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Take This To Your [Headphones]
"Are You Better Off?"
11/02/15 at 09:07 PM by Miss Heartcore
A friend recently asked about this blog and what did it feel like to write regularly, knowing others were reading it.

Well, I guess I didn't really know. It didn't feel that big at the time. When I used to keep a blog on MySpace in college, and a few years after before it completely died off, people would reach out to me about what a wrote. It was a dramatic time because certain entires were brutally honest and feelings were hurt. Others liked to participate in the comments and it would generate good conversation.

This blog was a good followup for awhile. And as most things tend to happen, I found myself in a good relationship that made me very happy and work picked up, so it was hard to keep up. This site also changed drastically. Who was I even writing for?

I've been told more than a handful of times that I should start a real blog (now those are dwindling) or a YouTube channel (before those made people into celebrities) and now it seems so stressful. There's so much competition these days, it's almost too overwhelming to even try. And then there's the whole voice inside your head that continuously whispers, "Who cares? Who even cares what you have to say?" Good point.

But looking back at these entries, it's upsetting to see how little of my life has changed, even though I stopped writing for years. Like a standard soap opera, that story remains the same. There's a few new characters and some have left the show. There's been a couple of traumas and some people have passed on...but too much is still the same.

I want so badly for the not good stuff to change and the good stuff to stay for a long time, but life doesn't seem to work that way. Each year I demand that life will change for the better. Very few things do.

What does make me happy, however, is writing and I feel like I deny myself that luxury too much and too often. That is one thing I can control and one thing I plan to change, even if I'm not doing it here.

So maybe by this time next year, I may be at least a little better off.
Tags: life, life experiences, parks and rec, are you better off, reflections,
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Dismantle, Repair. Repeat.
03/09/11 at 02:57 PM by Miss Heartcore
I can follow you

Your heart beats just like I wanted it to

And you want it to

I can follow you.

- Young the Giant

I think things are going okay right now. I think I've found a legitimate reason to smile nearly every day.
I'm re-building.

In the last two years, I really had lost myself. I constantly felt like I was drowning...being swallowed up by negative influences around me. I kept trying to swim to the surface, but I was only able to tread water for so long. I didn't recognize who I was. I hated how I looked. I hated my daily routine. I felt like I was losing touch with friends. I got involved with guys that broke me down and drama that still stings to this day. I felt like person who normally lit up a room had had her spark burned out. I think I reached a point where I nearly had lost everything that, at one time, made me feel alive and invincible. It is only when you have lost it all, that you truly have everything to gain. Two or three times in my life I've gone through a serious personal overhaul. I ultimately shed the wounded, broken version of my former self, only to fix myself for the better.

Perhaps it sounds trite, but, I'm trying to make things work. I'm in my mid-twenties and it's time to start solidifying my strengths and abilities while still managing to enjoy this little thing called youth. Of course there are the ups and downs: health issues, family issues, friend issues, relationship issues, money issues. There are nights when I can't sleep and days when it takes every ounce of my existence to get out of bed. Nothing is truly perfect...perhaps just ideal at times. But that's just how it is. Ups and downs molding and shaping us. The bad showing us what the good really looks like and the good making us forget, even for a moment, what the bad is really like. So I'll try and take it all in, as best as I can. One day at a time.

I'm no optimist, just someone who's currently inspired.
Tags: young the giant, friends, relationships, family, personal, life,
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09/09/10 at 11:09 AM by Miss Heartcore
I don't even know where to start...

Typical bratty 17 year olds with no manners or talent who eventually turn on the audience, the judges, and then each other.

Tags: X-Factor, YouTube, Videos, lolWUT
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Listen, trick, I've had all I can handle.
01/31/10 at 09:50 PM by Miss Heartcore
So sick, so sick of being tired.
And oh so tired of being sick.
We're both such magnificent liars.
So crush me baby, I'm all ears.
So obviously desperate, so desperately obvious.
I'll give in one more time and feed you stupid lines all about "its basic..."

Not sure why, but these lyrics made me think of you.

It's not necessarily a good or bad thing,
It's more of a, "Hey, you're on my mind" kind of thing.

In other news,
This is one of the few albums that can cure my weekly angst.
Tags: Friends, Taking Back Sunday, "You Know How I Do"
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It must really Suck to be Miss Heartcore right now.
01/18/10 at 11:45 PM by Miss Heartcore
I'm a mess, such a wreck, donít forget about it.
I drag myself through the dirt just to feel a little closer to the ground,
Because I've always had my head up in the clouds.

Welcome to 2010.

Look at us.
Remember when we were relevant?
It's weird to wake up to a new decade knowing that everything that once worked for you has now evolved and you have to take a new approach just to keep things in order.

All the previous mentioned boys are either married, dating some bitch, groping your best friend, fake dating someone to piss me off, friend zoning me...The usual.
But somehow, I'm still getting stalked and noticed at random locations and/or random media sites, so I guess I have that going for me.

So keep your mind at a rest
I'll never let the two of us be friends
Does it hurt?

Still wondering if you ever think about me every once in awhile.
You've done a great job of disappearing, so I'm not trying to wake you up since you seem to enjoy the sleep.
I'm getting better at not missing you.
I guess I'd be lying if I said that I've encountered someone that can keep me interested in conversation the way the old you used to.
But I guess, these simple conversations leave me with less anxiety.
Keepin it simple so I can sleep at night.
A Fair Trade.

You must have the must have moment in your hands
And its sad to think that this season I'm gonna change
Just not face to face
It ain't broke, so don't fix it

Being a free agent for the first time in 7 years is strange.
There's lots of freedom but, at the same time, a huge unknown.
It's just weird to not have anyone on the other end this time around.
Meanwhile, this it the year that my best friend gets married.
She's found her very own Jim Halpert and I couldn't be happier for her.
And I guess this is the first time I'm wondering if it's ever going to happen for me.
I kind of never cared/never wanted it until I saw it happening to the people that I'm closest to.
But that's another blog for another time.

Until then, there's bachelorette parties to plan, shows to attend, new album releases to look forward to.

Hey, Cassino is playing a 21+ show in Nashville on February 28th.
May have to take a trip because I've been wanting to see this band for quite some time now.

Hope everyone else is enjoying the new year so far.
Either way, I know I'm down,
but definitely not out.
Tags: 2010, Life, Relationships, Four Year Strong, You Me At Six
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I'm through choking and suffocating...
09/27/09 at 10:46 PM by Miss Heartcore
...on alter egos and alter motives
which weigh you down and take control of
the way you are and the things that you need.

I can't tell if I originally sought you out because I was lost and drowning, or if I begin to feel that way once we became acquainted.
The past two years have been at least 75% regretful. I'd change nearly everything.
I have a terrible habit of destroying the things I care about and thus why I've made it a point to not put my full heart into things anymore...at least not in the past year. (at this point, if my calculations are correct.)
Lessons are to be learned from all of this.

Movin on
Movin on

This is only Part One.
Tags: "...no I don't know you anymore and it's sadder than the saddest movie"
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Take my advice and boy run a mile.
08/06/09 at 08:21 PM by Miss Heartcore
Add This to the list of songs that hit too close to home. Sorry in advance?

Finders keepers the whole thing is a lie
You won't find her, cos she's too hard to find
Take my advice and boy run a mile.

And have another drink and then think this one over
You dig yourself a grave everyday you're not sober
Do you see what I mean
I have your best interests written all over me.
I could never be what you mean,

Finders keepers will you keep me in mind
I like secrets, cos they keep me in line
Old habits die hard, but I am too young to die...
Tags: Finders Keepers, You Me At Six, Boys, Relationships, Personal, Life
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Time to forget.
05/13/09 at 03:22 PM by Miss Heartcore

I just hold on to the old you now.

The possibility we dreamed up between sleep and awake was probably better than anything reality could have given us.

Fade out.
Tags: The old you and me, Things that were ruined, Life
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You feel it?
05/06/09 at 07:17 PM by Miss Heartcore
It's that lost, empty feeling that leads me to drink and turn up Promise of Redemption as loud as humanly possible.

I'll drive around and soak it in and let my brain conjure up all memories: good and bad.

I'll question every move and motive that led me here.

Tell myself it's time to cut you off and rebuild.

I'll probably park by the ocean and let it all out.

The breakdowns lead to reconstruction somewhere down the road.

Once the warm air rolls in I'll try and figure it all out.

I've lost you many times, maybe this time it's forever.

But who are we without some hope?
Tags: You, Me, Life, The Light - Promise of Redemption
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That's how it's done.
04/20/09 at 07:55 PM by Miss Heartcore
Though it may be a little late to comment on this, but, I've been thinking a lot about the pirate hostage situation that occurred last week.

Let's be honest...if the Pirates aren'tt dressed in authentic pirate garb demanding gold dubloons/pirate's booty, then how much do we really care?

Captain Richard Phillips, please take note on one way to save your ship:

(Volume turned WAY UP please)

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Is this FOREVER?
02/04/09 at 02:50 PM by Miss Heartcore
Poor kid is high as fuck. I feel absolutely terrible for him yet I can't stop laughing.

This kid is going to be itchin for this kind of high when he's 18.

Drugs are bad mmkay.

Tags: Orlando linked this, You have four eyes, David After the Dentist
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Getting in the Spirit.
12/23/08 at 12:54 AM by Miss Heartcore
I know most people have heavy hearts right now with this economy, weather, family, and relationship issues.

In my house, I'm pretty much the only person with Christmas Spirit. I'm the only one willing to decorate the tree and fill the house with Christmas cheer.

This year I asked Sam to come over and help me. I knew he would bring some cheer and help with the cause.
He was indeed a great help. I just feel bad for not providing Santa hats and hot chocolate.

Thanks again buddy.

Now I can curl up on my couch in the dark with just the lights from the tree and my favorite animated Christmas globe.

I enjoy the quiet.

Tis the season.

A personal favorite of mine:

Tags: Christmas time, decorating, friends, Have yourself a merry little christmas.
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10/18/08 at 11:15 PM by Miss Heartcore
I've listened to it three times already.

Can't promise that I'll follow that last bit of advice, but I'll attempt to work on it.

Thank you for thinking of me.
Tags: Wouldn't YOU like to know?
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All the Time.
08/28/08 at 07:04 PM by Miss Heartcore

: I would like you to call me. Would you do that? I'd like it.
Tags: You, Life, ETOTSM
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Don't Break The Ice
06/13/08 at 02:43 PM by Miss Heartcore
All we really need is hope that there could be a possibility
Once you try and run with it, then it's all a gamble.

Maybe we shouldn't try to take things so personally.
Maybe we were better off as curious strangers.

Well fuck it, I'm already hooked.
You've got anything left?
Tags: Life, lust, friends, strangers, you, me, and dupree?
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Last Updated: 11/02/15 (365,132 Views)
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