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  -  AP.net Contest: Titus Andronicus/Ceremony Ticket Giveaway (http://www.absolutepunk.net/showthread.php?t=2954522)

Drew Beringer 11/16/12 11:21 AM

AP.net Contest: Titus Andronicus/Ceremony Ticket Giveaway
I just have all these tickets to all these shows, so it only makes sense to give them away to our great users. Today, I have a pair of tickets to give away for the December 2nd, 2012 Titus Andronicus and Ceremony show at Webster Hall in New York City. The person who tells the funniest joke in the replies will win the pair. Stay tuned to the site next week for more ticket giveaways.

Drew Beringer 11/16/12 11:21 AM

kyle is hk 11/16/12 11:29 AM

"The New York Jets"

randys950 11/16/12 11:35 AM

hey i actually heard lincoln was doing good in theaters, which isn't very historically accurate at all

Chris Collum 11/16/12 11:54 AM

What's the easiest way to cure autism?

There is no known cure for autism; research is ongoing.

TheRealJohnOC 11/16/12 12:02 PM

A California business man, while in Japan for some business meetings and a few rounds of golf, arrived in Tokyo a day earlier than expected. Feeling lonely that evening, he employed the services of a beautiful young Japanese girl to be his companion for the evening. Although the Japanese girl spoke very little English and the businessman spoke no Japanese, their passion roared and in the heat of the moment she began yelling "Gama Su!, Gama Su!". Hearing this, the Californian knew he had pleased his female Japanese friend and soon afterwards went to sleep. The next day while playing golf with his Japanese business colleagues, one of his Japanese partners holed his shot from 170 yards away! Everyone went crazy and began yelling excitedly in Japanese. Wanting to impress his friends, the Californian joined in and began yelling, "Gama Su! Gama Su!" Suddenly everyone became quiet. After a moment of silence, one of the Japanese turned to him and asked "Wrong hole? What do you mean wrong hole?"

zbrmike79 11/16/12 12:14 PM

whats the difference between jam and jelly?

you can't jelly your dick down someones throat

....that's awful....

Chris Collum 11/16/12 12:17 PM

Stay classy, AP

gregxthor 11/16/12 12:34 PM


Ponyboy 11/16/12 12:45 PM

Andrew Bynums hair

Lews Therin 11/16/12 02:41 PM

What is the main reason that Santa Claus is so jolly? Because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Ryan Dennehy 11/16/12 02:48 PM

Jake Denning.

Xiegfried 11/16/12 11:15 PM

How are Christmas trees and the Pope similar?

The balls are for decoration.

sneeky 11/17/12 10:25 PM

"This is a Stickles up!" -Patrick Stickles robbing a bank

CrashThisCar789 11/18/12 07:37 AM

A guy from Appalachia is arrested for bestiality. He goes to his friend to ask for help in getting a lawyer. The friend says, "Well, I know two lawyers - the first one is slick as hell, and the second one knows how to pick a jury." The guy decides to hire the attorney who can pick a jury.
The defendant is up on the witness stand being questioned by the prosecutor. "So, Clem, isn't it a fact that on the day in question, you had sexual intercourse with a goat, and when the officers arrived on the scene, the goat was licking off your genitals?"
One juror was overheard whispering to another, "A good goat'll do that."