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Smart Kid [With Too Much To Say]
|Gran Torino? No Thank You.
|Okay, so before you read, just know the title of my blog entry is saying something, and it's not something good.|
I've heard great things about it, and although I'm not a big Eastwood fan, I wanted to see it. At the end of the movie, which was highlighted by an original Eastwood track nonetheless, I felt like I had wasted 2 hours of my time. I can't see what any of the good reviews see and I don't know why people continue to kiss Clint Eastwood's old wrinkled ass. This movie was one of the worst movies I've seen in a very, very long time and here's why:
1) The acting from just about EVERY character, including Eastwood, is 2nd rate and amateurish. The scipt and dialogue are so rigid and rehearsed it's almost a parody on itself. I can't think of a character whose acting wasn't just uncomfortable to watch. Well, maybe the barber. And even his lines were totally scripted and unnatural. On top of that, Eastwood spent the entire movie growling. Seriously, growling.
2) A storyline/plot that could have turned into a learning experience and historical gem was ruined by such terrible acting, cliched connotations and way too many ethnic slurs. I've never seen a movie with as many blatently obvious slurs and angered egregiousness. It was like they wanted to brow-beat the words into your skull. That, and I think that they used every possible slur you could think of towards Asian people. It was like Eastwood wanted to leave no stone unturned. It was annoying and unnecessary.
You wrap up the total cliche that this movie runs on and combine it with terrible acting - you get a movie that people will give some weird critical acclaim to. But, I can guarantee you that if this movie didn't have Eastwood in it or directing it, this movie would be the biggest flop in Hollywood, which is a shame because it might be good under those circumstances.
|Tags: gran torino, eastwood, racist, terrible, shit acting, laughable
|John, You're O' So Terrible
|For everyone in the "O The Comments" and "O, I See What You Did There" threads.|
A little entry in John O's Blog
"I just couldn't help myself. I'm waiting for a 13 year tantrum:
So, for all of you 13 year old scene girls who have no idea what this perez blog is about, here is the thread at AP.net - http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=779422. Don't pretend you aren't on there with your 13 posts and default Maine avatar. You probably posted shit about him, in one of your 13 posts. The Maine is terrible and if you think that his blog the other day about "it all just happens" is some sort of eloquent poetry or insightful memoir, then you are as sad as he is. He probably wrote that with one of you little, illegal birds balancing on his balls. Oh, but feel free to jump into the new blog about him, you'll be up to 20 posts before you know it: http://absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=784422."
|Tags: john, o, terrible, the maine, scene girls, underage sex
|Oh Nine Forecast
Cartel's third album will be epic and will make people forget about Chroma and Cartel, even the select few, like myself, who loved the 2nd one more. On the flip, people will continue to write off Cartel because of the Bubble, just because they wanted a reason to not like them. Though, sadly, I wouldn't be surprised by a break up. Don't ask me why.
Paramore's follow up to Riot! will be huge, but won't be as well rec'd as it's predecessor.
Panic at the Disco will release an album more like A Fever You Can't Sweat Out which will please original fans, but upset fans who liked Pretty. Odd. more. They will become more relevant than their presence in 2008. Brendon Urie will continue to sound shitty live.
Fall Out Boy will tour on Folie a Deux the entire year because the album is that good. Pete Wentz will attempt to name his next child after characters from anime movies.
The Maine will make another shitty record and be stoned to death while playing a free acoustic show in Ontario, Canada.
Anberlin won't release a new album, but their next will be a blend of their last three.
John Mayer will continue to be an amazing musician, but total douche to Jennifer Aniston. They'll break up and get back together more times than Coldplay.
Adam Levine, from Maroon 5, will finally come out of the closet despite his heavy appetite for sex with females. This will surprise no one.
Saosin's new release will be decent, but Cove Reber will still be one of the worst live singers in the biz.
All Time Low will make another record just like So Wrong, It's Right which will please their current fanbase, while their lost fan base will wish they made another record like Put Up or Shut Up.
Metro Station and 3OH!3 will make more horrible music, but that will be trumped by an even shittier album put out by Billy Ray Cyrus.
Valencia will get bigger, but not total, mainstream big.
Jeffree Star will marry Marilyn Manson in an elegant, all black, mid-August wedding.
Chris Fallon will kill everyone in PWTs.
|Tags: 2009, Cartel, Maine - fucking terrible, Fallon, All Time Low
|Soulja Boy - iSoulja Boy Tellem
|Soulja Boy – iSouljaBoyTellem|
Release Date: December 16th, 2008
Record Label: Interscope/Collipark Music
Unless you’ve been under a rock or at the North Pole or you were one of the passengers on Oceanic flight 815, you’ve most certainly heard of Soulja Boy and his internet sensation turned multi-Platinum song “Crank That.” And if you’ve heard it, I’m sure you wished you were, in fact, under a rock, at the North Pole or one of the passengers on Oceanic flight 815. It was one of the biggest songs in the last few years, proof that you can suck really hard and still have a hit record and make a few dollars. Soulja Boy went on to receive a Grammy nomination for the song, proof that you can suck really hard and still get nominated for a Grammy. Just ask Macy Gray, she can attest to that. So, with the success of that one song, he released two albums featuring the single in 2007. With his newest album, iSouljaBoyTellem, one can’t be sure what he was hoping to accomplish, other than a boycott on his music altogether or an all out feud with the hip-hop industry.
What one can be sure of is that the album is a complete disaster. ”Crank That” might have been annoying, but it was catchy. The whole free world knew the lyrics, and if you knew the lyrics, you damn sure knew the dance. iSouljaBoyTellem is probably, all things considered, the worst album in the history of rap music. In fact, I would be cheeky enough to put it at the top of my list for worst albums ever made. Aside from lyrics and song titles that make absolutely no sense, he has the ever annoying habit of referring to himself in the third person and/or simply saying his name over and over and over again, until you want to bang your head against a brick wall, bang his head against a brick wall, or even both. He probably says “Soulja Boy Tell’em” about a thousand times in sixteen songs, and that’s not a joke. It’s rare that I can listen to an album and not find one good thing about it, but this is an exception. There wasn’t one even semi-decent track on the album. Every song is worse than the previous. It sounds like a bunch of kids who broke into a studio and just recorded themselves vomiting at the mouth. On second thought, that’s exactly what it is. I almost turned the album off eight songs into, but I figured that the rest of the album couldn’t possibly be as horrific as the first? I’ve never been so wrong.
The album didn’t even warrant a second spin. I had heard all I needed. So, in the end, that’s really all I can say about the album. If someone says different, I’m certain they’re deaf, dumb or Soulja Boy’s mother. But honestly, I even bet she can’t stand this trash. It makes me want to go up to Ice-T and just shake his hand.
Recommended if You Likea flaming bag of shit, horrible music, contributing to the death of hip-hop, punching babies, being terrible
|Tags: shit, poop, dung, kaka, terrible, vomit, ugh
|The Maine - Can't Stop, Won't Stop (Album Review)
|The Maine - Can't Stop, Won't Stop|
Release Date: July 8th, 2008
Record Label: Fearless Records
There will always be a band that really has the potential to make something good out of what has turned into a completely saturated musical genre. They seem posed to break the mold and take the music in a whole new and inspiring direction. I remember feeling that way about Cartel when I first heard their demos and saw their live show. I remember feeling that way about All Time Low when I saw grainy, distorted YouTube clips of them performing at little hole-in-the-wall venues in my home state of Virginia. Bands like these seemed fresh and new - something to inject a bit of life back into the music that I love. Another band that I held out some hope for were The Maine, although I wasn’t completely sold.
Honestly, I must say that prior to the release of Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop, I didn’t really care for The Maine. I heard The Way We Talk EP and thought it wasn’t anything groundbreaking or new. The sound had been around for a while and the lyrical content is pretty on par with the rest of the genre. I expected more with the EPs, but still held a sliver of hope for Can't Stop, Won't Stop. I was hoping that they’d mature a little bit – even though they are teenagers – and come into their own a tad bit more. Lead singer John O’Callagan has a nice voice for upbeat songs and even slower ballads, at times; it’s even quite powerful. One thing that I do need to point out, even though it’s been said before, is O’Callagan has an eerily similar sound to Kenny Vasoli of The Startling Line. That's part of the reason I had high hopes for this record.
With all that being said, I am let down by the release of Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop. Of the 12 songs on the CD, 10 of them follow the same lyrical structure as The Way We Talk EP – meaning they are about ‘this girl’ or ‘that girl.’ Pop/Punk, or whatever title people give it, has turned sour with the outbreak of bubble gum bands. Lyrical content used to be held in high regard, but now all the songs we hear are about a broken heart or getting hammered with friends, even though the bands are rarely of age to understand the true meaning of a broken heart, nor are they old enough to consume alcohol or even get into a rated R movie.
I expected The Maine to break the mold and be the next big thing, but as far as I can tell, that won’t happen, or at least it shouldn’t. The first three songs on the album “Everything We Ask For”, “We All Roll Along” and “Girls Do What They Want” are my favorite three tracks all for different reasons. To me, they seem to be different in their own way while the latter part of the album starts to run together. The entire album consists of relatively simple lyrics that we’ve all heard time and time again. The first three songs are nothing new, but I like them. They have good hooks and that’s usually the biggest thing for me. If a song doesn’t have a good hook - regardless of how powerful the lyrics might be - I find myself drifting. After the third song, I just lost the interest in the project.
Since listening to it the first time, I’ve given the album 2 more thorough listens and I’m not much happier with the outcome. Matt Squire does what he’s supposed to do with the music he was given, but aside from that, it’s nothing to write home about. Chris Lord-Alge mixed tracks 1 and 3 and I must say that I think he did a great job. As far as the rest of the album goes, I’d be pushing it to say many other good things about it. In a completely watered down genre where it seems a new band emerges everyday, I really wanted to like this album - for obvious reasons. When the music stopped, I instantly forgot about it.
So all the hype around this band and around this full-length, to me, seems unwarranted. Until they provide concrete, substantial music like The Startling Line, listeners will have to settle for a Kenny Vasoli knock off. For some people, especially fans of The Maine, that will be good enough. For me, it’s not.
Recommended if you like: Starting Line, CIWWAF, simple lyrics, redundancy, just plain terrible.
|Tags: maine, starting line, ciwwaf, terrible
|G-Unit - T.O.S (Terminate On Sight) - Album Review
|G-Unit – T.O.S (Terminate On Sight)|
Record Label: G-Unit/Interscope Records
Release Date: July 1st, 2008
It is, mark my words, only a matter of time before the wheels on the 50 Cent train fall off and run for the nearest scrap yard. For the last five years, we’ve been barraged with anything and everything that is 50 Cent. From music, to clothes, to movies, to Vivica Fox, back to movies, to his rap feud with The Game, to his rap feud with Kanye West, to Vitamin Water. You name it and there is probably a good chance that on the ingredients the name ‘Curtis Jackson’ will appear somewhere. Hell, you might want to check your cereal because chances are 50 has his spoon and milk in it, taking a cut.
The newest album, T.O.S – Terminate On Sight, from G-Unit is no exception. As long as his name is bankable, 50 will continue to throw it out there with prospering hopes that there will be some money attached on the come around. G-Unit’s debut album, Beg For Mercy, was a big hit. It came out nine months after 50’s debut album, Get Rich or Die Tryin’ , in 2003, with hits from his debut still atop the Billboard Charts. Beg For Mercy sold some two-plus million records in the states and received some pretty good critical reviews. With this year’s release of T.O.S, I’m sure that 50 was hoping for the same fruit from his labor. After listening to this album way more than I should have, G-Unit should stick to being branded on the front of the 50’s popular clothing line, not meddling in people’s eardrums.
In fairness, I really liked 50’s first album, Get Rich or Die Tryin’ , when it came out. It was gritty and new and had this flair about it that made me intrigued to listen and anticipatory for more music. Beg For Mercy had the same gritty, hard and grimy feel to it. After liking each debut album, I was then looking forward to more music, but subsequently, and continually, I was simply let down. The Massacre came out in 2005 and had a lot of hit singles on it, granted, but it had the aura of complacency about it. When Curtis came out in 2007, he was coasting on industry fumes. 50 coasted along on the same recipe he used for each prior album. He uses the same phrases, the same rhyme scheme and the same lyrical content. It’s all become unoriginal music.
So, as I continue to analyze 50’s music and the more I continue to hear 50 Cent, the more I realize why hip-hop has gotten a bad rap. Bluntly, honestly and unequivocally – 50 Cent is garbage. I have liked each new CD from him (and thus, G-Unit) less than the previous. I, then, do not find it odd that his album sales have continued to fall short of their predecessors. The reviews of each album seem to follow that same trend.
Now, after being disappointed with each of his last few albums, why would I want to hear the new G-Unit album you might ask?? Why would I want to write a review about it? Well, my friends, there are two reasons: Young Buck and Lloyd Banks. To me, Young Buck is what rap music is about. His music is nothing more than his feelings thrown down on paper and spit into a mic. He wears his attitude on his chest and has no caution about saying whatever he wants, whenever he wants to. He has flown under the radar for a while and I think that is part of the reason that I love his music. The same goes for Lloyd Banks. His debut CD The Hunger For More is, to me, a great CD. It produced some commercial hits, but the album was real and upfront, so I was sold. Young Buck and Lloyd Banks both have dirty, hard-hitting lyrics that go great with their dirty, hard-hitting rap style.
So, what did I think of T.O.S? As a whole, it was garbage. In parts, it was great. The parts that were great: Lloyd Banks, Young Buck and, surprisingly, Tony Yayo. There was nothing that 50 added to benefit this record or benefit his counterparts. He continues to rap about the exact same things, with the exact same lyrics and the exact same rhyme scheme. In fact, the more and more I listen, the less and less I can decipher what album I’m actually listening to. The production of the album sounds like G-Unit, but the songs sound the same and they run together from beginning to end.
The solitary few that stood out (and I can’t really tell why) are ‘Rider Pt. 2,’ ‘Straight Outta Southside,’ ‘Piano Man,’ and ‘I Like The Way She Do It.’ Other than that, the album was a mess of random lyrics that I found almost completely boring. The only time that I found myself paying attention was when 50 Cent wasn’t rapping, which wasn’t very often. On the album, for example, it doesn’t get much worse than the song ‘Kitty Kat’, which has some random girl saying ‘Ouch, I need cash for my kitty kat.’ Seriously. And when (or if) you listen to this album, I’m sure that you’ll catch the irony on ‘I Don’t Wanna Talk About It,’ where 50 Cent continues to rap about girls, guns, gunshots, gun shells and money, only to then hit us with the chorus ‘I Don’t Wanna Talk About It.’ If that’s the case, and he really didn’t want to talk about it, his last four albums wouldn’t have been released.
Ultimately, on this album, 50 has only done what he’s done for the last five years. He developed a sound, a style, a swagger, an image – and he has continued to push that out to the masses. He’s nothing if he’s not consistent. The problem is not that his music isn’t consistently good. It’s that it’s getting consistently worse. I think the penultimate display of that is on this G-Unit record. Personally, I can’t find enough bad things say or ways to point out how bad 50’s music continues to get, so I’ll let Young Buck sum up the possession of this album best – ‘Fuck ya clique, like Syphilis, bitch, you stuck with this.’
Recommended if you like: 50 Cent and his terrible ass, more 50 Cent, indecipherable lyrics, music about gun shots and girls, moments of greatness from Lloyd Bank and Young Buck.
|Tags: 50 cent, young buck, lloyd banks, g-unit, terrible