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07:19 PM on 03/27/12 
#1
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nickmoebus
Regular Member
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Texas
Male - 23 Years Old
(first poem I ever wrote)

Walk into the Vague
The boredom of this stagnant place
Has treasured nothing more
I hope to reach an open space
With hopes of new adore

A slow paced trudge
Is all I need
New loss of grudge
Yields fantasy

in my world of self-design
I can step on air
To Breach the clouds and mesmerize
My never ending stare

I pass a certain plane of white
Familiar as the day
And seeing this in better light
Creates a will to stay

But a surge from underneath
Pushes me afar
Continue on the steps beneath
To lurk beyond the stars

Rise until the darkness ends
This is my self-request
Iíve Lost the start of my ascend
But looking back means rest

The forward map is shown
A blackened desolate
And even though alone
My heart has surely fit

Although I feel the sound
Of perfectionís pretty name
I must get back to ground
To continue life the same

now as my last resort
I panic and lie prone
Lost within a starry fort
And Distance now unknown

My senses try to feel
A recollecting sign
Of my home concealed
And how to realign

But before I streak the sky
I realize a truth
That in this space I fly
Iíve been given youth

So Instead of marching back
To Where I can guess the stage
Iíll retake my track
And walk into the vague.
12:39 AM on 03/29/12 
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herpderpharvey
Pop Punk Princess
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This is really good!
05:46 AM on 03/29/12 
#3
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nickmoebus
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Male - 23 Years Old

Thank you very much! I wrote it after thinking how amazing it'd be to be able to walk out into space haha
11:28 PM on 03/29/12 
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Eleanor41
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Female - 30 Years Old
Lovely!
03:59 PM on 04/04/12 
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Chance
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Male - 17 Years Old
That was really well done!
05:32 AM on 07/12/12 
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nickmoebus
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Male - 23 Years Old
Thank you :)
03:54 AM on 07/14/12 
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Kahn
Dr. Strangelove in the Online Sense
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Athens, Georgia
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It's good, just work on that last verse a bit.
06:51 AM on 07/14/12 
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nickmoebus
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Male - 23 Years Old
It's good, just work on that last verse a bit.

What flaw do you find with it?
01:45 PM on 08/17/12 
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JackyKerouacy<3
Darth Ziggy DeLarge
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Female - 18 Years Old
I liked it, very trippy haha. Sometimes it feels a little aimless but I suppose that's what a walk in space would be like haha. Keep up the good work.
02:06 PM on 08/17/12 
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nickmoebus
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Male - 23 Years Old
I liked it, very trippy haha. Sometimes it feels a little aimless but I suppose that's what a walk in space would be like haha. Keep up the good work.

Thank you vert much for the feedback. And actually, aimless is kinda the adjective I was thinking of. Haha
02:12 PM on 08/17/12 
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JackyKerouacy<3
Darth Ziggy DeLarge
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Thank you vert much for the feedback. And actually, aimless is kinda the adjective I was thinking of. Haha

hahaI think an aimless walk through space sounds just right and kind of awesome XD and sure anytime
02:18 PM on 08/17/12 
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nickmoebus
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Texas
Male - 23 Years Old
hahaI think an aimless walk through space sounds just right and kind of awesome XD and sure anytime

I agree. That's something I've always thought of doing haha
02:28 PM on 08/17/12 
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JackyKerouacy<3
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I agree. That's something I've always thought of doing haha

Ah, if only. You could be an astronaut (sp?) but then there is the whole problem of depleting bone mass and space food haha
02:35 PM on 08/17/12 
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nickmoebus
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Ah, if only. You could be an astronaut (sp?) but then there is the whole problem of depleting bone mass and space food haha

Haha not only that, but being in space would be incredible lonely too I'd imagine
02:38 PM on 08/17/12 
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JackyKerouacy<3
Darth Ziggy DeLarge
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Well, there's the other astronauts and possibly the Martian from Justic League haha so it ain't so bad



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