i went from 149 lbs to 110 lbs (at 5'5") and i don't know how to stop because each time i reach a goal weight, i can't see any difference in my body and so i change the number to a lower one. most days i have no appetite and will eat around 400 - 600 calories. my fingers are constantly blue and i have lanugo and sometimes i'm so dizzy i can't stand. i'm only a pound or two underweight, so i don't really feel i'm thin or sick enough to call this an "eating disorder" but i want to recover and do this the healthy way. has anyone in here had a similar experience and recovered on their own?
TL; DR. I second body dysmorphic disorder. You don't have to be underweight or fainting everywhere to have an eating disorder. It's not easy. One of the hardest parts is eating normal meals again. Just eating a sandwich can feel like you just pigged out during a Thanksgiving dinner, and the overwhelming feeling of wanting to puke from just eating small things is strong. You sort of have to work your way back up to eating regularly and ignore that awful and sick feeling. It takes a lot of self control and it's hard but it's so worth it to power through.
Another thing is to eat healthy and exercise, but don't overdo it. Try to plan your meals for the week with all the nutrients you need in mind, not just caloric and fat content. There are websites where you can just input your stats and they will suggest meal plans and recipes based on how many calories you need a day, and any dietary restrictions. Look online for fun and healthy recipes. I find that taking health classes and learning about proper nutrition online really helped my outlook on food. That research helps you to learn what your body needs and why, and they generally promote eating healthy in a positive way, as opposed to harmful pro-ana views.
It's kind of a psychological thing you have to overcome though. Everybody is different, but I find that as long as I'm exercising regularly (I do Jillian Micheal's 30 Day Shred just to maintain my weight and be toned, not to lose) and eating pretty healthily, I pretty much just say "f you" to my reflection if I'm looking off to me that day. You just have to tell yourself that health is the priority, not pounds, and if you know you're living healthily, then it's most likely in your head. Also, scales are evil. I don't even keep one in the house. I refuse to weigh myself because it's incredibly triggering, so consider that too. Health > a certain number on the scale.
Sorry for the tl;dr, but I hope you get better. I urge you to at least seek counseling because those negative thoughts may eventually fade, but in my experience they never go away completely. Good luck, bb. It takes time, but you'll get there.