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Ke$ha - Animal Album Cover
Author's Rating
Vocals 8.5
Musicianship 6.75
Lyrics 3.5
Production 8.75
Creativity 4.25
Lasting Value 4
Reviewer Tilt 7
Final Verdict: 61%
Member Ratings
Vocals 3.02
Musicianship 2.77
Lyrics 2.55
Production 4.16
Creativity 2.63
Lasting Value 2.33
Reviewer Tilt 2.42
Average: 28%

Ke$ha - Animal

Reviewed by: Blake Solomon (01/03/10)
Ke$haAnimal
Record Label: RCA Records
Release Date: January 5, 2010


Women are liberated! Forget Sloppy Joe Night because that’s what HE wants. Forget wearing pantsuits to work. Definitely forget weird fetish porn. This country’s gender-fueled glass ceiling is shattered with what analysts are calling, “An errant nail filer.” And it’s about time, too. My mom was always the one who told me I wasn’t stupid, but until recently she was forbidden to speak when my father was within earshot. So at least for me, Women’s Lib is a self-esteem booster. I’d buy stock in females if that wasn’t one windowless shack away from child prostitution. Elizabeth Cady Stanton just exposed her ankles somewhere.

Which brings us to Ke$ha, who has a dollar sign in her name. It’s ironic because it means nothing, and yet the hope is that we incorrectly judge her as an insipid pop star – which, according to her, she isn’t - despite her songs about cocks, wieners and dicks. She is Lady GaGa and Millionaires and boobalicious Katy Perry. Mystery solved. Ke$ha addresses backstabbing bitches and on-the-go Whiskey with the help of a weird producer named Dr. Luke. He creates his neo-disco beats from a gold-plated loft filled (I’m sure!) with decapitated Barbie dolls and disproportionate amounts of beef jerky. And all Ke$ha has to say is, “I just wanted to make music that’s fun.” Boom, absolved! Your little sister will get pregnant to Animal, then listen to it again on her way to the clinic, and then once more when she gets her stomach pumped after a night of champagne binge drinking. It’s all stupid and hilarious and absolutely, positively, senselessly terrifying. Stop rolling your eyes when your grandparents bemoan our shitastic generation; they finally have considerable leverage. Ke$ha is MeeMaw’s worst nightmare and Virginia Woolf's dream come true (and not just because she was a raging lesbian!).

Each beat is dirtier than the next, but at least they match the lyrical content: “Dinosaur” is about old wrinkly wieners. “Party At A Rich Dude’s House” is about world peace. I bob my head until I vomit. But this is the world we live in and it’s the world we created. There’s no sense wasting time being jaded about Animal. “Tik Tok” deserves its spot at the top of the Billboard charts, and its knob-turning Jersey Shore beat makes perfect sense. Women have fought hard for the right to release albums like Animal. So when I say that this is an awesome record, I sincerely mean it. Each song will become the soundtrack for Mean Girls soccer moms and pre-teen pre-sluts everywhere. Listen to Animal.


Recommended If You Like: mini skirts


groggywww.myspace.com/kesha
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 184.
06:00 PM on 01/03/10
#2
Matt Chylak
contextblues.wordpress.co m
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haha way to make me feel bad after JUST submitting a review of this
06:10 PM on 01/03/10
#3
IntoTheSun
my blood flows harshly
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Quote:
Recommended If You Like: mini skirts

Haha, but miniskirts were soo 5 years ago. Duh.
06:15 PM on 01/03/10
#4
Dystroxia
We found love in a hopeless place
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lol, I like the last paragraph
06:17 PM on 01/03/10
#5
tommy's ghost
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Hahahahahahaha.
07:54 PM on 01/03/10
#6
Jeremy Aaron
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Blake LOLomon delivers the goods once again. I sincerely hate "TiK ToK" enough not to listen to this, though. Sorry.
09:51 PM on 01/03/10
#7
TheInfamousAdam
Infamous since '85
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Just listened to some of that on the myspace as a joke... hahahahaha

This really exemplifies what's wrong with the world!
12:57 AM on 01/04/10
#8
gr33ndayfr3ak
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I honestly thought that "Tik Tok" was Millionaires the first time I heard it, and I hated it. I love it a little more every time I hear it, though..and since it's all over the radio, I actually really like it now haha. I'm intrigued, to say the least, to hear the album.

And wonderful, LOL-inducing review, as always, Blake.
05:23 AM on 01/04/10
#9
the1
Blink One Eighty Who??
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That first paragraph was the best thing I've read on this site.
I downloaded this the other day....dare I unzip it?
06:14 AM on 01/04/10
Sarcasm
lostinthesound.com
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Nice review, lol
06:14 AM on 01/04/10
Momo32T
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Very clever Blake, especially the line
Quote:
Stop rolling your eyes when your grandparents bemoan our shitastic generation; they finally have considerable leverage.
Haha. But in all seriousness someone could probably write a lengthy theory of how Ke$ha’s music is tied to feminism. The same was done for Eminem and the desire to covet blackness.
06:29 AM on 01/04/10
Travis Parno
my sensible heart
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holy crap. amazing stuff, or rant, or whatever it was. outstanding
06:30 AM on 01/04/10
scott325
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Regardless of how much merit her music has, I think she's hot as hell. That's all that really matters here.
07:02 AM on 01/04/10
deezee
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07:06 AM on 01/04/10
live.
Feenay! Fee hee hee hee heenay!
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Revolutionary record
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