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Alex DiVincenzo 02/28/12 08:24 PM

Confessions of Patrick Stump
 
Patrick Stump posted a lengthy blog entitled "We Liked You Better Fat: Confessions of a Pariah" in which he discusses the challenges of living in the shadow of his Fall Out Boy past.
BlogThereís this really nice piece at underthegunreview.net by Jacob Tender that a friend forwarded me today. Itís about how important Fall Out Boyís album ďFrom Under the Cork Tree,Ē was to him. After reading it though, nostalgic and well-written as it was, I really found myself more depressed than anything. Itís a complicated feeling, one that Iíve been incapable of explaining to anyone and have them fully understand. In spite of this though, I suppose I will give it the old-I-didnít-go-to-college-try:

Tender had one line that really hit home for me. I related to it in terms of my feelings towards other artists, but I also winced at the profound implications it touched on in my own professional life:

ďI didnít like those pretentious assholes who didnít like anything after Take This To Your Grave. I now recognize that Iím one of those assholes, but I still fume when some of my favorite records are so easily discredited by ignorant semi-listeners.Ē

The reality is that for a certain number of people, all Iíve ever done, all I ever will do, and all I ever had the capacity to do worth a damn was a record I began recording when I was 18 years old. That I can live with. Thatís fine and fair; I have those records in my collection that seem to stand out far above the rest of my favorite artists catalogues (and especially for artists in whom I only have a passing interest). I suppose thereís nothing wrong in thinking Iím at a point in my life where it seems Iíll never catch up: If anyoneís going to appreciate the work Iím making, it wonít be until long after Iím done doing it. Again, this is fine: Iím insanely lucky to even imagine anyone ever appreciating anything I ever do, let alone in real time. Countless artists far better than I have only achieved posthumous acclaim. If I am to be obscure and financially unsuccessful, thereís nothing disheartening in that. The thing thatís more disheartening is the constant stream of insults Iím enduring in my financially unsuccessful obscurity.

Fall Out Boyís last album Folie A Deux was our most critically panned and audiences openly hated it (it was also our poorest selling major label album even if one adjusts for the changing music economy). Now, thatís not to say it didnít have its fans, but at no other point in my professional career was I nearly booed off stages for playing new songs. Touring on Folie was like being the last act at the Vaudville show: We were rotten vegetable targets in Clandestine hoodies.

That experience really took the wind out of the bandís sails; It stopped being fun. I suppose Iím just not that thick skinned. So perhaps it was even more ill-advised when I went out and did something Iíd always wanted to do; make my album and have it released by Island Records [my solo record Soul Punk]. I coincidentally happened to achieve another goal which was to lose the weight Iíd been carrying around since a month-long drinking binge after a bad breakup. Those accomplishments were happy things. Living in the moments of achieving them were perhaps among the happiest in my life.

So when I went out into the world to show off the self I felt like I was happiest and most comfortable being, I suppose I knew there would be the ďHatersĒ [I loathe the clumsy/insufficient word but it seems the most universal]; The elitists that would always prove impossible to please. I had always been prepared for ďHaters,Ē because thereís never been a moment since I graduated high school where I havenít been the guy in ďThat Emo band.Ē First said emo band was dismissed as third rate pop-punk played by hardcore kidsÖa pale imitation of Saves the Day. Then we were swept up in the emo backlash [I really didnít know we were an emo bandÖthatís not what the word meant a decade ago]. To this day my favorite writer at cracked.com will occasionally take swipes at my band as one of the worst things to come out of the 2000ís. We were a (albeit funny) running joke on an episode of Childrenís Hospital.

Those examples of ďHaters,Ē were people who never liked me (or at least never liked my music) and, by all rights, never really should. Such is the way of things. Different strokes for different folks as it were. What I wasnít prepared for was the fervor of the hate from people who were ostensibly my own supporters (or at least supporters of something I had been part of). The barrage of ďWe liked you better fat,Ē the threatening letters to my home, the kids that paid for tickets to my solo shows to tell me how much I sucked without Fall Out Boy, that wasnít something I suppose I was or ever will be ready for. Thatís dedication. Thatís real palpable anger. Add into that the economic risk I had taken [In short: I blew my nest egg on that record and touring in support of it] the hate really crushed me. The standard response to any complaints I could possibly have about my position in life seems to be ďYou poor sad multi-millionaire. I feel so sorry for you.Ē

Quite right, I still have access to enough money to live on in order to avoid bankruptcy for at least a few years as long as I stick to my budget, but money really isnít everything and it never was. Perhaps those are the words of a privileged man who doesnít really know what poverty really feels like. Again, that would be a fair rebuttal; I wasnít raised rich, but lower middle class upbringing in early 90ís Midwest US of A is still a far way from the bread line. Still, thereís no amount of money in the world that makes one feel content with having no self respect. Thereís no amount of money that makes you feel better when people think of you as a joke or a hack or a failure or ugly or stupid or morally empty.

This of course isnít Tenderís fault. He never said anything negative and indeed only said great/supportive things. I guess Iím just angry because he illuminates why Iím a 27 has-been. Iím a touring artist and I feel Iíve become incapable of touring anymore with any actÖwhether I were to go out as a solo artist or do some Fall Out Boy ďReunionĒ [nope: Still never broke up] or start a new bandÖthere will still be 10-20 percent of the audience there to tell me how shitty whatever it is Iím doing is and how much better the thing I used to do was. Not only that, but that 10-20 percent combined with whatever notoriety Fall Out Boy used to have prevents me from having the ability to start over from the bottom again. I canít even go back to playing basement shows. As the saying goes: I couldnít get booked at the opening of a letter.

Itís as though Iíve received some big cosmic sign that says I should disappear. So Iíve kind of disappeared. I know a lot of you have wondered where Iíve been. Iím sure others of you are disappointed to hear Iím still kicking around somewhere (kiddingÖsort of). But the truth is wherever and whoever I am, whoever I am whenever I release whatever release is my next, whoever said recording is recorded with: I will never be the kid from Take This To Your Grave again. And Iím deeply sorry that I canít be, I truly am (no irony, no sarcasm). I hate waking up every morning knowing Iím disappointing so many people. I hate feeling like the awkward adult husk of a discarded once-cute child actor. Iím debating going back to school and learning a proper trade. Itís tempting to say I wonít ever play/tour/record again, but I think thatís probably just pent up poor-me emotional pessimism talking (I suppose can be excused of that though right? I am the guy from That Emo Band after all).

Iíve managed to cobble together some workÖIíve been moonlighting as a professional songwriter/producer for hire and Iíve even been doing a bit of acting here and there. I have no interest (and evidently that sentiment is reciprocated) in performing music publicly any time soon but as Iíve said Iím sure that will happen when it happens. I have been debating releasing the unfinished follow-up to Soul Punk. Weíll see what happens there. Still no word on Fall Out BoyÖI know Joeís working on his new record and Peteís mixtape just came out so I donít expect anything on that front in the near future. I, as always, would be super psyched to do the band again though. Iíve been watching a lot of Downton Abbey and Iíve finally caught up on the Office. Friends have been turning me on to all the records Iíve been too busy to listen to over the past couple years.

I do suggest reading Tenderís column if it sounds interesting to you; Heís a great writer and itís a fun/relatable little story regardless of who the band is within it (film adaptations of Nick Hornby novels should be proof of that).

http://underthegunreview.net/2012/02...retrospective/

Tyler Dumont 02/28/12 08:31 PM

I loved Soul Punk, to be honest. I really hope he can shrug off his "haters" because I think his writing just got better and better which every album FOB did.

DemBitties 02/28/12 08:31 PM

He lost me at "I've finally caught up with the Office."


Alex DiVincenzo 02/28/12 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DemBitties (Post 103876002)
He lost me at "I've finally caught up with the Office."

Losing you on one of the last sentences of a long read - not too shabby.

DemBitties 02/28/12 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex DiVincenzo (Post 103876022)
Losing you on one of the last sentences of a long read - not too shabby.

Truthfully I skimmed to the bottom and just saw that line. haha.

blimpcityhero11 02/28/12 08:33 PM

Somber read from one of my favorite artists. There's too much talent there to say good bye to music and performing though. I really hope Patrick can overcome the naysayers to just enjoy his craft for himself and the people who support him in any endeavor.

Deborah Remus 02/28/12 08:34 PM

Reading this really bummed me out. Fall Out Boy have been my favourite band since the TTTYG days and I still think Folie a Deux is their best record by far. I don't get why more people never grew with them like I did. I can only listen to TTTYG and FUCT because of the nostalgia nowadays, they were capable of writing much better songs and they did. Sucks to hear they actually got booed for it.

Also, Soul Punk had some really good songs. I still love "Allie" just to name one.

LivingTheLyrics 02/28/12 08:34 PM

He goes from saying he may never make music or play shows again, and then immediately says "I'd love to do FOB again"? But, this was an interesting if not uncomfortable read. Surely not what I was expecting.

Manufactured Dreams 02/28/12 08:35 PM

Oh my god :bluesad:

This seriously made me tear up. Even though I'm not one of those fans who make him feel shitty cause I've never done anything he has said I still just feel so terrible that he feels this way. I wish I could just give him a big hug and tell him I love Soul Punk.

steve187 02/28/12 08:35 PM

excellent read. i always enjoy what patrick has to say even though it's pretty sad stuff

kinda feel bad but this made me laugh imagining this
Quote:

the kids that paid for tickets to my solo shows to tell me how much I sucked without Fall Out Boy

AC91 02/28/12 08:36 PM

He has just been progressing musically, not digressing. That article was honestly just depressing. I'm sure there are thousands of people on this site that have been helped by Patrick's music in one way or another, or used it as a "gateway drug" into the bands they listen to now. For him to have the courage to pursue a solo career in the way he did was inspiring. This post was really just disheartening. To see someone so influential get so beaten down is not a very happy thing.

ReadyForAction 02/28/12 08:36 PM

This broke my fucking heart. I love Patrick Stump and whatever else he creates. I feel like I really know him when I hear him perform

rawesome 02/28/12 08:36 PM

I just saw someone link to this on Tumblr and read it. It makes me feel really shitty to read that and just imagine how despondent he probably is. I hope things turn around for him.

gr33ndayfr3ak 02/28/12 08:40 PM

As much as I love Fall Out Boy (Folie a Deux and all), I feel for the guy. He makes an incredibly good and well-worded point in that he's never going to live up to his past in the eyes of other people, even if he's improving in his own.
I was one of the few who actually enjoyed Soul Punk quite a bit, and I'll continue to support Mr. Stump regardless what he decides to do/release in the future. I just hope he doesn't get stuck in the same no-self-respect rut he was in the past.

EastCoastVans 02/28/12 08:40 PM

Wow... what a downer. I wish the dude the best of luck in music, acting, school... whatever path he chooses to take.

bondfreak711 02/28/12 08:40 PM

patrick can do no wrong in my book.

BoxCarRiebe 02/28/12 08:42 PM

i loved soul punk to, and i see what he's saying, alot of my friends wont listen to it just based on the fact that hes the dude from fall out boy. its a shame, people missing out on good records for silly reasons. but i hope he at least takes soul punk out for some sort of tour, those songs seem like they would be a blast to see live

iden22 02/28/12 08:43 PM

I love the guy (and Fall Out Boy) to death, so to read something like this really depresses me because he doesn't deserve any flack. He's such a dedicated and talented musician that has put so much into all the music he's made over the last decade. I really hope Patrick finds comfort in himself.

rhinitus 02/28/12 08:43 PM

Yeah so that shit kinda tore me up. While the FOB records meant so much to me, people should really just get over it. Yes, Soul Punk is way different. I like some of it, don't like some of it. I donno...I guess I always thought Patrick deserved so much more respect than he got. While Pete was being Pete (I guess I don't mean that in a good way or a bad way) Patrick seemed to be presenting the music in a relatable way to everyone that wasn't 14. I think he'll be great regardless...just sad to see all these assholes get to him.

For what it's worth, I still get chills every time I hear Thriller.

phillipjacob 02/28/12 08:43 PM

I support whatever he gets into. I really liked the solo album and that's really low if someone ever makes fun about the guy's health. Stoked for him for doing things for his self. It's interesting to note how stoked he seems to be about doing the band thing though. I'm getting the impression he misses his bandmates.

kskillzz 02/28/12 08:43 PM

Pretty sad read. Couldn't help but have max bemis in mind throughout it, how people online always say "I wish he was depressed and bipolar again", but at least he's able to keep his head up it seems. People online can be really shitty and its suprising that a lot of people actually take the time to tell Patrick in Person and send letters and shit.

BFH Drums 02/28/12 08:43 PM

Can we just focus for a second on how a man who didn't go to college was able to use the word posthumous in a sentence? A word I don't think Ive ever heard, and certainly never used, and I've been attending college for the better part of 8 years. Kudos P Stump.

This broke my goddamn heart though. So much talent potentially going to waste because of a group of morons who can't appreciate him for what he's worth. Makes my damn blood boil.

steve187 02/28/12 08:44 PM

i always thought he would succeed way more as an elliott smith/conor oberst type instead of electro-dance-punk or whatever soul punk is

Jack Appleby 02/28/12 08:45 PM

Waiting to read this until I can dedicate some time to it. I want to read Jacob's piece first.

No matter what these pieces say - it's great to see a musician responding. Very cool for Jacob too.

AgainstTheCurrent 02/28/12 08:46 PM

This article fucking terrifies me.

anamericangod 02/28/12 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kskillzz (Post 103876622)
Pretty sad read. Couldn't help but have max bemis in mind throughout it, how people online always say "I wish he was depressed and bipolar again", but at least he's able to keep his head up it seems. People online can be really shitty and its suprising that a lot of people actually take the time to tell Patrick in Person and send letters and shit.

I had very similar thoughts when I read this. Some people will just never be happy.

AgainstTheCurrent 02/28/12 08:47 PM

For what it's worth, FAD is my fav FOB record and I love Patrick overall, even if Soul Punk wasn't my thing, I still dug it because of his musicality coming through it.

t.web4 02/28/12 08:47 PM

Insightful. Kinda sad but I think he will keep making music.

calystarose 02/28/12 08:49 PM

I wish there was some way to express to this guy how much his art means to me. Since August 2007 when I heard my first Fall Out Boy song to now, his art (both as part of FOB and his other projects) has brought me so much joy. It’s changed my life in so many wonderful ways. I love each and every one of the FOB albums. And I adore Soul Punk. I love different things about each album. Each one does a different thing for me. But they all make my life better. That he feels this way hurts. I want so badly for him to not feel like that. Not a week goes by that I don’t listen to a song that Patrick either created or performed or produced. Every week of my life is filled with his presence and I’m thankful for that. I saw the BND2 tour. I loved the show I got to see. I would have seen multiple shows if I could have. I love FaD, it is an exquisite work of art and emotion. I hope that one day the unpleasant feelings that the band has now associated with the album and that tour will fade. Because it is an amazing album that has brought me a great deal of pleasure and will continue to. Whatever they do, now and in the future, I’m interested. It may not always be my thing, but I hope that they will always find joy and fulfillment.

KenneyBN 02/28/12 08:49 PM

Honestly dont really know what to say after reading that... it was a real bummer thats for sure.

makeasound 02/28/12 08:49 PM

So much respect to Patrick for putting all of this out there. That couldn't have been easy to write but I bet it felt so good to get off his chest at the same time.

It blows my mind that people took such offense to Folie a Deux and Patrick's solo record and what the other FOB members have done since, that they've essentially tormented the members of a band that I'm guessing meant the more-than-the-world to them at some point.

I didn't care for Folie personally either, but I've never let that change my opinions of their other work (which I love), their solo work, or them as people.

blimpcityhero11 02/28/12 08:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anamericangod (Post 103876752)
I had very similar thoughts when I read this. Some people will just never be happy.

And those people will write the BEST records. (totally kidding)

perceptrons 02/28/12 08:49 PM

Folie a Deux is easily the best Fall Out Boy record.

Also, I want Patrick to take his love of soul further. Collaboration album with The Roots would be heavenly.

born2fly800 02/28/12 08:50 PM

This seriously upsets me,
I LOVED the way that FOB progressed with each release AND i really enjoyed Soul Punk...
but even if someone hated everything he wrote (everyone is allowed their own musical opinion) it is SO unbelievably shitty to just tell an artist that "we liked you better fat" or booing a band off stage for new/different music is complete bullshit. If you don't like the music, don't listen and don't go to shows!
It's really disgusting that a fan base can make a musician want to stop making/preforming music.

kismet 02/28/12 08:50 PM

It really bums me out that such a talented guy gets crap for everything he does. I'll always love FOB and I can't wait till they return (if they ever do) but I do like his solo stuff as well. I was more content with solo Patrick than no Patrick. Oh and I love Folie a Deux.

Raarzipan 02/28/12 08:51 PM

Never been a HUGE fall out boy fan, but I have enjoyed a song or two off of each album. Maybe he should take a step back and just do a secret project like the sound of animals fighting? I mean, it sucks to see people upset him so much he really is a talented musician. I hope he finds happiness in whatever route he chooses to take, always comes off as a really good guy.

VoliminalX 02/28/12 08:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BFH Drums (Post 103876632)
Can we just focus for a second on how a man who didn't go to college was able to use the word posthumous in a sentence? A word I don't think Ive ever heard, and certainly never used, and I've been attending college for the better part of 8 years. Kudos P Stump.

This broke my goddamn heart though. So much talent potentially going to waste because of a group of morons who can't appreciate him for what he's worth. Makes my damn blood boil.

You've been in college for 8 years and you've never heard the word posthumous before? Public education at it's best I guess.

jwicklun 02/28/12 08:52 PM

Goddamn, kids go through such effort just to put the guy down. Guy shouldn't be so down on himself, he's an immensely talented songwriter and he seems like an all around great guy. I love Fall Out Boy and I appreciate whatever work he puts out.

Imperfektion 02/28/12 08:52 PM

Man that was depressing to read. I can understand why people dislike his new music but to go out of their way and attend his solo shows just to tell him he sucks is ridiculous.

Amongster 02/28/12 08:52 PM

I really feel bad for Pat after reading this. I had no idea touring for Folie a Deux and Soul Punk were that miserable. I know lots of people prefer his earlier work, but it saddens me so many of them would be disrespectful enough to make sure he knew it.

xBranx 02/28/12 08:53 PM

I feel bad for the guy. Shit like that must suck. I hope he's just having a bad night and is venting. Love his voice.

AC91 02/28/12 08:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhinitus (Post 103876552)
For what it's worth, I still get chills every time I hear Thriller.


Yes

about3fitty 02/28/12 08:54 PM

people are dicks. if you're the kind of person who feels the need to go to a show just to tell someone you think they suck, you seriously need to reevaluate your life.

ThisIsNotDan 02/28/12 08:54 PM

damn, that was a pretty sad read. he seems like a down to earth guy who could use a hug. for what it's worth, Folie A Deux is an awesome pop album. hope he finds some sort of proper emotional release and gets back on his feet

artistanonymous 02/28/12 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhinitus (Post 103876552)
Yeah so that shit kinda tore me up. While the FOB records meant so much to me, people should really just get over it. Yes, Soul Punk is way different. I like some of it, don't like some of it. I donno...I guess I always thought Patrick deserved so much more respect than he got. While Pete was being Pete (I guess I don't mean that in a good way or a bad way) Patrick seemed to be presenting the music in a relatable way to everyone that wasn't 14. I think he'll be great regardless...just sad to see all these assholes get to him.

For what it's worth, I still get chills every time I hear Thriller.

This.

Manufactured Dreams 02/28/12 08:56 PM

HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE HATE FOLIE A DEUX??!!!! That just seems unreal to me! That album was amazing. FOB is definitely a great example that got better and better with each release. Just assholes don't appreciate shit cause its not pop punk enough.

And yes, I have gone from being sad to angry

fallingapart101 02/28/12 08:57 PM

Screw that if I had his talent of performing I would keep doing it. Yeah there will be people that will say this was better than this, but eh who cares do what you want. If people can't move on from that release they have problems or haven't grown up yet. He needs to start marketing himself to a different audience. Look at the Damned Things, Joe and Andy are playing to a different scene. Patrick just needs to go on to something different and play to a different crowd. I don't know what Soul Punk sounded like so I could be wrong that he tried to branch out.

Also same thing happened to Saves The Day, The Ataris, Juliana Theory, etc all those bands. People want to hear the "hits" and have the same album again that made them huge, but they as people want to move forward and most fans don't want them to. That is the problem with this scene, a lot of people can't really adapt to change.

jwicklun 02/28/12 08:57 PM

Seriously, Folie a Deux was critically panned? I thought it was one of their most well received album.

thebestkylever 02/28/12 08:58 PM

dear patrick,

throw away your computer or any other piece of technology you own that spits out the internet. ride a bike, write a story, play music, help others learn to play music, volunteer as much as you can, catch up with old friends, and start enjoying life as a monumentally talented individual. it's a gift, not a burden.

long time fan,

kyle

Manufactured Dreams 02/28/12 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhinitus (Post 103876552)
Yeah so that shit kinda tore me up. While the FOB records meant so much to me, people should really just get over it. Yes, Soul Punk is way different. I like some of it, don't like some of it. I donno...I guess I always thought Patrick deserved so much more respect than he got. While Pete was being Pete (I guess I don't mean that in a good way or a bad way) Patrick seemed to be presenting the music in a relatable way to everyone that wasn't 14. I think he'll be great regardless...just sad to see all these assholes get to him.

For what it's worth, I still get chills every time I hear Thriller.


I still remember the first time I heard that song. It made me feel... just incredible. If I could somehow live in that song I would.