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| Life is a lyric we all sing along to
| | Innerpartysystem : 11.25.09 |
Slinking away from my company, I'm finding that I enjoy myself less when surrounded by the influence of certain people. No need to bring ourselves all down. I'll take my leave and we can all be jovial.
I can trace the trigger. It was right when you said you would not go see your friends play. That it would be "awkward". Am I the only one who sees the error in this?
It's the same song, different day. I'm realizing more and more that knowing less is actually better. Could I go blind once more to retrieve the love this light stripped from me?
Run and escape from Wonderland while you still can. | | Tags: concert, |
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| | | | | Blink 182 : 10.3.09 |
I know things change, but my inner child can't help but throw a tantrum. "It's not fair," one side of my consciousness shrieks. As if I'm watching the battle play out in front of me, the other part of my mind, the rational part, stares down the tirading, emotional child to ask, "Are you done yet?" Arms crossed, toe tapping and looking down, she responds, "Yes."
Sitting against the wall, battle decided, I'm finally ok with how the evening has worked out. Content with the situation, I'm now more amused that the emotional decisions made in July ended up so far off from the original plan. Even my backup plans ran aground. There is nothing I can do now except make the best of this moment. Money aside, there will be no other fallout from the evening unless I let it.
As if those thoughts were controlling my actions, I stand and move my way into the crowd. Here, this will be a superb spot to watch. Another spot opens up in front of me and I move up. Again the crowd shifts and again I step forward, slowing inching my way towards the barricade. It's unintentional, but before I can realize what I'm doing, I'm in the third row from the stage. Oh, how 14 year old of me. I sigh, wondering just how long I'll last in the pit. My record lately hasn't looked great. My patience for dealing with people who don't know how to act in a crowd is at an all time low.
I'm not sure at what point during the night it occurred, but sometime between singing along to Blink 182 and not worrying about anything but the present, I regained my passion. It's not something I felt that I had entirely lost, but rather, that it had been strangled and mutilated by a position which was originally supposed to promote its growth. Funny how we can convince ourselves of things. I really need this, but do I? You define your very own reality. But now that's I've named the problem, can I save myself from it?
There is no drum solo tonight. The only disappointment in an otherwise brilliant evening. I'm thrilled with myself. The ability to stay positive when the chips are down. I've been practicing and I'm relieved the effort is paying off. I'm in such a glorious mood that I work my way through the exiting crowd and over to the merch table. Chewing my lip, I contemplate the cost. Australia. Australia. Australia. I chant to myself, backing away from the table and towards the direction of my car. Nothing and no one could cut down my buoyant mood. I start the car, and begin to make the drive home. And hopefully, towards banishing the ghosts that haunt my passion.
| | Tags: concert, photography |
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| | Bouncing Souls 8.22.09, Blink 182 8.27.09, Sunny Day Real Estate 10.1.09 |
I'll be honest.
I stopped writing in here because I've felt recently, for lack of a better word, lost.
It's been hard to write in here, or anywhere really, because it all seems forced. Despite seeing amazing bands and listening to great music over the past several months, me and my passion towards music seemed broken. There have been some great unforgettable nights, but there have also been shows that were lackluster. But the thing is, for so long, I didn't have lackluster shows. All live music was captivating. I've been afraid for quite sometime now that this slow creeping feeling taking hold over me was just me "growing up". That I was one of the unfortunate souls that grew apart from a long held, deep seeded passion as the years progressed. The entire situation had me confused, upset and empty.
After last night, I think I've finally been able to name my vampires and can begin to shake them. I will admit, although, that naming them will not make the easier to fight off. It's just a relief that my passion isn't gone or outgrown and that I'm not broken. | | Tags: concert, |
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| | | Warped Tour : 7.15.09 |
I'll be honest.
Warped was disappointing this year (for me).
I won't go into it because I know there's been a lot of discussion lately about the music industry dying or people living too much in the past. And in the end it doesn't really matter because nothing is going to stay the same. Change truly is the only constant. There are still great things, bands, music out there this very second.
But I feel like there was less of those great things, for me, at Warped this year. It's sad to see a summer tradition I've held so long be reduced to this. Or maybe this is just growing up? | | Tags: concert, photography |
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| | | Promise Of Redemption 5.29.09 : Hit The Lights & Valencia 5.31.09 |
It's a bitter-sweet show tonight. I did not know Chris Brightman, but that doesn't mean I am not affected by his passing. I'm so amazed, enthralled and proud of all the people who came together in order to help out a family & friend. All the bands performed tonight for free. The venue and employees donated the space and time. Ticketweb waved all their convenience fees. Shirts and posters were made. All donated. All in celebration of a very dear friend, brother, son.
Rest in peace Chris Brightman. | | Tags: concert |
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| | mewithoutYou 5.23.09 |
It hasn't been a good few days since this show has happened. I fear that going back to write about it now will only cause the description/story/whatever to have a slight negative tone despite how great the actual show was. That will not do the night justice.
I will say they played "Tie Me Up! Untie Me!" and this made me ecstatic.
| | Tags: concert, photography |
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| | The Secret Handshake 5.19.09 |
"There's something strange going on in my head..." The house music projects the first line of the song clear into the bar. There is a pause in the conversation as my companion stops to roll his eyes. To clarify, he says, "I hate this song."
I can't help but laugh. His statement is neither expected nor unexpected, but I understand. (Despite my feelings toward the track being quite the opposite.)
I'm glad I stuck around. The unanticipated company and the ballgame have made a nice combination. Even sitting through music I don't necessarily care for, it's more pleasant than my normal evening routine. Plus, sometimes I feel like I need to take advantage of the luck/passion I have now while it lasts. Who knows when things will end? And regret is worthless. | | Tags: concert |
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| | Forgive Durden 5.7.09 : Innerpartysystem 5.15.09 : Valencia 5.16.09 |
She cuts through the crowd, following the small group of people to a side doorway. With a flash of a wrists, these people proceed and climb the stairway into the unknown. She's the only one who hesitates before the door-frame. Backstage is always an awkward place. Well for her anyways.
There seems to be in general, two main draws for the average person to get backstage. One, this is where the bands and artists will all be. In most cases, this also means where the party and alcohol will be. And two, since backstage is for the artists, only a limited number of people are allowed in these specific areas. Cue the superiority complexes? Of course these are not the only two reasons, but appear to be the most common. There are a lot of legitimate reasons one could be backstage, such as being a close friend of the band. Or a friend of a close friend of the band?
Besides, backstage is never as glamorous as everyone makes it out to be. Reality and fantasy are funny things, especially in comparison to one another. Wonder what they would think with the lights on?
She shrugs, flashes the orange wristband and continues through the door. | | Tags: concert |
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| | Alkaline Trio 4.30.09 : Bamboozle 5.2.09 : Bamboozle 5.3.09 |
Despite anything we are, we will be what we tell ourselves. Focusing on the positive will make us happy. Thinking calm and collective will make us confident. Sometimes it slips through, like too much water in cupped hands. But when you have caught it, ride out that wave and remember that feeling when it breaks.
Right now, however, I'm telling myself how foolish I am. I struggle to find the point behind my actions, especially after the past 3 sets I've witnessed. I could watch this all from the back, I tell myself, and not clinging to the barricade like a 14 year old. It's not a positive notion by any means. No one likes hearing they are too old for a long held passion.
I wait. My stubborn need to bury a date in 2006 keeps me along the railing. You can't take back the past. So I painfully try to wash over the regret with the present.
I've been fortunate to see this specific band play numerous times. But there's a completely unexpected event that occurs when my wait finally ends for this round. It's new. And yet it's not. It's almost like the past repeating itself in a way. At the end of 2005 I fell in love with an album and I had to wait an entire year to see that band perform it live. When I finally did, it was magic. Completely unexplainable, but maybe comparative to a hit of Meth, as I've been hunting for that same high ever since. Don't let that statement discolor any other bands or sets I've seen since then. There have been amazing sets and stellar times. But this was different. And similar to that past experience, this is somehow new and fresh. And it's mine. Just like that first show was mine.
Writing this all out might make me sound stupid and lame, but honestly, I'm just so grateful I have certain things like this in my life. It's interesting to think where I might be right now if not for the music that shaped me. I don't think I would be as happy. Or motivated. Or passionate. And I definitely would not be standing right here. You can't take this out of my life like some single puzzle piece. Everything is intertwined, a foundation built with and among other passions.
I don't need to tell myself to be positive and happy here on the barricade I realize. When that band walks on stage, (or when I press that play button), it just happens. I wouldn't have it any other way. | | Tags: concert, photography |
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| | Show dump. |
The Faint 4.13.09
Good Old War 4.18.09 : Valencia 4.18.09 : Not Without A Fight Tour 4.18.09
The Ataris 4.24.09
Manchester Orchestra 4.26.09
Too many projects on the table. Set with Bayside & NFG can be found here.
| | Tags: concert, photography |
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