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Album Review
BrokeNcyde - Will Never Die Album Cover

BrokeNcyde - Will Never Die

Reviewed by
2.1
BrokeNcydeWill Never Die
Release Date: Novermber 9th, 2010
Record Label: Break Silence Recordings/Suburban Noize
The boys in BrokeNcyde are the most hardcore, crunk guys ever. I mean, I’m surprised they even find time to make music with all the alcohol, drugs and sex that they take part in. These crunk dudes know where all da house parties are, they can teach people how to scream (kinda) and drink so much Grey Goose Vodka that it must be flowing through their veins by now. Seriously, these crunkcore musicians from Albuquerque, NM might have legitimately thought of every sexual and anatomical innuendo that exists to use in their songs. Will Never Die is BNC’s sophomore effort, slapping listeners across the face with their “hardcore” brand of crunkcore (or for people who don’t speak emo white kid slang, a genre which consists of Screamo and Rap being bitch-slapped together.)

Will Never Die decided to scrap the idea of a strong opening for a much more “awesome!” intro (“Epic Intro”), which begins the album by informing the listeners that this album will completely ruin good music. Well, at least they’re honest. Listeners are then immediately thrown into the throngs of “Dis Iz A Rager Dude”, which is a really rad song! I mean, so what if the low screams are almost as nauseating as the high ones, and so what if they steal lines from 3Oh!3 (I’m really not sure why), it’d still be amazing if you were so hammered you were half deaf! I mean, that’s what the song is about right? Cause lines like “Lets go! Get drunk, let me show you the ropes, we getting’ drunk at the club but you already know!” are definitely saying that that, which must mean its awesome and crunk.

The super hardcore partying doesn’t end there, because if it did then what would Mikl, Se7en, Phat J, and Antz have to write songs about? Don’t worry if you don’t really know how to be “hard”, the guys in BrokeNcyde are always happy to teach you how to “Always Go Hard” and “Make the chickens’ heads drop to da club floor”. I warn you though, if your planning to proceed with this super-hard crunkfest, then you better “Let your momma know we shake shake shake shake shake” (“Shake”).

The dudes in BrokeNcyde are also really easy to please, and “could play with titties all day” and they are even content with drinking straight and not using a chaser (“Whatcha Want”)! Will Never Die is a pretty large album, with several “sick!” skits that serve as interludes between the fifteen songs. BrokeNcyde goes on to teach us how to scream on their next two tracks…or maybe they just teach us how to projectile vomit after the binge drinking at the crazy ragers that envelope the first few songs (“T.M.H.T.S. Lesson 1”, “Teach Me How To Scream”). I mean, after those refreshing lessons, who really wants to listen to mainstream music and learn how to Dougie?

The entire time that I listened to Will Never Die, I kept on wondering why they made the coughing up internal organs screams sound worse with bad recordings that made them sound like they were still a garage band (maybe a street corner, anybody want to give us drugs band?) but then I realized its because they blow so much money on all sorts of weed, like the “Bob Marley Kush,” that they can’t afford to get good recording software. They blaze all the time, cause its so super crunk, and sometimes, they even do it with Daddy X of The Kottonmouth Kings(“High Timez ft Daddy X)! The rest of the album continues on a very similar path as the tracks that came before it, with a few unique topics, like “A song to dedicate to your gurl”, although if you do, she’ll probably break with you…after she vomits (“My Gurl)”. “Kama Sutra” copies lines from earlier tracks, like “Whatcha Want” and continues the masterful lyricism with lines like “Need a freak bitch, with a some nice tits, flick her titty like a muthafuckin’ light switch.”

We get a kindergarten level lesson on how to count shots on “Goose Gogglez.” The final tracks are really some downers, because I thought listening to this band made me super crunk and shit, but apparently they have to remind me that “U Ain’t Crunk” and proceeds to end with some laid back tracks like the ghetto tune “Ride Slow” and the break-up song “Sunshine” that I’m pretty sure is opened by a transvestite.

I spent some extensive time with BrokeNcyde’s sophomore effort Will Never Die and realized a few things. Like all the members have a very important parts in the band, like Antz, who plays…the fog machine. And does the lighting. And yeah, he’s an official member. Will Never Die is an album that really makes me sad for our beloved genre of none-mainstream music. For years, several genres of metal, punk, and indie have always been there to give us actually good music, while all the cookie-cutter kids with no souls were out jamming to pathetic pop songs and horrible rap tunes. And then, bands like this come along, so intent on destroying music that once actually meant something. BrokeNcyde, Millionaires, 3Oh3!, Breath Carolina, Blood On The Dance Floor, Dot Dot Curve, Watchout! There’s Ghosts; they all might have different names, but slowly each one of them is killing music. BrokeNcyde gets up and sings about things that no one but mainstream kids and fourteen year old girls who think its crunk care about. I mean, its funny how they can write fifteen songs about “gettin’ some” when almost their entire fan base is made up of underage scene kids with facial piercings.

Although the guys in BrokeNcyde have no right to call themselves musicians, there is one thing I have to commend them for. I don’t know any other band that can undergo so much hate, and still stand up to produce another album. That takes guts to know that everyone hates your music, and still put it out there to fulfill your fan base that’s going to grow out of your music in a few years. Don’t get me wrong, this album is still terrible, and should be swept off store shelves by guys in biohazard suits, so that no one has to be polluted by BNC’s terrible brand of Screamo and Rap, but there is that small shred of light. Will Never Die makes a bold statement about the band, and tells us that no matter how much fire they undergo, they will still succeed. I’m a person that prefers actually testing facts however, so if you’ll excuse me folks, cause I have a BrokeNcyde album to burn. Now where’d I put my lighter?
Tracks1.Epic Intro
2.Dis Iz A Rager Dude
3.Always Go Hard
4.Shake!
5. Whatcha Want
6. T.M.H.T.S. Lesson 1(Skit)
7. Teach Me How To Scream
8. Money Hungry Hoe
9. High Timez (Feat. Daddy X of Kottonmouth Kings)
10.Where We @? (Skit)
11. Da House Party
12. My Gurl
13. Kama Sutra
14. Ugly Bitch With A Mustache (Skit)
15. Goose Gogglez
16. U Ain’t Crunk
17. Ride Slow
18. Sunshine
This review is a user submitted review from ChristianFuller. You can see all of ChristianFuller's submitted reviews here.
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 30
02:41 PM on 04/03/11
#2
Kav
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sigh
02:47 PM on 04/03/11
#3
Spencer Control
Yeah I still burn from time to time
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Quote:
Make the chickens’ heads drop to da club floor.

Should sum up the album. You must have gone into no-man's-land to review this.
02:49 PM on 04/03/11
#4
troubledbyinsects
~
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why would anyone review this
02:59 PM on 04/03/11
#5
Sean Rizzo
Can you see evidence of perfection?
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Why would you CHOOSE to review this?! C'mon, man. I was hoping that wretched thing would stay on Linda's list for eternity.
02:59 PM on 04/03/11
#6
Jennurna Gray
Happy P and the Goblet of Giggles
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I take it this ChistianFuller fellow is dead now?
04:39 PM on 04/03/11
#7
KingOfSpain
Goon Squad for Life
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everyone knows this is going to be bad, so why waste your time reviewing it?
06:46 PM on 04/03/11
#8
Spartan789013
I should be proper for a change
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Jeez relax everyone, we are all at a general consensus that a majority of people hate this album/band/genre. No need to attack the reviewer for putting in the time and effort to write it.

On that note, I gotta say that, while the band is pretty awful, the last paragraph of this review carries a lot of truth. As a band who is constantly questioned about how much people hate their music and such, it takes a lot of balls to continue to go out there and do what they do. No one likes being harassed for doing what they love, and these guys have an army of haters who bash them on a daily basis. You can see it in their faces in interviews, they looks scared and nervous in most of them. I'd hate to be in their shoes for all of that.

I, personally, wouldn't qualify them as musicians. I don't like the music they make. They are terrible role models for the demographic of their fan base. I can say I learned one thing: for the amount of hate they garnish, they still try to make music. Under enough hate from even one person, someone can crumble under that kind of tension. And, like I say again and again, they have an army of haters and still keep playing. That is something I can respect.
06:46 PM on 04/03/11
#9
Spartan789013
I should be proper for a change
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I take it this ChistianFuller fellow is dead now?
Official change went through! I dig it. I think it'll look better bold.
07:01 PM on 04/03/11
Jennurna Gray
Happy P and the Goblet of Giggles
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Official change went through! I dig it. I think it'll look better bold.
Thanks! You're actually the second person to say that. I can't wait.
/way too concerned with PC
08:14 PM on 04/03/11
xHoodieWeather
I Just Want To Sell Out My Funeral
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This guy is trolling hard.
03:56 AM on 04/04/11
mikeandike1993
im asian!!!!!!!
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^LOL at all the haters
i personally dont mind some of BrokeNcyde's songs, i got both albums downloaded and listen to a few songs on occasion. the lyrics are retarded, i know, idgaf, they dont sound that bad but i am i guess a scene kid and this is what we listen to. how come the reviewer doesnt review a BOTDF album like "Epic" lol. i would love to see what he says about them (i dont mind listening to them either lol)
07:17 PM on 04/04/11
MBIIdollaBill
die young and save yourself
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These guys should go on tour with rebecca black. wud be sickkkk
07:18 PM on 04/04/11
MBIIdollaBill
die young and save yourself
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^LOL at all the haters
i personally dont mind some of BrokeNcyde's songs, i got both albums downloaded and listen to a few songs on occasion. the lyrics are retarded, i know, idgaf, they dont sound that bad but i am i guess a scene kid and this is what we listen to. how come the reviewer doesnt review a BOTDF album like "Epic" lol. i would love to see what he says about them (i dont mind listening to them either lol)
no, scene kids listen to not shitty music like thursday and glassjaw. even the mainstream cookie cutter kids who listen katy perry and akon have enough standards to not touch this brokencyde shit. i dont know who this band is trying to appeal too, but they are failing fantastically on all fronts
11:10 PM on 04/04/11
drevans18
BLERG
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While I appreciate the humor and irony in this, I still think that you wrote WAY too much. I could have done without the middle... yeah, the entire middle.

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