I travel continuum
In and out of conscious time,
Caught in retrograde,
Betrayed by my own mind.
Trying to move forward
But chained to the past,
Chasing after memories
That never seem to last.
A string of sand,
Cortex of dust;
Too remote to matter much
To anyone but me.
My brainís an inverse equation,
So maybe Ribot was correct.
All it needs is a reset to zero
To clear itself direct.
Yet I resist with
To the right and the left,
A misnomer in slow motion.
Am I not destined to
Live a life on repeat,
For if I cannot remember
What then is concrete?
Capillaries arenít as forgiving
With the airstream running low,
So I remain glued in position
With nowhere else to go.
Everything is temporal,
Or so itís been said.
I swear Iíll learn this time.
First notes fester below
Must stop the blood flow
Sedate Sturm und Drang
Scab over acuity
Faint strings afloat
Hands down my throat
Dislodge the memories
Discord charts course
Stimulate a dead horse
Mask as resurrection
Truth splinters to pieces
Sold to the highest bidder
By an aphetic state
Orchestra on full display
Dances to the cabaret
Revel in canned applause
Oh to be innocent again
Music swells rise
Bankrupt blue skies
Petroleum sweet as honey
In a cogent cocoon
Induce collective calm
With fabricated entropy
Alderson loop gash
Where Newspeak is king
The cycle keeps spinning
So goes the last movement
Marketed as improvement
And what started as a pinprick
Now gushes like a geyser
You whispered into my ear a few words in the right key
So soft I could barely make them out over the lull around us.
ďWhatís the word thatís burning in your heart?Ē
Or at least thatís what I think you said.
Distracted by the light emitting from the Golden State
I wasnít sure about much of anything anymore.
Not that it would have made a difference
As I could barely look you in the eye.
Still here I was too stubborn to surrender,
Ever hopeful for a break in the game of meaninglessness.
But like a song with no refrain droning off into the ether
We danced around each other time and again,
Only to find thereís no use in bandaging
Blood as it drips off broken fingernails.
Inertia was confirmed impossible to control
For the lives we lead will surely kill us.
Now sit perched at the precipice of space
We stare down into what will become the future.
After twenty some odd years life is finally set for takeoff.
The only question is what direction itís flying in.
Standing on the shoreline might feel safer
But itís a lie many have fallen for
Despite what propaganda others may speak
The rip current isnít fatal
Believe me, it only lasts for a second
If you take the risk and jump into the river
Youíll discover lungs are useful for more than air
Breathe in deep the sweet serenity
To find thereís faith beneath the surface
Let the undertow carry you under
And bask in the uplifting descent
As we drown in the frigid sound
So come on in, baby
The waterís just right for a swim
Light danced across our faces,
Sketching a faint line against the night sky.
The bridges behind us lay smoldering,
Billowing pillars of smoke into the air.
Was it time to turn back?
Had we past the point of no return?
These questions and more echoed through my head.
Questions I had no answers for.
I tried to keep my fears disguised
Yet you couldnít help but notice.
The landscape began to alter shape
As our doubt grew to more than a distraction.
I grabbed your arm and we pressed on,
Using the northern star as a compass.
But, alas, it was no useó
We had been going in circles for hours.
Up ahead a soft glow gleamed in the distance
And as we neared it became evident the fire had spread.
Before long it would have us surrounded,
Eager to engulf that which moments before had given it life.
We started to run but it was utterly in vain,
Its advances mindful of our every move.
Too tired to continue we collapsed to the ground,
Unable to proceed any further.
As the flames licked closer
I reached for your hand
Only to discover there was no one there beside me.
It had just been myself all along.
With oxygen in short supply
I leaned my head back and closed my eyes,
Trying to find peace in lifeís regrets.
It was time to face the burning deluge.