I'll fall asleep at a reasonable hour. And 1AM won't remind me of her. And I won't feel compelled to say "G'night! Sleep well and sweet dreams!" Eventually these habits will fade. Maybe somebody will fill the void, maybe not. But I've done a pretty good job at holding true to my New Year's Resolution thus far. Of course, this was my second time making that resolution but I feel better for it.
I'm less angry, less sarcastic. But things are getting to me more. I'm more sad, perhaps even a bit depressed. I've been talking about things in a serious manner with friends, admitting to certain things about myself. And y'know what? It feels fucking great. This is what it feels like to heal.
And in the meantime? I just need to keep repeating this in my head:
Don't look back at anger, it's just a memory
It's easy to forget your face
And it's easy to survive in this place
I just comb my hair and wash my face
Keep straight ahead and keep my pace
Just think about nothing, I might never be alright
Well I got my friends, I got my pen
Got a million distractions to keep me warm
And I know that I'll be alright
01.) This shit needs to be more fun. I've started piecing together some music geek-driven "pieces" for the blog. I shall call them Hypotheticals. And they'll pretty much serve as a way to let my nerdy self analyze, critique, and daydream within a specific guideline of sorts. The first bit should be ready for tomorrow evening. Or Thursday. I'm a slacker.
02.) I'm nearing the five-mile marker with the running. And I'm up to 67 and 61 on the push-up and crunch fronts, respectively. What up, little victories?
03.) Newbury Comics failed me today. No Flatliners, no Menzingers. Sigh. But I did wind up picking up the new Murs album I had no idea was on the way.
04.) I missed Lost tonight. Why? See #1. It was worth it. I'll just need to avoid any and all human contact until I can play catch-up tomorrow evening.
05.) Anxiety has been creepin' up the past few nights right around this time. Why? Fucked if I know. I've cut back on caffeine. Wonder if that's it. Coupled with the quarter-life crisis thoughts all over again? Potentially.
06.) Strung Out is one of my all-time favorite "late night anxiety" bands. Something about the tension and urgency in the music, Jason's vocals...It makes everything feel just a tiny bit better.
07.) I picked up a pair of tickets to see Rich Vos a a small-ass comedy club here in Boston. I'm stoked to see that dolt on-stage for the first time. Seriously. He's not that bright. Check it out.