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12:26 PM on 11/13/12 
#1
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tortags
Stuck Like Ghosts Made to Disappear
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Malvern, AR
Male
I'm tired of wearing a mask to please others. Maybe I enjoy being an asshole, and hate being a "preffered being."

Where the problem comes in is that, I have to be someone else other than who I am in order to keep all who've been close to me stay there, or I end up pushing them away. It's hard to not snap off with sarcasm or a douche comment when someone says something obvious, stupid, or completely irrelevent.

I want to be an asshole when someone ask me to get them something that's right next to them when their too freaking "busy" to move an arm.

Shit like that pisses me off, but when I even try to confront them, I'm an asshole.

My conclusion is, that, in order to make everyone happy, I have to be a push over and overly nice person.

I want to just say fuck them all, but I care for them (Family, Friends, etc.) so that I don't want to lose them.

I know asking for help on ap.net is like asking a bunch of 2 year olds which apple is which, and only a few will be helpful, but I am giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Any HELPFUL suggestions or stupid comments? Feel free to relate and/or share experiences.
12:43 PM on 11/13/12 
#2
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BridgeLL
Registered User
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Oregon
Female - 34 Years Old
I completely understand. Nothing irritates me more than blatant insolence. My brother is the same way, and so is my best friend. It's really hard not to be an asshole.

Go smoke. It makes it easier to excuse the small stuff and put things in perspective.

I hate to use this phrase, but when I was your age it was way worse than it is for me now. (Age displayed on this site is older than I actually am.)

Antidepressants helped for me a TON too, but they're not for everyone. My brother won't touch them.

Prozac was the best for me, made me not even care about the little things. Plus I quit following people home who cut me off on my commute an hour ago lol jk I still follow them, I just don't get out and start screaming. Lol.

But yeah. Smoke.
12:49 PM on 11/13/12 
#3
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sjb2k1
8-6, double check my wang
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the bull city
Female - 31 Years Old
self-care is the most important thing. stop worrying about pleasing others and making them happy. this is not to say, become a total dick, but don't be a pushover.
01:39 PM on 11/13/12 
#4
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Portugal4142
@BrandonMir
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Pa
Male - 28 Years Old
There are dumb people everywhere. The Walking Dead is practically based on a true story. Keep a sarcastic response handy but only use it when you absolutely have to.
01:44 PM on 11/13/12 
#5
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tortags
Stuck Like Ghosts Made to Disappear
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Malvern, AR
Male
I completely understand. Nothing irritates me more than blatant insolence. My brother is the same way, and so is my best friend. It's really hard not to be an asshole.

Go green and smoke. It makes it easier to excuse the small stuff and put things in perspective.

I hate to use this phrase, but when I was your age it was way worse than it is for me now. (Age displayed on this site is older than I actually am.)

Antidepressants helped for me a TON too, but they're not for everyone. My brother won't touch them.

Prozac was the best for me, made me not even care about the little things. Plus I quit following people home who cut me off on my commute an hour ago lol jk I still follow them, I just don't get out and start screaming. Lol.

But yeah. Smoke.

Thanks, definately will think about it.

self-care is the most important thing. stop worrying about pleasing others and making them happy. this is not to say, become a total dick, but don't be a pushover.

Oh, I've been following this guideline very close... It's just been getting harder to continue.

There are dumb people everywhere. The Walking Dead is practically based on a true story. Keep a sarcastic response handy but only use it when you absolutely have to.

Trust me, I keep many in handy... A bit overloaded if you ask me.
02:36 PM on 11/13/12 
#6
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movingxpictures
Is it a dream keeping you awake?
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Dela-where?
Female
This just made me think a lot of objectivism and Ayn Rand for some reason.
02:50 PM on 11/13/12 
#7
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BridgeLL
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Oregon
Female - 34 Years Old
I still have episodes where I snap and sarcastically rip someone a new one. But you get to the point that you can't let yourself be that way. For example:

This girl at my work loved to do the morning bullshit thing, you know what I mean... She would over-enthusiastically greet everyone with an obnoxious morning exclamation. Well when I walked in, she gushed her excitement about the workday and I snapped.

She got right up in my face and did her loud, morning thing. To which I replied that if she spoke to me again, I would cut open her stomach and strangle her with her own intestines.

While my boss had the same sense of humor as me, she couldn't condone that. I didn't get in trouble, but I could tell my time was limited, so I transferred to another office not too long afterward.

Part of me regretted losing my temper that noticeably, but the other part of me will never forget the smug smile that dribbled off that jerk's face when I said that... Heh heh heh, warms my heart to this day.

Anyway, you don't have to be a pushover, you just have to learn to recognize your triggers and remove yourself. I don't know... I guess that's part of growing up. Sigh.
03:21 PM on 11/13/12 
#8
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decel241
Check This Shit Out
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Long Island, NY
Male - 24 Years Old
Let's start with the obvious: Everyone lives in this world full of stupid and annoying people that you're talking about, not just you. I would never insult you with the assumption that you were unaware of that, but its an important point to start my thoughts with.

Now, does everyone have the same issues that you have? No. Most people (myself not included) have no problem dealing with the things that seem so irritating to you.

So the question is, why? Why, when faced with stupidity that all of the general population deals with and contributes to, do you feel the need to be a sarcastic asshole?

Simply because, you are a sarcastic asshole.

Everyone else isn't the problem, you are.

You enjoy being a sarcastic asshole?

If you really care about your friends and family, which I know that you do, then you should never feel the need to be a dick to them.

Sarcasm is BY FAR THE MOST unattractive quality you can have. Its a way you can be an asshole with discretion. Its dishonest.

When's the last time you met a really sarcastic person and thought, "Wow, what an awesome person. I wanna take shit from them all the time." Never. You never thought that. Sarcastic people SUCK. The next time someone asks you to pass the salt when its closer to them, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING PASS THE SALT TO THE STUPID LAZY PERSON. Wouldn't that make you feel good about yourself? That you helped the unreasonable person instead of blowing up on them?

You need a new perspective. Whether or not you can even admit it to yourself, you blame other people for why you're so angry. Take responsibility. You're probably not half as mad at all of them as you are at yourself.

I say all of this, having gone through and realized this myself. This is the world you will be living for your entire life. The next time you feel the need to be a fucking douchebag, take a breath, and say something nice instead. YOU WILL FEEL WAY BETTER.

Is there someone you know thats a dick that you hate hanging out with? I bet theres a bunch of people that think that about you too.

Don't blame the world for making you wear a mask. You're the one who thinks you're true self wont be liked by anybody. And you're probably right.

SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
04:36 PM on 11/13/12 
#9
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tommylin
Regular Member
No Avatar Selected
Boston, MA
Male - 23 Years Old
I'm tired of wearing a mask to please others. Maybe I enjoy being an asshole, and hate being a "preffered being."

Where the problem comes in is that, I have to be someone else other than who I am in order to keep all who've been close to me stay there, or I end up pushing them away. It's hard to not snap off with sarcasm or a douche comment when someone says something obvious, stupid, or completely irrelevent.

I want to be an asshole when someone ask me to get them something that's right next to them when their too freaking "busy" to move an arm.

Shit like that pisses me off, but when I even try to confront them, I'm an asshole.

My conclusion is, that, in order to make everyone happy, I have to be a push over and overly nice person.

I want to just say fuck them all, but I care for them (Family, Friends, etc.) so that I don't want to lose them.

I know asking for help on ap.net is like asking a bunch of 2 year olds which apple is which, and only a few will be helpful, but I am giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Any HELPFUL suggestions or stupid comments? Feel free to relate and/or share experiences.

You have to do with what feels right. If you don't feel like being fake in order to maintain your social circle is right....then your correct. And follow through with your feeling. At the same time you need to put some thought into the whole thing. Trust your instincts man, they don't lie.
09:17 PM on 11/13/12 
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ParkwayTom
Forgive me, Nashville
ParkwayTom's Avatar
Nashville, Tennessee
Male - 25 Years Old
Let's start with the obvious: Everyone lives in this world full of stupid and annoying people that you're talking about, not just you. I would never insult you with the assumption that you were unaware of that, but its an important point to start my thoughts with.

Now, does everyone have the same issues that you have? No. Most people (myself not included) have no problem dealing with the things that seem so irritating to you.

So the question is, why? Why, when faced with stupidity that all of the general population deals with and contributes to, do you feel the need to be a sarcastic asshole?

Simply because, you are a sarcastic asshole.

Everyone else isn't the problem, you are.

You enjoy being a sarcastic asshole?

If you really care about your friends and family, which I know that you do, then you should never feel the need to be a dick to them.

Sarcasm is BY FAR THE MOST unattractive quality you can have. Its a way you can be an asshole with discretion. Its dishonest.

When's the last time you met a really sarcastic person and thought, "Wow, what an awesome person. I wanna take shit from them all the time." Never. You never thought that. Sarcastic people SUCK. The next time someone asks you to pass the salt when its closer to them, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING PASS THE SALT TO THE STUPID LAZY PERSON. Wouldn't that make you feel good about yourself? That you helped the unreasonable person instead of blowing up on them?

You need a new perspective. Whether or not you can even admit it to yourself, you blame other people for why you're so angry. Take responsibility. You're probably not half as mad at all of them as you are at yourself.

I say all of this, having gone through and realized this myself. This is the world you will be living for your entire life. The next time you feel the need to be a fucking douchebag, take a breath, and say something nice instead. YOU WILL FEEL WAY BETTER.

Is there someone you know thats a dick that you hate hanging out with? I bet theres a bunch of people that think that about you too.

Don't blame the world for making you wear a mask. You're the one who thinks you're true self wont be liked by anybody. And you're probably right.

SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

09:27 PM on 11/13/12 
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aiNsorrow
Moron Abuser
No Avatar Selected
QueeN CiTy
Male - 22 Years Old
Let's start with the obvious: Everyone lives in this world full of stupid and annoying people that you're talking about, not just you. I would never insult you with the assumption that you were unaware of that, but its an important point to start my thoughts with.

Now, does everyone have the same issues that you have? No. Most people (myself not included) have no problem dealing with the things that seem so irritating to you.

So the question is, why? Why, when faced with stupidity that all of the general population deals with and contributes to, do you feel the need to be a sarcastic asshole?

Simply because, you are a sarcastic asshole.

Everyone else isn't the problem, you are.

You enjoy being a sarcastic asshole?

If you really care about your friends and family, which I know that you do, then you should never feel the need to be a dick to them.

Sarcasm is BY FAR THE MOST unattractive quality you can have. Its a way you can be an asshole with discretion. Its dishonest.

When's the last time you met a really sarcastic person and thought, "Wow, what an awesome person. I wanna take shit from them all the time." Never. You never thought that. Sarcastic people SUCK. The next time someone asks you to pass the salt when its closer to them, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING PASS THE SALT TO THE STUPID LAZY PERSON. Wouldn't that make you feel good about yourself? That you helped the unreasonable person instead of blowing up on them?

You need a new perspective. Whether or not you can even admit it to yourself, you blame other people for why you're so angry. Take responsibility. You're probably not half as mad at all of them as you are at yourself.

I say all of this, having gone through and realized this myself. This is the world you will be living for your entire life. The next time you feel the need to be a fucking douchebag, take a breath, and say something nice instead. YOU WILL FEEL WAY BETTER.

Is there someone you know thats a dick that you hate hanging out with? I bet theres a bunch of people that think that about you too.

Don't blame the world for making you wear a mask. You're the one who thinks you're true self wont be liked by anybody. And you're probably right.

SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

Hippie.
12:09 AM on 11/14/12 
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blackmold
Bro
blackmold's Avatar
Lyndora, PA
Male - 23 Years Old
Nobody's true personallity is that of a sarcastic asshole. You choose to be that way. Just like you can choose to say something nice instead of insulting someone. The reason sarcasm comes so easily and is your first response is because that's what you've been practicing so you're good at it. But if you would, as the guy above said, stop and think before you say something rude, eventually you'll start being a nice guy.

Also, being nice does not mean being a pushover.
08:20 AM on 11/14/12 
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johnnyferris
Inside of your heart always
johnnyferris's Avatar
Anaheim,California
Male - 20 Years Old
Hey guyz, I'm alien and I'd appreciate it if you helped me find my ship so I can be myself again. k thx
10:28 AM on 11/14/12 
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tortags
Stuck Like Ghosts Made to Disappear
tortags's Avatar
Malvern, AR
Male
Let's start with the obvious: Everyone lives in this world full of stupid and annoying people that you're talking about, not just you. I would never insult you with the assumption that you were unaware of that, but its an important point to start my thoughts with.

Now, does everyone have the same issues that you have? No. Most people (myself not included) have no problem dealing with the things that seem so irritating to you.

So the question is, why? Why, when faced with stupidity that all of the general population deals with and contributes to, do you feel the need to be a sarcastic asshole?

Simply because, you are a sarcastic asshole.

Everyone else isn't the problem, you are.

You enjoy being a sarcastic asshole?

If you really care about your friends and family, which I know that you do, then you should never feel the need to be a dick to them.

Sarcasm is BY FAR THE MOST unattractive quality you can have. Its a way you can be an asshole with discretion. Its dishonest.

When's the last time you met a really sarcastic person and thought, "Wow, what an awesome person. I wanna take shit from them all the time." Never. You never thought that. Sarcastic people SUCK. The next time someone asks you to pass the salt when its closer to them, WHY DON'T YOU SUCK IT UP AND FUCKING PASS THE SALT TO THE STUPID LAZY PERSON. Wouldn't that make you feel good about yourself? That you helped the unreasonable person instead of blowing up on them?

You need a new perspective. Whether or not you can even admit it to yourself, you blame other people for why you're so angry. Take responsibility. You're probably not half as mad at all of them as you are at yourself.

I say all of this, having gone through and realized this myself. This is the world you will be living for your entire life. The next time you feel the need to be a fucking douchebag, take a breath, and say something nice instead. YOU WILL FEEL WAY BETTER.

Is there someone you know thats a dick that you hate hanging out with? I bet theres a bunch of people that think that about you too.

Don't blame the world for making you wear a mask. You're the one who thinks you're true self wont be liked by anybody. And you're probably right.

SO FUCKING DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

If the same happened to you, why are you still being a prick about the matter? 'Cause this didn't help, man. How? You lost my attention talking to me like you know me. Only my friends have done this... and that's because they knew me. But thanks, some of it did help me, and I appreciate it.
12:35 PM on 11/14/12 
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upthepunx
Regular Member
upthepunx's Avatar
San Diego, CA
Male - 25 Years Old
Hey, congratulations, you're human. And you think, and feel, and use introspection to explain all of these negative thoughts you have. It's better you do it this way, than with your fists. Here's the good part, you're only 19... you've got plenty of years ahead to change it.

I always used to think that when I was 18/19/20 that working, and life was some sort of soul-quest where I venture out into the mist and end up doing something that I love.

It's not true that way, the rest of your life is what you make it. And it's likely that these first few years of your legal adulthood are going to be the full of the most hard work, full of sucking it up and taking it. Hopefully there's a lot of fun you're having too, and if this isn't true, you can fix it.
You're obviously smart enough to understand what you are going through, you have the capability to make this what you want. Your intelligence is going to put you ahead in life eventually. It will count for something, and you'll see it become more meaningful the older you get, just work hard and keep pushing.



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