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| The Remnants of Uncertainty...
| | 20x30 (One Year Later) |
So last year I put together a list of 20 things I wanted to do before I turned 30. Well, here I am one year later and let's see if I've made any progress.
Quote: In honor of turning 20 (and mainly because I need to make this b-day mean something because 20 is a pretty useless age) I'm going to make a list of "20 things I want to do before I'm 30". I call it my 20X30 list. Don't make fun of me, I may not be an aspiring actor like many of friends are, but I still have the dreamer in me. You're about to find out just how motivated I actually am.
Without further ranting, here is my list:
20. Attend all the big Concerts: Bamboozle, Bamboozle Left, whatever else is out there. I used to go to shows all the time and I've recently started going regularly again, but I definitely need to go to these big ones sometime soon. |
Haven't gone to ANY shows this year. Though the plan is to head to the east coast for Bamboozle next year.
Quote: | 19. Attend ComicCon and the Sundance Film Festival: Hate to put these into the same category, but talk about the top entertainment festivals. These are events anyone can go to and enjoy, so I want to do it. |
Nope, haven't done this either. Though, ComicCon is still a possibility.
Quote: | 18. Run a Marathon: I know it's crazy, but this is a great way to stay healthy and having a goal like this will require months of training and focus. I really want to do it. |
Training for this currently, hope to do one by the end of this year.
Quote: | 17. Triathalon: Goes hand in hand with the Marathon. Might as well do one of these too. |
This will be the natural progression after my first marathon.
Quote: | 16. Go Bungie Jumping: I've been skydiving, this is naturally something I should try right? |
Quote: | 15. Go Rock Climbing: I'll probably do a smaller scale climb this summer with my friends, but I want to climb an actual mountain at some point. |
Well, I didn't do any rock climbing last summer... but I actually live with three of my friends now so maybe that changes this summer?
Quote: | 14. Go Hang Gliding: I'm quite the thrill seeker aren't I? You only live once, so why not put your life in danger to make it more exciting? |
I really want to do this.
Quote: | 13. Shark Diving: Not sure if it's called that, but It's when you get in a cage and lower yourself into a sea with sharks. I hear it's just breathtaking... and again, another risky thing. |
Do I think I'm immortal?
Quote: | 12. Go to a Superbowl: Preferably one in which the 49ers are playing, but it's the biggest sport event of the year, I have to go at some point. |
I don't expect to do this one until my late 20's.
Quote: | 11. Mardi Gras: It's just one of those events that is made for someone in their 20's. Besides, New Orleans is back and needs people to make it what it used to be! |
I was single back then, my desire to go to Mardi Gras is not as great as it was. Though it would still be a fun trip.
Quote: | 10. Casino Hoppin' in Vegas: I'm going to Vegas in a few weeks... but I'm sure it will be a bit better when I go with all the guys after I turn 21. Sports gambling, stay at a fancy hotel, do all the fancy expensive stuff, start drinking at 10am, just live it up. |
Well, I'm 21 now so this is possible. Will have to wait until we all have a bit more money. I do think this will happen sooner than later though.
Quote: | 9. Spring Break in Cancun: If I end up going to San Diego, this may happen sooner than I think. This is something I have to do in my early 20's or else I'll just look like a creeper. |
Again, not feeling this as much now. But we will see.
Alright, now for the big goals.
Quote: | 8. Study Abroad and Travel: If I end up going to UCSD, I plan on studying abroad my senior year, most likely for two quarters somewhere in West Europe. When I eventually go to grad school I'll probably study somewhere in Asia. I'm not expecting to see all of the world before I'm 30, but seeing as how I've only been to the Phillippines, Mexico, the West and East Coast of the U.S. and Hawaii in my first 20 years, I want to catch up a bit. |
Didn't end up at UCSD, but I still see myself heading to Europe either this summer (for a short stay) or next summer probably for a month.
Quote: | 7. Go on a Mission Trip: Those who know me know that I'm not religious. I'm a humanist though, so I believe in helping people. I have the same desire to help as anyone and I want to make a difference and live for someone other than myself. |
What sucks is that a person's charity is limited by their money and time. I have neither right now. I've been trying to organize charity events but this is something I want to do when I'm more stable.
Quote: | 6. Get my Undergraduate Degree: It's looking like that will be a B.A in Economics with a minor in Psychology and an International Certification to go with that. |
This is THE NUMBER ONE GOAL right now. I am working on cramming two years of classes into the next year so I can get this damn degree. 2010 or bust is my goal.
Quote: | 5. Get an MBA from a top 15 program: Pretty damn lofty goal isn't it? I like a lot of the east coast schools like NYU, Columbia, UPenn, and Chicago, but of course I'll look at Berkeley and UCLA too. This is one of the biggest goals of my life. I want an MBA before I'm 30 and I want to go to a pretty damn good school. |
This will definitely happen before I am 30. Count it.
Quote: | 4. Work at a good place: Considering most of my goals have been pretty specific, this one is very vague. The point is that I want to do something I love, which is anyone's dream isn't it? I just don't want to be stuck at Blue Shield the rest of my life. |
This is all relative. I just got promoted at Blue Shield. I will likely take the year off to finish my degree, but I wouldn't be against coming back as long as I came back as an analyst or some higher position like that. I'm done with process work and I am getting my degree so I can start to build my business/analytical/financial career.
Quote: | 3. Start a Business: I'm not looking for it to be very successful before I'm 30, but I want to get it rolling. I have many ideas: A Record Label, a Publishing Firm, some sort of internet company, a Venue, a Restaurant, etc. I just want to start something, what's the point of an MBA if you aren't going to do your own thing one day? |
Ideas are constantly floating in my head. I do not possess any capital to begin this, but I do have contacts that I know will be useful in the future. In this economy now though? Not likely. This is years down the road.
Quote: | 2. Publish a Book: One of the greatest goals of my life. I have three stories I'm working on that are in my head. I don't care if they are best-sellers or if they appeal to a very small market. I just want to see one of my books on the shelves and online before I'm 30. |
I got closer to finishing a story this year than I ever have. The main thing is that I need to sit and take some time to really make it good. My writing needs some work and I need a story that I can really make into something great. But this dream is nowhere near dead and will get done.
Quote: | 1. Live Well: Notice how I don't have marriage or kids as a goal? There are certain things in life that you can't force or plan. If I plan to be married before I'm 30, I'm just setting myself up. I don't want to rush myself into anything as serious as marriage just because of my age. My number one goal for the next decade is to just live. To not settle or fall into anything because it's easy. |
I like how profound I was. What is funny is how one person changes your perspective. I am in a relationship now and of course I always think optimistically, so now I see myself getting married before 30 and having kids after.
My priorities have definitely been adjusted a bit in the last year. My top 8 goals were pretty right on. I find that the ones before that are interchangeable. Also, I do not fret that I haven't really completed any of the goals in the last year. I've set the framework for many of them and I can see 2 or 3 being done by next year.
So what have I done in the last year?
Amazing trips to LA, finding the girl I've always wanted, moving into a place that actually feels like home, getting a promotion, 49ers game, Giants game, drinking with my friends, fall outs with family and reconciliations, growing up, maturing, enjoying the holidays again, making great friends, losing other friends, listening to great music and watching great shows, discovering new likes and dislikes, life-changing experiences.
So, list or not... it's been a great year.
Oh and btw, I'm 21 now... so uh, I can imagine things are gonna get better. | | Tags: 20x30, 21, goals, life, bucket list, year, personal |
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| | Older But Still Young |
Oh shit. I'm almost 21. You know what that means? Well aside from the copious amounts of alcohol I will consume next week, it is time for introspection galore.
Last year I remember I was gasping for some clarity. I needed a win, somewhere in my life. I felt lost, hopeless, lonely, worthless. My birthday changed all that. I started dating randomly, going out more, developing a plan to get out of here, having fun, feeling good. In July I left for San Diego. I felt alive. I was the quintessential adult/college student. I was free and in control of everything.
But I wasn't.
The rest of that story has been well-documented. I can't exactly see how I got here, but here I am. I find that the person I am now is much different. I feel like I finally just decided to grow the fuck up, for lack of a better phrase. The unrealistic expectations and dreams haven't faded, but they have evolved into realism. In the last year, I've finally seen enough of the many people who wander aimlessly chasing things that are ideal but not real. I kept trying to find my ideal world while trying to mask it as a hybrid between that and realism. I was kidding myself.
There are two lessons I've learned in the last year.
1) Life isn't going to wait for you. You have to take opportunities where you can get them. You take risks and you take hits but if the investments work out even half the time, it is well worth it. Starting over is fine, but eventually you have to run some sort of course or else you'll never be on track to anything. Life is a marathon, not a race. There is a long road to travel and altering the course too much just proves counterproductive.
2) As short and unpredictable as things are, there is no need to rush. I get it, the two lessons are a bit of a contradiction. But hear me out. I think the main reason I've been able to adapt some realism into my life finally is because I realized that I don't need to have everything I've ever wanted at the age of 21.
Yea, I'll admit that getting a degree is such a priority that I've dropped the notion of trying to recreate a college dorm life with no responsibility in a bustling city with culture and prestige in favor of a college that I can just simply fucking graduate from. But there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to go to Europe right now. I don't need to go to a fancy university for my undergrad degree. I don't need to be thinking about graduate school yet. Nope. The truth is that I sold that out 2 years ago. I just kept thinking that I was still a college kid when I've really been a full-time working-class citizen. The fact that I've even continued school full time is impressive.
I was at a college, living poor and free, accumulating debt and making good and bad memories. I came home for the summer, took a temp job in a corporate setting and a month later I was vying for a permanent position and opting out of the college life. I conceded to community college and kept myself happy with the notion that I would return to that life eventually.
But that idealism led me to costly mistakes. Fortunately for me, it also led me to the best situation I've ever been in. The truth is, I held out in the sell-out world I kept trying to get out of and found myself an amazing girlfriend, 3 awesome friends that I share the sickest bachelor pad with, a new found independence, a jump-start on my career that very few people have, and a general happiness.
I still work my ass off, and I still want better for myself. I haven't completely sold out. I'm not putting any dreams on hold, instead I am adapting. Why go to a college for the college experience when I'm not that person? No matter where I go I'll have to work or take a loan and power through anyway. I've never nor will I ever have the ability to just sit in an apartment eating pizza all day while decided whether I should go to class or not. No, I do my homework early because I know I'll be busy all week with other things.
The point is, there is still a fancy college out there for me. My undergrad degree will hopefully come sooner than I think. I'm positioning myself to have a steady place to live, a good education, and be an viable candidate in what will be an (hopefully) emerging job market. I've done all of this while throwing out the bad in my life and keeping the good. Tonight, I am happy. I got a new start without having to skip across the country and uproot my entire life. What's even better is that option will be there in a few years from now. And how old will I be then? 23? 24?
Yea, I have a lot of time left. | | Tags: personal, life, 21, job, college |
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