I was going to post this in the Valentines Day Thread, but figured it would get buried too quickly. Just a quick shout out to lovers on Facebook:
7 Cynical Pleas to the Happy Couples of Facebook on Valentine's Day:
1. Please tell your significant other that you love them on Facebook. I understand a direct expression either verbally or on a private channel (texting, e-mail, etc) is available to you at your convenience, but making it 100% public absolutely solidifies your love for one another. Donít hesitate.
2. Please post pictures of anything you received for Valentines Day. Whether itís chocolates, flowers, or a touching and personal letter, I feel we all deserve to share in your gift. Do not keep this from your Facebook friends. Logical, non-meddling people frown upon private expressions of love.
3. Please encourage everyone on Facebook to "size up" the level of love you have shown with your Valentine. This is a competition. I donít want anyone to think differently.
4. Please eat up our news feed with loving conversation. The back and forth MUST consume no less than 75% of our feeds. If your significant other tells you how much they love you on Facebook, itís expected that you respond no less than 10 times to one another. We all eat it up.
5. Please express that your significant other makes you the "luckiest" or that you have the "best" significant other in the world. There is nothing we all appreciate more than to feel for your absolute dominance in the field of partner selection.
6. Please make sure you MAKE THE MOST out of this day. There are 364 other days in the year that you will not be able to express your love for someone, so make this day count. No regrets.
7. Please take this list personally if you've done any of these things. Please don't laugh about it, because when do I ever joke? Please take offense to it, because that's my goal.
Happy Valentines Day!