Flight of the Conchords – Flight of the Conchords
Record Label: Sub Pop Records
Release Date: April 22, 2008
There are a lot of things that make me an odd man out on this website. People skills, for one, are something I have and you don’t. Stop reading this and go f**k. I won’t go into the rest of them because you’re going to end up crying. Which, amazingly, brings me to how we're similar; I love a good ol’ cry. I get down to depressing, cliché, feminist-unapproved rock music. I like Bayside because they’re soooo dark! Tears, sobbing, weeping, tissues full of snot; I love it all. Unlike watching the news everyday, sad music has yet to make me jaded or skeptical. Maestros penning salty recollections aimed at girls who, somehow, found it in their black hearts to cheat on said maestros never get old. Poor dudes, but look who’s laughing now! Such treachery will forever be set to a striking power chord progression. Bitches.
That being said, why the hell am I reviewing this Flight of the Conchords crap? How am I supposed to wax nostalgic about a girl that dissed me to a binary solo? F**k these guys. At least Rhys Darby knows my pain: “Now that you are gone / I'll never see you here for tech repair / Wish you knew how much I loved your legs / And your hair / Leggie Blonde, goodbye.” That’s my stuff right there; pain, agony and a bunch of things you’re too afraid to actually say out loud. I can also empathize with the Hiphopopotamus. He’s misunderstood, but I think it’s due to more universal circumstances than some hottie in heels. I’ll stretch for our connection because the handclaps and playful acoustic guitar would have me on the dance floor if I weren’t too busy being aloof somewhere. “Think About It” probably pisses Bono off because Flight of the Conchords wrote it first. He’s still all about fighting for the mistreated, right? He’d probably add a killer guitar solo (and reference to Africa) to the bridge, but I happen to think the parlor piano and snaps/A capella sections work just fine. Like I said, it’s hard for me to connect with these songs. My knowledge of robots and baguettes is quite limited. Sexy disco songs about Presbyterians go right over my head.
“Inner City Pressure” uses a formula perfected by the Pet Shop Boys (simple synths, affected vocals, no enthusiasm) to discuss the perils of living in huge urban sprawls. (“So you think maybe you'll be a prostitute / Just to pay for your lessons, you're learning the flute / Ladies wouldn't pay you very much for this / Looks like you'll never be a concert flautist.”) Disclaimer: I don’t actually know anything about the Pet Shop Boys. Wikipedia tells me they’re from the 80’s and that means two things: A.) They suck B.) They’re old! Flight of the Conchords should try and find better mentors. “Mutha’uckas,” on the other hand, is yet another song about ATM’s and fruit. How cliché. Apparently New Zealanders hate modern economics and love Gnarls Barkley. “Bowie” is an ode to a cross-dressing female from the 80’s. I heard her song in Guitar Hero (96% on Expert!), so she’s cool with me. The song is pretty eclectic with its talks of space and other crap. I don’t know what words like “transmit,” “Astroturf” or “funky” mean, but I respect Flight of the Conchords for trying to bolster my vocab. That’s really what this album is all about, I think: vocabulary and the value of having musical influences everyone else hates. When these dudes write a Boys Like Girls song about killing their true loves with unicycles, call me.
Recommended If You Like: Stephen Lynch, Eminem feat. Bubba Sparxxx, JIMMY FALLON, Crazy Dogggz, "Tollbooth Willy" meets, well, nothing, I just like that song