In nineteen minutes, you can mow the front lawn; color your hair; watch a third of a hockey game. In nineteen minutes, you can bake scones or get a tooth filled by a dentist; you can fold laundry for a family of five.
Nineteen minutes is how long it took the Tennessee Titans to sell out of tickets to the playoffs. Itís the amount of time it takes to listen to the Yes song Close to the Edge. Itís the length of a sitcom, minus the commercials. Itís the driving distance from the Vermont border to the town of Sterling, NH.
In nineteen minutes, you can order a pizza and get it delivered. You can read a story to a child or have your oil changed. You can walk two miles. You can sew a hem.
In nineteen minutes, you can stop the world; or you can just jump off it.
In nineteen minutes, you can get revenge.
my mother called today. this morning a student at my former high school killed himself in a bathroom near the pool with a sawed-off shotgun. when police searched his locker, they found 30 rounds of ammunition and two molotov cocktails.
this is unreal.
this is completely real.
his name was...is...thomas kane, and i went to school with his older brother. his older sister babysat me and my brother. my brother's girlfriend's brother was best friends with him, and one of the last people to see him alive.
this isn't supposed to happen in canandaigua.
after columbine, they installed a grand total of three security cameras in our halls. the popular kids petitioned to make the trenchcoat kids be trench-free. i never felt unsafe, not once.
i feel such grief. i don't know his motives, but i am sure they will all come out in the wash. i barely remember him from when i was a kid myself. but i cannot imagine the pain his family is going through tonight. second guessing everything they thought they knew. perhaps coming to terms with things they denied, things they might not want to have seen.
i am sure people will say, thank god he didn't hurt anyone else. and that is true, i suppose. if there had to be a death in this, it's a blessing that only one person was killed. but tell that to his family, to his friends. the ones who will live with the gap in their lives.
the one thing that is getting to me, is that my mom said that my brother's girlfriend's brother, will, saw that something was wrong with this kid in the period leading up to today. thomas told him he was going to bring something to school, but never said what. will told the principal that something was wrong with this young man. will's mother wrote to the superintendent, asking for attention to be paid.
and yet, here we are.
the quoted excerpt above is from a book called "nineteen minutes." it is one of the toughest books i've ever read. it's heartbreaking. but one of the notable points of the book is that kids who do these types of things walk a fine line between suicide and homicide, often picking one or the other at the last instant. anyway, it's probably a book that every kid should read. everyone, really.
anyway, i just needed to get this out. prayers to my hometown tonight. may everyone find peace.