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Almighty Proxy, The - Hello Garden, I Am a Monster Album Cover
Author's Rating
Vocals 8.5
Musicianship 9
Lyrics 4.75
Production 7
Creativity 8
Lasting Value 9
Reviewer Tilt 9
Final Verdict: 79%
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Almighty Proxy, The - Hello Garden, I Am a Monster

Reviewed by: chelseaxsmilexD (06/27/09)
The Almighty Proxy - Hello Garden, I Am a Monster
Release Date: April 13, 2009
Record Label: Unsigned


The Almighty Proxy is a five-piece, experimental post-hardcore band that recently put out their first EP, Hello Garden, I Am A Monster. They compare to the mathcore stylings of Fear Before (The March of Flames), while having that raw feel of Every Time I Die. They already have a surprisingly large fanbase, even with only one EP and no record label.

How Is It?

The album is a six song EP that starts out with "Loveable Leeches," which leaves you with an impression of what is to come. However, it has a strong following that, unlike most albums, doesn't leave you with that longing for a song just like it. "The Big Bad Wolf and His Fancy New Cashmere Sweater" is my least favorite song on the album, as it seems to never regain the chest-crushingness that it began with. The guitars seemed to just lay back after the breakdown, and the drums lost their intrigue. Fortunately, "Mirror Coated People Make Good Magicians" comes next. The guitars throughout the song start to nail your limbs to the floor as the lead vocalist wails and screams in your face to an infectious, unpredictable song that gets you ready for the rest of the album.

The EP ends with "Tossing A Decaying Heart Into the Washing Machine," which has a slow intro that reminds me of the intro to "You Were The Cancer," by Thursday, in the way it leads you into the song with an ominous intro before pummeling away into your ears. I mean that in the best way possible, however.

The only problem with the EP is the lyrics. To me they make no sense and are oftentimes focused on a singular theme. They also make no sense at all, unless if I am way worse at interpereting lyrics than I thought I was. Even so, this EP is a treasure to have and could possibly make The Almighty Proxy a mainstream band with a chance to put a ripple in this stagnant puddle of rainwater we call post-hardcore. With the band's dark and oftentimes intense musicianship, and the devoleped and equally dark vocals, it will surely satisfy.

Recommended If You LikeFear Before The March Of Flames, Every Time I Die, underground experimental post-hardcore.

Displaying posts 1 - 4 of 4
01:09 PM on 07/04/09
AP.net's official punching bag
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chelseaxsmilexD's Avatar
great album... totally worth the $2.95
04:16 PM on 07/30/09
AP.net's official punching bag
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chelseaxsmilexD's Avatar
BTW i found the meaning for the lyrics. They're like prayers?
03:28 PM on 08/03/09
Dymytry Vance
Fuck Relient K!
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Dymytry Vance's Avatar
This album is the shit.
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