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09:55 PM on 03/20/13 
#1
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FrancisJones
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Male - 18 Years Old
I see you and you see me
But you turn your head eventually
And walk away

You see me and I see you
But you walk right by "just passing through"
My mind today

I wish we were eye to eye
So I wouldn't have to wonder why
You walk away
12:49 PM on 03/24/13 
#2
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lfdfforever
Always Ending
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hell mi.
Male - 24 Years Old
Abstract and subtle.
02:41 PM on 03/25/13 
#3
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a speedo model
an enthusiast
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Chicago, IL
Male - 27 Years Old
I honestly do not know what I think about this...I like the approach and idea. It is very subtle. But it feels too easy to dismiss...not sure
06:09 PM on 03/31/13 
#4
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FrancisJones
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Male - 18 Years Old
Thanks for the comments guys! So i'm assuming to make it better try to make it more direct?
07:51 AM on 04/03/13 
#5
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matmanok
matmanok
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Oxford, UK
Male
The structure is fine but some of the words don't flow as smoothly as they could. The imagery works well. Keep it up!



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