The following is a mini interview of generic questions that we posed to all bands that wanted to answer:
Captain FACE- (Euan, vocals) [myspace]
1. How did you get your band name?
I'm pretty sure it was magic mushroom-related; definitely some kind of narcotics anyway. Some of the guys were determined to have some kind of military ranking, i.e. Captain/Sergeant/Colonel etc. And then in a haze, Lee (our guitarist) shouted FACE! In much the same way Brian from Family Guy shouts at Meg in the episode when he becomes a cop and gets addicted to coke - "put down the fork...FACE!"
Anyway, Captain FACE sounded ace at the time - I must stress the emphasis on FACE. Feel free to scream it.
2. How did this band get started?
Four guys started jamming with a fifth member (an absolute headcase, who was obsessed with melodramatic rock opera) on vocals. They chucked the mentalist out (for being mental) and recruited a new more handsome and talented singer - which brought about a harder more punky sound to their music.
3. What bands are you influenced by?
Frank Zappa and the Mothers, Captain Beefheart, The Pixies, Queens of the Stone Ages, Talking Heads, King Crimson, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds and many, many more.
4. If you could tour with any bands, past or present, who would it be and why?
Simon and Garfunkel so we could mess up Garfunkel's hair.
5. If you were a furry, what animal would you be? Why that animal?
A honey badger - cos they're mad as monkey sh*t and rip the head off cobras.
6. Why should people listen to your band?
Cos we are genuinely original, don't sound like anything else going around just now, always looking to diversify our sound and we can shake your ass or blow your teeth out.
7. If you were chosen to be in Guitar Hero/Rock Band, what song would you want in the game? How hard do you think it would be to five-star on expert?
We've a song called 'Awesome! No Way! which has a fantastic, meaty riff and would bring satisfaction to all. It's probably not the hardest song in the world, but that's irrelevant considering the joy it will bring to all who play her!
8. If you won a Grammy, who would you thank?
Coolio, Shaggy and Jazzy Jeff
9. If you could change something about the music industry, what would it be?
i would go back in time and cut out all the middlemen who've got rich off other people's hard work. It seems the internet is doing that these days, but sadly nobody's getting paid! Oh and kill any music exec with a pony tail - unacceptable!!
10. Memorable tour experience?
We were touring in Devon (South West England) and on a day off sat and got drunk on a remote beach, until we realized the tide was coming in and we almost drowned. Also on the first night of the tour in Plymouth, after traveling around 700 miles from Aberdeen in Scotland, we played to one person...ace.
11. What does AP.net mean to you?
It's an oasis of craziness in an otherwise boring world.
12. What is your favorite song to play?
We have a new song called "Inverted Blouse" which has a fantastic chorus and a nice build-up outro which is pretty frenetic.
13. What is your vacation spot of choice?
Switzerland's an amazing country. I'd love to go back there - live there even! But they don't let anyone in if they can help it, and who could blame them? We'd only f*ck it up
14. What music reminds you of your childhood?
Green Day - 1,039 Smoothed Out Slappy Hours. I used to listen to that record every day. And Everclear Sparkle and Fade. I think I still know every lyric to that album.
15. If you could have any super power, what would it be? Why?
It has to be flying. I can't understand why anyone would have anything else. You'd have to use it discreetly though. It's not like the movies where people with super powers are revered and celebrated. They'd lock you in a cage and stick syringes up your ass. I suppose X-ray vision would be pretty cool, but you'd never get anything done. And how do they define X-ray vision anyway? If you looked at a hot chick, you wouldn't see her underwear - you'd see her skeleton!! hmmm...sexy.
16. Do you feel that your band has "made it"?
Depends how you define "it" I suppose. We've released an E.P. and three singles on a local label and sold hundreds of copies. Played gigs to thousands of people and contributed a unique body of music to the world. If you'd told me we'd do all that before we started, I'd have been ecstatic.
If by 'made it' you mean worldwide success, sold out tours, and loads of cash, then no, we've not made it, and we never will. But we won't stop gigging 'til someone makes us. 'Cos we're brilliant.
17. What is something that most fans don't know about you?
We first gigged under the moniker 'Five Lifelike Fashions'. Worst name ever - it lasted only one gig. It makes Captain FACE sound good.
18. What's your favorite holiday?
I saw a monkey fall out of a tree in Palenque, Mexico. All the other monkeys in the tree pointed and laughed at him. So that was probably my best ever holiday,so I'll say Palenque.
Editor note: In the UK vacations are called "holidays"
19. What do you like to do in your spare time?
Make small scale models of Victorian water-treatment plants out of lollipop sticks.
20. What kind of hidden talents do you have?
I can recite large sections of Wayne's World 2 almost word-perfect! Like Del - "I was in a place like this. Sri Lanka! Formerly Sirlone. We were trying to get 1,000 brown m&ms to fill a brandy glass or ozzy wouldn't go onstage that night. Suddenly Jeff Beck pops his head round the corner and mentions there's a small sweetshop on the edge of town. So we go...and...it's closed. So here's me, Jeff Beck and Keith Moon breaking into this little sweetshop, right? Only thing is instead of a guard dog, they've got this ruddy big bengal tiger!! I managed to take the tiger out with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son...that was a different story altogether...I had to beat them to death with there own shoes. Nasty business really. Still, we got the sweets and ozzy went onstage and did a great show!"