[Susanna]

Originally Posted by chassmariee

I think if you can tell the internet your sob story then it can't be all that bad. If this truly happened to you, then I am truly sorry for you but I personally think you should save it for the shrinks because nobody likes to throw pity partys, esp ap.net members.

Why was this post even remotely necessary? Why do you feel the need to question the validity of her story? An awful awful thing happened to her and the last thing she needs is to have someone minimize what occured. She has obviously struggled with this for a long time and brushing it off is pretty shitty.



To the OP:
I am very sorry this horrific thing happened to you. You in no way shape or form deserved for this traumatic event to occur. You also did nothing to cause it. You were a victim of a sick, sick individual. I admire you for being brave and strong enough to talk to anyone about this, it must have been so scary to even just say it out loud. Ignore the idiots in this thread who are making it seem like it wasn't a big deal-- it was a huge deal. It never should have happened and I'm sorry that you have had to live with this for so long. I know that you're afraid to talk to your psychiatrist but I think it is really important. You need to start healing.

[alice+interiors]

I think that what has happened to you is terrible - really brings home how real issues like these are, in a way that watching a documentary or hearing about it on the news can't. I don't think you should be blamed/blame yourself for making a thread about this.. maybe we're just odd, but I prefer spilling my problems to people that I don't think will ever really get close to me, or meet me in real life. That said, it does sound like a sensible move to discuss this with a professional, who can be more objective when coming to understand what is eating you away inside, and how best to deal with it. I don't know how much the two are linked but it sounds like this could well be at the root of your original depression.. it sounds to a degree like you have put this to the back of your mind as a very young child and are suffering from it subliminally attacking you. I could be reading this wrong, I don't know. Whatever, I hope you can gradually be okay and that you find the amazing partner you clearly deserve.

[Waldorf]

Originally Posted by phil19

thats intense

i listened to some screamo once and it was pretty intense too

[papa_smurf]

You were 6.
How do you even remember that?
Also, nothing actually happened right? Some guy wanted to bang you, you said no, and he tried to off himself.

Get over it. if you were 10 or 12 or something, sure. but 6?

[Waldorf]

ive never asked a girl to bang me before. maybe this is my problem.

[swirlofhues]

Originally Posted by papa_smurf

You were 6.
How do you even remember that?
Also, nothing actually happened right? Some guy wanted to bang you, you said no, and he tried to off himself.

Get over it. if you were 10 or 12 or something, sure. but 6?

memory is different for everyone, it's not uncommon to remember certain events in your life vividly no matter how old or young you were. how about you get over yourself and look at it from another person's perspective to understand where they're coming from.

[everybodywakeup]

Originally Posted by papa_smurf

You were 6.
How do you even remember that?
Also, nothing actually happened right? Some guy wanted to bang you, you said no, and he tried to off himself.

Get over it. if you were 10 or 12 or something, sure. but 6?

He made me take my clothes off and then he fingered me. As in, he stuck his finger into my six year old vagina. Is that what you wanted to hear?

As far as memory...I remember my 4th birthday very vividly. I remember meeting my great grandparents when I was two. I remember my grandma's 70th birthday party (she's 87 now, so I was three then). I can memorize phone numbers and addresses instantly. Last week I memorized the entire Japanese syllabary, Hiragana, in 5 hours. But I can't remember when my doctor's appointments are. I get sidetracked and am always late cause I forget what I have to do in a particular day half the time. I'm horrible at remembering faces. I'll meet someone new, and 5 minutes later after seeing them again I can't remember their face, just the clothes they were wearing. All through highschool I frequently forgot to do my homework, even after writing it down in multiple places to remind me. Everyone's memory abilities are different.

[everybodywakeup]

Originally Posted by Susanna

To the OP:
I am very sorry this horrific thing happened to you. You in no way shape or form deserved for this traumatic event to occur. You also did nothing to cause it. You were a victim of a sick, sick individual. I admire you for being brave and strong enough to talk to anyone about this, it must have been so scary to even just say it out loud. Ignore the idiots in this thread who are making it seem like it wasn't a big deal-- it was a huge deal. It never should have happened and I'm sorry that you have had to live with this for so long. I know that you're afraid to talk to your psychiatrist but I think it is really important. You need to start healing.

Originally Posted by alice+interiors

I think that what has happened to you is terrible - really brings home how real issues like these are, in a way that watching a documentary or hearing about it on the news can't. I don't think you should be blamed/blame yourself for making a thread about this.. maybe we're just odd, but I prefer spilling my problems to people that I don't think will ever really get close to me, or meet me in real life. That said, it does sound like a sensible move to discuss this with a professional, who can be more objective when coming to understand what is eating you away inside, and how best to deal with it. I don't know how much the two are linked but it sounds like this could well be at the root of your original depression.. it sounds to a degree like you have put this to the back of your mind as a very young child and are suffering from it subliminally attacking you. I could be reading this wrong, I don't know. Whatever, I hope you can gradually be okay and that you find the amazing partner you clearly deserve.

Thanks you guys, both of you made me feel a whole lot better about this. I decided I'm just gonna to talk to my psychologist this coming week and get it over with...it seems like such a cliche but I do feel embarrassed and ashamed about the whole thing even though I know deep down that it's not my fault. That's what's so hard with saying it out loud.

[papa_smurf]

Originally Posted by everybodywakeup

He made me take my clothes off and then he fingered me. As in, he stuck his finger into my six year old vagina. Is that what you wanted to hear?

As far as memory...I remember my 4th birthday very vividly. I remember meeting my great grandparents when I was two. I remember my grandma's 70th birthday party (she's 87 now, so I was three then). I can memorize phone numbers and addresses instantly. Last week I memorized the entire Japanese syllabary, Hiragana, in 5 hours. But I can't remember when my doctor's appointments are. I get sidetracked and am always late cause I forget what I have to do in a particular day half the time. I'm horrible at remembering faces. I'll meet someone new, and 5 minutes later after seeing them again I can't remember their face, just the clothes they were wearing. All through highschool I frequently forgot to do my homework, even after writing it down in multiple places to remind me. Everyone's memory abilities are different.

Yes, that's what I wanted to hear. No point making a mountain out of a mole hill when we don't actually know what we are talking about.

Memory is a wierd thing. I think memory is just a collection of dreams as opposed to an actual recognition of things.
I can't remember shit...I'm hopeless. Maybe I should exercise more.

Do you feel like this 17yr old doughbag molested you specifically? Or is was just a crazy who had a thing for 6 year olds?
Basically, what i'm saying is is that it's his mistake, not yours. I'm sure when he grows up he'll realise what he has done and feel tremendous guilt...and that guilt will lead him to either doing something about it, or having a fucked up life because he is hiding this massive guilt from people.
Or he'll kill himself, either way, justice is served. There isn't anything you can do to erase the past, but you gotta realise that you had nothing to do with it, you were just something for him to play with/experiment/whatever....

Don't take it personally....don't let someone else's fuck up get to you.

[SincerelyMe]

Originally Posted by everybodywakeup

He made me take my clothes off and then he fingered me. As in, he stuck his finger into my six year old vagina. Is that what you wanted to hear?

As far as memory...I remember my 4th birthday very vividly. I remember meeting my great grandparents when I was two. I remember my grandma's 70th birthday party (she's 87 now, so I was three then). I can memorize phone numbers and addresses instantly. Last week I memorized the entire Japanese syllabary, Hiragana, in 5 hours. But I can't remember when my doctor's appointments are. I get sidetracked and am always late cause I forget what I have to do in a particular day half the time. I'm horrible at remembering faces. I'll meet someone new, and 5 minutes later after seeing them again I can't remember their face, just the clothes they were wearing. All through highschool I frequently forgot to do my homework, even after writing it down in multiple places to remind me. Everyone's memory abilities are different.

This is called prosopagnosia (face blindness). I've struggled with it too. I remember when I was a little kid at camp, I had a conversation with a girl at the pool, and a few hours later I saw her again (I didn't recognize her - we changed back into regular clothes) and introduced myself. She looked at me like I was crazy.

[Susanna]

I'm surprised at how bad some people's memories are. I remember when I used to sleep in a crib, when I stopped being breastfed, when I was potty training, and other specific memories from around that time. All of my memories are extremely vivid and aren't a result of being told stories by my mom-- I remember a lot of things that didn't involve her and that she didn't know about. Its weird that some people can't remember being 6-- I remember exactly what I wore to my first day of kindergarten hahaha.

[papa_smurf]

Originally Posted by Susanna

I'm surprised at how bad some people's memories are. I remember when I used to sleep in a crib, when I stopped being breastfed, when I was potty training, and other specific memories from around that time. All of my memories are extremely vivid and aren't a result of being told stories by my mom-- I remember a lot of things that didn't involve her and that she didn't know about. Its weird that some people can't remember being 6-- I remember exactly what I wore to my first day of kindergarten hahaha.

Thats insane.
I can't even remember wearing nappies let alone being potty trained.
I can't remember what I wore to school, although I've seen a photo of it...I don't recall it though.
being breasfed? I don't know if i'd want to remember that...
I think for some reason I can remember being fed some babyfood....banana custard flavour...
But I don't remember eating it, just my dad walking over to me with a spoonful in one hand and the jar in the other.
And my mum saying something about how i'd love it...
End of memory.