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The Remnants of Uncertainty...
02/19/09 at 04:11 AM by cassusriff
I know it isn't interesting to most people, but I am happy. I had a great weekend in LA with all my favorite people in the world, I am done with my college applications (for now), work is going well, school is going well, my home life is great (gotta love home-made dinners and watching your favorite TV shows with your girlfriend), and I feel good about things on the horizon.

Add to that, 2009 is looking to be a great music year. Blink, Green Day, NFG with new albums coming and the new Morissey and Thursday albums kick ass. I'm still spinning The Fray and P.O.S.

Also my tax return comes tomorrow and that's going to solve some financial issues.

Anyway, I know that my blogs are scarce and boring now because I'm so happy. I'll try to find some misery to write about soon. It's bad enough I am up so late writing this right now, but I have no time during the rest of the week.

So thats just a quick update. I'll try to learn how to write something that's interesting again soon.
Tags: update, life, happy
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Headfirst Slide
12/19/08 at 03:11 AM by cassusriff
So this is a rambling blog.

My problem with the story is that I feel like if I write a blog that isn't one of the chapters, I'm angering people. I have three chapters left and I will finish them soon enough, but there are too many other things on my mind that I have to get out before I can finish this damn story.

Fall Out Boy's new album is awesome. I've been back and forth with the band through their history. I never hated or loved them too much so I don't think I can ever be truly disappointed by them. Their lyrics have a way of speaking to everyone and you have to respect that. Let's just say that FOB is in my good graces and put out a top-10 album this year.

Speaking of which, I'm planning a huge EOTY list for this year. I went back and looked at my list from last year and added tons of categories. I'm going to do this thing in multiple segments and I'm totally stoked for it. Look for that to come in the next week.

So yes, I finally finished finals. I would definitely say I was spiraling and burning out in the last month. I'm still not close to feeling stable again, but I'm getting there. I still have to do a few more things to make sure I'll get my Social Science and General Education Associate's Degrees in May. But my online class schedule along with my 4 days a week of guaranteed working out with my weight training and cardio classes makes me happy. Not to mention that I don't have to worry about any of that until the end of January.

When this time of the year comes around I always get a bit nostalgic. I think everyone does. But I've been thinking about where I was a year ago. I hadn't moved out of my parent's house yet. I was recently dumped, I was lost and hating my direction. I was a mess. I was trying to find happiness in misery (FOB quote, ZOMG!).

Now I look at myself and I find that I'm trying to find misery in happiness. I've been so used to strife and pain and struggle that I don't know what to do with all this happiness in my life. I keep thinking that something bad is coming, that it is impossible to maintain this level of happiness... but nothing suggests that my happiness is going anywhere. It's crazy. I have an amazing girlfriend and a healthy relationship for the first time in... ever. My friends are all home and we are partying on saturday. I'm moving up at work. I have a good class schedule and I'm getting two degrees then transferring to UCLA or UCSD next fall. There's also one more prospect I'm excited about, but I'll get to that in a bit. Even Christmas, which is usually a terrible holiday for me, has become very enjoyable thanks to my beautiful girl. She took me to cut down a tree and decorated it with me and everything. My first Xmas on my own and she helped make it amazing.

Speaking of which, I need to do some shopping and creating. I hope to find some time in the next week to write some music, write some poetry and lyrics that aren't related to my story (though I still plan to write that as well!), continue to organize my life via my macbook and my iphone (yea, I got one... I know, I fail), and finish my EOTY list. I really want to blog more, but what is important right now are my family, friends, and girlfriend. Got plans to see a show, party, play football, have a relaxing and extended night with my girl, drive to San Jose and San Francisco to see family, exchange gifts and try to avoid annoying family bitterness and just have some cheer for once. If I've learned anything in my relationship, it's that I am a bit closed off and jaded. I'm trying to let go a bit more.

So back to organizing. I love syncing my calendar and contacts with my macbook and my iphone. I've been so crazy about it and still have some more tweeking to do. I like having lists and contacts with complete information.

And about that other prospect? Well I'm looking at joining the military. Before you jump on my ass about it, let me tell you that I'm looking at the officer program and won't join unless they pay for the next two years of college. The Navy is looking like the best bet right now. Basically, they have a program where they would pay me something like $3000 a month while I'm in school from Fall 2009-Spring 2011. I wouldn't have to work anything more than a part time job and I'd be able to focus on school and get my degree in Economics. Then when I went off to active duty for 4 years I'd be able to be a higher rank as an Officer, travel the world, work in Intelligence (which I love and would have a blast doing), save up money for my graduate degree, have a steady job and priceless experience, and no debt. By the time I'd be done with active duty I'd be 27, on my way to a graduate degree, have enough money to buy a house, have a guaranteed job with the Navy or enough experience on my resume to get a good job in what would be a hopefully recovering Economy, and be at a place in my life that would make me extremely proud and fulfilled.

Think of all of that what you will, but just the prospect of a free, unabaited education and a guaranteed job that I'm sure I'd love at the very least more than my current one makes my beam with excitement.

For the first time in years I feel like I have a track I am on. I feel like I have a purpose and I have my life figured out.

And if you don't like where I'm going, thats fine. You can just read my EOTY list and my story and my blogs about music. You don't have to like me as a person.

Anyway, good to be writing again. Much love to all of you!

Tags: update, life, blogging, EOTY, music, school, military, fob, iphone
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12/05/08 at 03:26 PM by cassusriff
I'm gonna be pop-u-hoo-lar!

No, but really... what is the criteria for being a "popular" blog on this site? Just wondering. I think I'm up to the top 10 most viewed on the site, which is incredible. Thank you all so much. But I'm thinking I need 200 entries before I get that sweet little red "popular" tag next to my blogs. That'll be fun!

P.S. Bonus points for ANYONE who knows what the first line of my blog is from.

So last night was the first night I had time to write my story and I actually didn't. I needed a mental health day from the damn thing. I'm burnt out on finals and a lot of stuff going on with xmas and friends and family. I'm overall in a very happy place right now so I couldn't bring myself to revisit what is about to be the really dark part of my story last night. I'll do my darndest to get Chapter 10 out tonight, but I have to do my homework for Poly Sci first.

Also, xmas tree lighting with my girl and her parents tonight. Me having holiday spirit is the most amazing development of this year. I even put up decorations at my desk! WTF?

I love the new Kanye West album. Don't care what you say about the guy, he makes good music.

Give me a week and a half and my life will return to some form of normalcy. Fall semesters are always so crazy. Spring semesters are always easy. I have everything I want now: all the tech stuff I need to stay organized, an awesome class schedule that forces me to do cardio (Mon/Wed) and weight training (Tues/Thurs). My only two academic classes (Sociology and Statistics) are online. I love that schedule. No saturday classes. No 3-hour classes after work. Just one hour of working out 2 hours after getting off work from Mon-Thurs. I couldn't be happier.

Also, I'm looking into a program that will cause a lot of friction for people who know me. I'll reveal all that later. Sorry for this long and sporadic update, but with the demand to finish my story I haven't been able to write stuff that I like to write, you know, my narcissistic rants that assume all my readers actually care about my personal life. haha.

I'm hoping that when the story is done I'll get back to thoughts on entertainment and stuff like that. After all, that is what this website is about right?

Okay, peace out!
Tags: update, popular, music, life, school, xmas, girls, writing, story
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11/11/08 at 10:57 AM by cassusriff
I know you all are SO interested to know how my LA trip went...

Blog about that later. Right now I must work and do a bunch of homework before class tonight.

Catch yall later.
Tags: Update
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11/04/08 at 02:12 PM by cassusriff
Just voted for the first time. Feels great. I won't tell you who and how I voted, but I'm pretty sure I picked the right guy ;)

I'll have a big update up later tonight. I've had a ton of stuff going on lately and I'm about to tackle a few more crazy projects.

Until then... please, anyone who can, GO VOTE!
Tags: election, update, vote, please vote!
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Update: Autumn Color Changes
10/17/08 at 03:07 AM by cassusriff
Something about Fall/Autumn and the incredible changes that occur in my life. This week alone has been so crazy.

I found out that I can and will be receiving two Associates Degrees in May, one for General Education and one for Social Science.

I've decided to make Sociology my primary major choice in my application to attend UCLA next fall.

I may be getting a second job for the holiday season so I can afford a new computer and supplement my income.

I'm falling in love with a girl and I'm scared to death of it, but I've never been more elated.

Things are so insane and fast-paced. I feel like I don't have a moment to breathe, but every breath I take is pure oxygen. That is to say, I'm moving so fast but the things that are happening are amazing. The news about the Associate's Degrees was a bit of a consolation for having to deal with all these college issues. Finally, after 3 years of college I'll have something to show for it and if I don't get into UCLA I can still make do with those degrees for the time being.

My job is hard, but it is good. I've made a few friends in my department that are actually becoming real life friends, which is really nice. I am pretty low on friends in this area and it'll be nice to have some people to drink with when I finally turn 21 in 7 months. All of my other close friends are going through some rough times just like me and I'm trying to be there for them, but they are so far away. All the most important people in my life are many miles away and it is hard for me. I just hope you all know that I am with you and care about you and am always here for you.

School is going to get considerably easier now. No more Calculus. I just need to finish Accounting and take a Political Science class, then Sociology and Stats next semester. Thats it, then hopefully I'll never have to take General Education-type classes ever again.

I feel like my hobbies are thrust into my schedule whenever possible. I've been slacking a bit on working out and it is hard to find time/resources to make videos, but I'm doing what I can. I've been writing songs and stuff lately, so that is good. But I had to stay up till 3am just to find the time to write a good blog.

But, this girl that has come into my life is amazing. She is worth all the time I give her and I honestly have no problem spending time on the phone with her to make it work. I'm baffled and stunned and scared and excited and overwhelmed and elated all at once. I can't quite describe what is going on here, but I love it.

The campaign is coming back this weekend and I'm really hoping I can get some other videos done. I honestly just can't do much with my current computer, so thats why I want to get a new one so I can have some good editing stuff.

Also, Breast Cancer Walk this Sunday... love doing stuff like this.

The new Copeland album is saving my life. I am enamored by it.

Things are looking up for me, I just need to keep fighting.
Tags: personal, update, campaign, life, relationships, Copeland
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