Oliver Sykes was arrested last night because he's a pathetic little boy who can't deal with rejection.
We were invited to party on the tour bus and they seemed pleasant enough initially. But, when Victoria declined his advances, he kicked off, got his chipolata-sized penis out and pissed on her. We willingly left the bus. Once off the bus, some cunt proceeded to throw a jagermeister bottle in Vic's face, resulting in this...
(PIC OF VIC'S BLOOD DRENCHED FACE)
Because none of us saw which one of them actually threw the bottle, the only thing they could arrest anyone on was the pissing thing, so Oliver was lead off to the police station in handcuffs, whilst the lardy drummer had a little tantrum about the possibility of not being able to make their next tour date (Swindon... this evening... if they're lucky) and called me a "dyke" when I laughed in his face, Victoria went off to the QMC to have her forehead sewn up, whilst Lew, Warner, Paul and I spent several loooong laborious hours down at the police station giving statements. "White male... skinny... tattoos on his neck and knuckles... silly floppy hair... wearing girl's jeans... more foundation on than me".
The police reckon they have enough to charge him with and that he'll probably be getting out on bail later on today. If and when it comes to court, whether they're playing Sheffield or fucking America, he will HAVE to come back to Nottingham.
They won't be paid for that gig and they won't be allowed to return to play Rock City again.
There was a Kerrang journalist on the bus, who was utterly disgusted with their brattish behavior and a bloke from their label, who didn't seem to like being affiliated with drama. Perhaps they'll get dropped.
So there you have it, proof that the golden boy of Kerrang is no more than a brat who throws his toys out of the pram when he can't get some poon.
THE STATEMENT FROM THE BAND
"Bring Me The Horizon have stated that after the court case yesterday relating Oliver Sykes and the incidence that went on in there tour bus in Nottingham, that Oliver Sykes has been charged.
check out myspace.com/bmth for the full story."