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Album Review
A Rocket To The Moon - On Your Side Album Cover

A Rocket To The Moon - On Your Side

Reviewed by
2.1
A Rocket To The MoonOn Your Side
Record Label: Fueled By Ramen / Decaydance
Release Date: October 13, 2009
This review was written by an AP.net staff member.
The monotony overwhelms. A chorus flies by and I barely look up from my fourth plate of nachos. Some people drink when they’re upset – and even worse, some people write pop songs – but I just eat. Plate after plate after plate of squirrel soup, peanut casserole or pizza. Never has an album begat so many munchies. Every time I feel full or sick to my stomach, another bland “I Miss You REAL BAD” mantra flies by and I must once again stuff my face with that which makes me fat and happy. It might seem like a lazy mechanism, but so is A Rocket To The Moon's music. There’s no soul, no urgency and definitely no sustainability. I’d be offended that On Your Side existed if it didn’t mean so much pepperoni pizza.

Remembering this album is like me recounting a favorite sexual experience. I’ll look away, mumble something about unkempt body hair, and hope you change the subject. However, big electric guitars do occasionally replace Midwest-via-LA wooden ones. This attempt at twang only makes the shortcomings more obvious. Nick Santino’s voice might sound like the one on this record, but for his sake I hope the high-pitched snarl was just a result of the producer falling asleep on some of those doohickey buttons that make Fueled By Ramen records post-2005. The faux-strength of drum machined-to-death “Life of the Party” and the, ugh, “ballad” “Baby Blue Eyes” sound so contrived that I can’t believe this isn’t just an elaborate joke on yours truly; which is to say, someone with stunning good looks and a working brain.

For those Forever The Sickest Kids half-fans who hate the band because they are just a tad too smart, A Rocket To The Moon will fill your idiotic black hole with enough substance to get you through whichever Vonnegut book you’re pretending to understand. And if The Maine’s music is a turn off because they are popular and, you know, god forbid!, songs like “Give A Damn” will hit you perfectly in the sense that nobody else could even pretend to find merit in them. “She likes the taste of Captain Morgan / Cigarettes, oh she adores them / She can get a little crazy sometimes / Tight shirts and mini skirts / Her family is rich so she’ll never work / She’s always on my mind,” are real lyrics, from a (presumably) real band. But if this band isn’t real, if they are part of some alien-engineered apocalyptic plan, I won’t be all that surprised. So, I guess, grab another bag of Cheetos and wait for the end to come. Let’s hope it’s sooner than later.


Recommended If You Like: Forever The Sickest Kids, The Maine, i am a martyr only because of my bad decision making, Every Avenue (probably), so if that doesn't make me a martyr and just an idiot - so be it.


I have sorry eyeswww.myspace.com/arockettothemoon
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 191
01:40 PM on 10/22/09
#2
Joe DeAndrea
Radiosurgery
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01:43 PM on 10/22/09
#3
Jeremy Aaron
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Harsh. I'm glad you posted this today, because I was going to attempt to write something for this tomorrow, and it wouldn't have been nearly this good.
02:08 PM on 10/22/09
#4
Blake Solomon
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Harsh. I'm glad you posted this today, because I was going to attempt to write something for this tomorrow, and it wouldn't have been nearly this good.
i lost a whole day listening to this album and i want it back.
02:36 PM on 10/22/09
#5
xapplexpiex
&.&
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Haha nice (and funny) review. IMO FTSK is an okay band, but I just listened to one of ARTTM's MySpace songs, and their lyrics aren't too great. That 1 is well deserved.
03:00 PM on 10/22/09
#6
Chris Fallon
Boom.
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Yeah, no thanks.
05:24 PM on 10/22/09
#7
cereal4life
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More like A Rocket to the Poop.

Twas an entertaining read, Blake!
05:37 PM on 10/22/09
#8
MFSchris
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I thought his voice sounded good on the album, and yes, Give a Damn totally sucks. But i must say i enjoy the rest of the album, it's feel good pop. of course i also like the maine and taylor swift, so i'm not claiming to have any kind of cred.
06:34 PM on 10/22/09
#9
Young Machetes
Wasteland Explorer
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So far Cartel, Paramore, and Mayday Parade have been my favorite pop releases.
06:41 PM on 10/22/09
andthetruthwill
You keep company with wolves.
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Underwhelming at first, but getting better with each successive listen. It's different than the ep, lighter. But it is so awesome to hear Justin in the mix with Nick. It's like little flutters of Brighten here and there. The record is growing to be something I enjoy quite a bit.
06:50 PM on 10/22/09
kianacarly
I'm living it, leaving it to change
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I nearly downloaded the leak by accident, but canceled it when I saw that it was A Rocket To The Moon. Now I'm thankful for that.
07:07 PM on 10/22/09
f00te
Tell it like a comeback story
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there are a few good tracks but the rest is crap
i enjoyed their EP and seeing them live at warped tho
07:54 PM on 10/22/09
Gregory Robson
Under Rug Swept
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Dare I say, this stuff makes me want to blast Air Supply so hard. I'm not sure I was supposed to admit that. Whoops.
09:21 PM on 10/22/09
NorthstarPark
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I don't see how people can like this band and bash The Maine. They are the same fucking band!
09:23 PM on 10/22/09
aradiantsunrise
i get what i want
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Definitely not interested in listening to this anytime soon now.

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