04:17 PM on 10/07/11
I first heard blink-182 when I was about seven or eight. My big brother (he was eighteen at the time) had a fantastic music taste. He literally idolized them: they were the pinnacle reason that he wanted to be a musician. When he moved in with us for a year after high school, he bought a guitar and taught himself how to play. I remember hearing All The Small Things on repeat from his room as he played along clumsily. His dedication for music and learning to play was evident as he practiced for hours and hours, singing along with all his heart. I admired him so much.
My brother is the reason I fell in love with the concept of being in a band and want to do music as well, and I can't thank Blink enough for inspiring him to play and buy me my first guitar and always tell me I could make it if I tried hard enough, even after he gave up on the dream himself.
My Chemical Romance in itself is a different story. After my brother moved back to New York and decided to abandon his dream, he gave me the tools to find my own bands and fall in love with them as he had.
When I was entered middle school, I fell into a depression that music was no longer shaking me out of, and I was scared and alone. I was so hopeless that I'd considered suicide more than once, and I was only twelve, and I continued to suffer in silence.
One night, in April of 2005, I was at my childhood best friend's house, and that night I was so frightfully sad I told myself I couldn't live like that anymore. I was planning on taking my life when I got back home. She had no idea. Instead, she told me to sit with her at her computer and she had something to show me... and put on Helena. It was the first time something had touched my heart the way that song and video did. I can't even describe it. When it was over, I started to cry and never felt more grateful for something like that to exist.