
Didn't you notice the throw-up in your purse?
You honestly, darling, couldn't look any worse...
So just go out and have your fun.
Because knowing yourself, you're never quite done.
So all this drama, within you instill
Remember, sweetie, that your glamour will kill.
The air. So sweet and crisp and clean.
This is what it should be.
Yet we are harboring our own pollutants and posions.
And we know this is everything it shouldn't be.
Our desires for peace and equality.
Spread it, as it should exist everywhere.
Heightened states of paranoia and distrust continue to build.
End it, as it should exist nowhere.
On the day the world ends, the sun still rises.
We expect what has always happened before.
So as everything goes wrong because it can
Do you believe it is happening now?
They call them friends.
But do they really help the pain?
Enemies and allies
can look much the same.
But I'm glad I can trust you
to be there for me.
So lock tight the door,
as you have the key.
Do you feel my smile through the
cold and the rain?
Let it wash upon you and help
heal your pain.
You first told me
of how you really felt.
Only then did you notice
we both needed help.
You saved me, I save you...
We open the door
to let the wind through.
It blows not between us,
for we stand too close now.
We are both taken by eachother,
And we don't know how.
This is the first time I've been on for SOO LONG. It's nice. So I have straight A's right now, NO BIG DEAL. Actually, it is a big deal for me. But I'm very deserving of them, because I've lost a few close friends in the process of doing nothing but homework... it's a sad thing.
I've also come to realize that grades don't get me out of trouble at all. Last year, I was always grounded for grades. c's mostly. And this year, I work my butt off to get all a's, and I'm STILL getting in just as much trouble as I did last year. Makes NO sense.
"cookiepainter" and I are together now. We'll see how long it lasts, while we both know that he is moving away for summer, and we won't be going to the same school next year. Life can be unfair, but I know that God has it all taken care of.
I choked on honey today, and let me tell you all something: that stuff really burns. Idk how it happened exactly, but I was laughing about something Meghan said, and it was sticking to my throat and I couldn't breathe. but whatever, I'm still here.
His writing brings tears to me eyes,
but I still always smile.
If only you all knew how I felt for a little while.
It can't be love, I barely know this man...
But perhaps I can pretend.
And before this World's hourglass runs out of sand, he will know.
Oh, he will know.
I AM OFFICIALLY UNGROUNDED!!! WOOOHOOO BABY!!!!! I can finally leave the house to go someplace other than to dance or piano lesson. hehehe
I can dance with the butterflies, and feel them on my inside whenever I see you.
I can feel alive when I breathe.
There is no longer the heavy emptiness that surrounds me in the cold that doesn't go away.
The cold, sick disease had contaminated everything around me, but now the sunlight wards it away like a cross to a vampire.
I no longer need the blankets that were my best friend, for now they are a burden upon my shoulders.
I see color,
I taste the sweet air of summer,
I can run, for I have the strength,
I can talk, for I have the voice.
The medicine cabinet is now again an evil that I wish to never need to confide in.
I no longer have the flu!!!
hahah I wrote that I lay in my bed, dying...or so I thought. I hate the flu!!!!!!
I wish I could meet the inventor of Dayquil, and SHAKE THAT PERSON'S HAND. That little pill is 100% pure AMAZING. Once I took a few of those I could actually breathe. It's the best feeling ever.
Take in every chance you get, the air is so sweet to the lungs. A necessary necessity. That is non-nonsensical.
so, pretty much... I burnt all the tastebuds off my tongue. hehe i had a contest with one of my friends with this weird, carbonated...weird, imported gum. Whoever could let it sit on their tongue the longest, won.....unfortunately, I won. lol. But hey, I told my mother we should plan to go have dinner at grandma's. hahahah (she ALWAYS makes brussel sprouts with this weird butter sauce...eeeew) but it makes her soooo happy when we come to visit, so it's a perfect opportunity.
So next week is SPRING BREAK!!! not going to mexico, or florida or anything... probably just gonna go to oceanside to surf with the team, but idk yet.
at school right now, so just BORED. oh I've been listening to Saosin like C R A Z Y. i loooooove them!!!!
I'M OFFICIALLY UNGROUNDED!!! Omgosh last night I couldn't stop smiling and then I ran around the neighborhood I had so much energy. haha But omgosh I'm kinda pissed b/c I forgot my friend kevin's birthday card at home...
yesterday I tried to make some kool aid to take to school, but rather than making it in a pitcher and THEN putting it into my nalgene, I just tried to make it in my water bottle. OMG I TOTALLY didn't add enough SUGAR. It was like...idk. It was super bitter and sour. But I tricked alot of people into drinking some, then got some laughs at their reactions. hahahahaha it was funny.
So I ended up finishing that essay, which is due today. I hope he doesn't ask me to read it or anything, cuz I still don't even understand the story...lol. but WHATEVER
this pretty much ROCKS that the school hasn't put up a websense block for this site...mwahaha.
so this is interesting...im doing this from my psp, so please forgive my all lowercase.
im still SUPER upset about my stupid itunes!!! i cant listen to the used cd i just freakin bought! ugh! so aggravating.
oh. i decided that im gonna make lasagna tm night. OMFGOODNESS!!!!!! MY MOM IS GIVING ME MY PHONE BACK TM! i havent had it or sent a single message since new years...yeah. thats a record... but hey, i can live w/out my cellular telephone. haha. ow i just choked on my gum...