It's both the pain and the sensation, it's just the anamalistic and raw nature of it I like. I'm not sure what fully draws me to it, maybe the intimacy of it? I guess I'll have to look into it more. I've joined friends at kink events and a lot of it doesn't turn me on. I mean, a lot of it is interesting and what not but I wouldn't take part in it. I do find the violet wand appealing though.
Have you asked to sample the violet want? I'm sure they'd let you have a little demo just on your arm or something. Haven't been able to sample it, so I can't tell you what it feels like. Most of the scenes you saw were probably power play heavy, which is hard to relate to when you're just exploring sensation type stuff. As a side note, using things like violet wand might take away from the animalistic and rawness that you like, if that makes any sense. Blindfolding often heightens sensation play and adds to intimacy while still enabling you to move in a natural way with your partner, but it all really depends on how you interpret it. Some people find it dominating while other people just find it good for enhancing the other senses. I could go more in depth but blocks of text are no fun! Just let me know if you want more suggestions.
So in a nut shell I'd suggest sampling stuff at your next kink event, and trying other forms of basic sensation play to flesh out what really pulls your kink strings.