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I guess this is growing up

01/22/09 at 03:11 PM by Sic Transit Zeb

A lot of shit is coming down on me right now. For the first time in my life, I am actually having real life responsibilities, needs and demands. I've always been one to work, have been since I was 15, but recently been unemployed and it's no good. Plus, with job shake-ups within my family, I don't have a safety net. Albeit, one that was even more imaginative than the word.

And school, what the fuck. School? Really? I'm overloaded with hw right now and Im' not one to get stressed easily but I feel as if I can't help it this time. I'm not sure what it is but I think it's the realization of if I fuck up now; it can't be explained as a simple 'mistake' or 'i'm just a kid'. It's now a mistake that can be traced, followed and discriminated.

I feel as if I'm at a crossroads in my life. I go right, the future works out well, I'm happy, and I have a degree. I get the job and start working on the proverbial 'white picket fence and a family'. I've achieved the American dream. If I go left, life is harder and more complicated. I might get a manual labor job, have to work long hours, and have the feeling of disappointment because holding that degree will be a good feeling.

It will all work out eventually and the best thing I can do is keep my head above water. I must keep treading the water and hope I get to the shore soon. It's all up to me now, and I'm ready to take on the world. World meet Zeb. Zeb meet world.

P.S. My credit is fuuuuuuuuuuucked either way. Ha, whoops.

Tags: rant, rambling, unimportant things in your life but important in mine,

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