[likedyingy0ung]

I went for a walk tonight, a bit past curfew
Couldn’t do much to shake your touch,
A phantom with tangled hair
I kept my eyes taped to my own feet,
Breathed more quietly than a wounded animal
Discarded upon the side of a highway like
A martyr to a god I once knew the face of.
All I wanted tonight was to memorize
The way the city looked dipped in mist,
All I wanted was to memorize the way my city looked
Before I razed it all to bits.
Something made the outlines of every building seem more pale.
It makes me want to scream at every passing car,
How much I’ve missed you.
And all these cars, all these streets, all these fields, all the beaches and their
Waves are ours!
Even if they erased the footprints!
I will taste the air past midnight without thinking of you.
It’s like a yearning to be clean, like a constantly ending dream,
Like a want to be better,
Makes me feel like every step I take is potent,
Makes me feel like all my rambling words could soon be relished,
Like I know the sun will be coloured honey when it rises,
Oh, I am almost always awake when the sun rises.
My head becomes so light when all the phantoms go to sleep,
My fingers grow more nimble than newly sharpened knives.
Every flavor of rum that has ever made me sedated,
Every pornographic lyric of graffiti I have penned on the underside of benches,
They all feel ready to explode inside my lips,
Like a need to be cleaner,
Like a want to be better,
Like a thought about the lily hue of your arms,
Like saying ‘fuck it’ to always writing about nature,
Like leaving home for the first time,
Like pretending your friends are not all gone.
The cracking sound against the pavement is my phone,
And my fingers are shaking as I step out from the thunder,
Use my last spare bits of change to buy an umbrella.
I’m not used up quite yet,
Not used, no, not quite yet.
Your second guesses are like a bible
I haven’t taken to heart quite yet,
But there’s still time,
Before July comes,
What is mine is yours,
and what is yours is mine:
My lips are splitting cause I want to be cleaner,
Cause I want to better,
Involuntarily my mind drowns in the porcelain I couldn’t forget,
And I don’t know my own nature,
But I will learn to be purer.
It’s two hours after curfew and I haven’t turned around.