I don't love Valentine's day. I love the concept...the idea that everybody is loving, and life is romantic, and happy, but I dislike the actuality of Valentine's day. I don't understand it, and I know that people dislike what they don't understand (I see this all the time when it comes to addressing things such as Addiction and Self-injury), so if you're a fan of Valentine's day, why is it that you feel the way you do? :)
I'm going on 21 years of not having a valentine, but I love the holiday for what it is a reminder for us to do. I always celebrate the holiday with some of my closest friends, and it's honestly more fun than I ever anticipate it being.
Hey quick question about UChapters, I'm still a junior in high school so I've got a bit to go but I was just wondering if anyone thinks I'll be able to start a UChapter at my future college while I play a sport or should I just choose a college that already has a UChapter. TWLOHA has been a huge part of my life and I wear the dogtag everyday to promote you guys and to remind myself of the journey that I've been through to get where I am today. I play golf and will most likely be getting a scholarship but my dream is to eventually intern for TWLOHA and I would love to be a part of a UChapter.
i'm at TX State and we just started our uchap last semester. Our president and VP were both resident assistants at the time, working, and involved in many things on campus. Even with their busy lives, and me being a freshman who still doesn't know crap about campus, we've begun to make our mark. So i'd definitely say you should go for it if the college you go to doesn't have one yet =)
i wanted to start a storytellers chapter at my school, and i was about to go tell my favourite teacher if she'd help but i chickened out, because i was scared of people making fun of the "broken" people D:
i feel the same way i want to start a story tellers thing, but havent been able to do it..
This has just been an awful 2 weeks for me. My one roommate/best friend (I have 2) got mad and stopped talking to me and our other roommate when we brought up an issue with our guest policy, so now I'm living with someone who won't even look at me. One of the people that helped start my complete downward spiral 8 years ago (when I began self-harming and not realizing it was an actual problem) came back into my life and has been making everything worse. I'm just never genuinely happy anymore, I'm usually just a constant state of indifference or sadness with some really happy days mixed in (mostly concerts). I just want to be happy with a few bad days mixed in, I'm sick of it being the other way around.
I want to be finally content with myself, but being told that I'm ugly and worthless so many times just made me believe that I am and it's hard to change that way of thinking. All of this just made me start self harming again, as much and even more, than I did at my lowest point 8 years ago.
To top everything off, my grandpa who's young and perfectly healthy had surgery last week but wasn't feeling well after. My Dad flew out to Minnesota to see him and help my grandma with him but when I got back from class my Dad called me and told me he didn't make it. I was shocked, hysterical, and heartbroken because it was completely unexpected and I never had to deal with something like that, especially not on top of everything else. The ironic part was that the morning before (Tuesday) I made the decision (with my 3 friends help) and called Student Health Services to make my first ever therapy appointment which was supposed to be today.
I've been told that I'm worthless just so many times, especially because I don't have a guy in my life, so today is always hard. But this Valentine's Day in particular is even harder because today was the day of my Grandpa's first memorial service and I couldn't be there because I'm at school, and it's just been so hard having my family be all together to support each other but my sister and I are isolated at school all alone.
I want to get better, but I can't help but feeling like I'm not worth it because other people have much worse problems and have been through much worse. I feel like right now, I'm a waste of a life.
One of the only things helping me to convince myself to push on, is watching the TWLOHA videos, and Jamie speaking. Jamie is my inspiration, hero, and the reason why I realized that what I'm going through is an issue and I shouldn't have to deal with it. I keep trying to push on and I made that phone call to seek help/treatment so that I can get better and be able to have the opportunity to meet my hero, Jamie Tworkowski.
Sorry this was so long, I just needed to get it out.
You are most definitely not worthless. And yeah... any nice guy could say that. But I honestly believe it. I can hear your cries through your entry & it breaks my heart into a few pieces. You're a very smart girl. Current friendships may not reflect that integrity, but God is going to do something so wonderful for you. Please keep fighting and submit your feelings to level of love and let others take care of u. God bless!