's Blog |
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| Life is more then this
| | Rant pt 2 |
So i spill my heart out, and tell you whats up and what bugs me and shit. And you fucking go right back and do that shit, like i dont know what is seriously wrong with you, but i think you just enjoy stepping all over my heart. Im over it
Fucking over it | |
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| | Rant |
| I've never been so bored in my life, I guess its because I have never had this much free time in my life. 2 months into my 4 month summer with no job, one class, and it sucks. Im out of money, so i can't do shit, and my life feels like its slowly stalling. And to top that all off, Im still in love with the same girl who enjoys playing games. I think she has decided she is over me and is trying to push me away, which i understand. I've fucked up way more then i should have, and I would totally understand if she wanted to leave, but its not that easy. Especially when i just sit all day at home and think about her. I dont understand how me telling her she was the only person that mattered and I loved her equalled no more nightly phone calls and txt messages throughout the day. I understand you work, i understand your busy, but please understand im not. I wish i could find someone or something to fill the hole you are leaving in my life right now, but nothing does. I love how when your talking to someone else you tell me im extremely important as a friend and as a best friend and you dont wanna lose me. But yet you can't make time for me now when I want you, its just plain ridiculous. I love you Allie, why are you doing this to me? | |
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| | Rant |
| I've never been so bored in my life, I guess its because I have never had this much free time in my life. 2 months into my 4 month summer with no job, one class, and it sucks. Im out of money, so i can't do shit, and my life feels like its slowly stalling. And to top that all off, Im still in love with the same girl who enjoys playing games. I think she has decided she is over me and is trying to push me away, which i understand. I've fucked up way more then i should have, and I would totally understand if she wanted to leave, but its not that easy. Expecially when i just sit all day at home and think about her. I dont understand how me telling her she was the only person that mattered and I loved her equalled no more nightly phone calls and txt messages throughout the day. I understand you work, i understand your busy, but please understand im not. I wish i could find someone or something to fill the hole you are leaving in my life right now, but nothing does. I love how when your talking to someone else you tell me im extremely important as a friend and as a best friend and you dont wanna lose me. But yet you can't make time for me now when I want you, its just plain rediculous. I love you Allie, why are you doing this to me? | |
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| | Redundant |
Im bored at work, this isnt the first time, nor will it be the last time, but i've only been here for an hour this time, like wtf.
So i was supposed to write a blog and go through the alphabet about all the reasons this girl frustrates me, bothers me, makes me cry,
i hate my manager
but in good news
i leave for fsu in 3 weeks, and 2 months after i get there the easycore tour comes to tallahassee.
four year strong, a day to remember, ISHC
Its gonna be awsome | |
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| | B |
I mean honestly
The one thing in my life I truly look forward to is shows. I love shows. The world melts away and all I think about is me and the band. Sometimes the songs remind me of a certain place, or a certain someone or situation, but those are few and far between. My emotions go up and down like a rollercoaster because of the music I am listening to.
My friends fucking suck.
They all bailed tonight.
Not only did my best friend, my girl im talking to, the girl im in love with bail, she doesnt even have the brains to relize im extremely hurt right now about it, and would rather go swim with her friends and go to her friends house not even worrying about how i am, my wellbeing, or anything like that.
You make me feel like shit and make me want to kill myself, I honestly feel that way.
I call you, your at his house, why would you not think I need to talk to you, honestly, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Fine I treated you like shit, I understand, but seriously? You dont hear from me for 2 hours and dont believe something is wrong? Your messed up.
I cant handle this, I refuse to handle this.
oh and by the way, FUCK my so called friends. | |
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| | A |
I've spent 3 years building of my tollerance from you, to keep you close enough to love you but not close enough to fall in love. You fucked me over, ruined my emotions, and I had to put myself together, and I did.
I became someone new, a asshole to everyone but at the same time showing compassion at all times. I grew to love my friends, but you stayed there.
I worked for 3 years to keep you away from tearing apart my heart, you broke the wall tonight.
One night, I felt this comming for a few weeks now, but we were fine 4 days ago.
I finally told you the words you wanted to hear, that I wanted you, to love you, do be in a relationship again. You did not even have a reply.
There were two ways I delt with you tearing out my heat last time, I refuse to do the first way ever again as i vowed no girl was worth my blood.
I am stuck between two things that piss me off, annoy me, break me, make me feel like shit.
One of them holds my monitary income, so therefore my life.
The other holds my heart.
Both are shitting on me right now.
What can I do?
I refuse to fall asleep in tears over you again
Looks like I have many more late night runs to look forward to.
T.I. | |
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