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.invisible ink.'s Blog
Fate
04/11/12 at 09:01 PM by .invisible ink.
I can't stop crying. I know it's been weeks since we broke up and I should be getting better but I'm not. I'm in so much pain. I'm so fucking lonely now. You were the only thing keeping me going and I didn't want to admit it but I don't have a choice at this point. And yet, I can't go back to the way we were. I was a prisoner. I know you loved me as best as you could and I know that I wanted it to be enough so badly and I couldn't make it so. I have been trying to distract myself from my feelings with the weed that is now running low and the throwaway boys that talk to me and don't mean a thing but when I take away those distractions I'm left with pure and total misery and longing and wondering what I could have done differently to have made you love me in the way I needed and deserved. I'm so worried about how you feel now but don't want to think about how I feel. I don't want to feel anything.

I daydream about holding a bolt gun up to my head and just pulling the trigger and making it all go away. I'm not to that point right now but I'm sure it won't be too many years off that I take the plunge and go for it, as sad and sick as that may seem. Life just hasn't turned out the way it was meant to. Time is slipping away and I'm left with nothing to show for it.

I'm so lost and empty. I just want to disappear and make it all disappear.


"Fate"
by Lydia

It's just, it's just I can't seem to fall asleep these days
And you can't seem to stop digging this grave

'Cause you were only eighteen at the time
And I was holding up these streets just fine
Come on, oh, come on

Place me on your scene and I'll take
Everything that you ever said to me
No, it wasn't just words
(No, it wasn't just words)
But day after day after day
I call that fate

Oh, darling I've been thinking about you
And you are thinking how much fun it was
Filling up our lungs

But don't you just see what's happened?
Yeah, we never stay lonely, come on

Place me on your scene and I'll take
Everything that you ever said to me
No, it wasn't just words
(No, it wasn't just words)
But day after day after day
I call that fate

(I can't bare to see you)
Place me on your scene and I'll take
(Staring at the ceiling)
Everything that you ever said to me
No, it wasn't just words
(No, it wasn't just words)
Day after day after day
I call that

(I can't bare to see you)
Place me on your scene and I'll take
(Staring at the ceiling)
Everything that you ever said to me
No, it wasn't just words
(No, it wasn't just words)
Day after day after day
I call that fate

Tags: jordan, lydia, fate
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one more day
11/10/08 at 02:41 AM by .invisible ink.


Well I saw you fall back once love.
But I can't stay.
Stay like this weather swirls,
Cause you've become sick like this winter girl.
Two more days, just two more.

Now I see.
Don't you say that I've gone crazy.
Because I haven't gone crazy yet.
I just lost my mind,
But I still got you.

Stay up late so you're sure.
Sure that I wont stray too far,
But surely that got too hard.
Love is not for me,
I promise.
One more day, just one more.

I'd Stay If I ever could,
Stay if I ever could.
And pick up your pieces babe,
Cause there's never a perfect day.
Tags: lydia, one more day
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Last Updated: 01/10/14 (12,956 Views)
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