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ABSOLUTExclusive: From The Offices of Dr. Keith...

Posted by: Drew Beringer (05/14/12)
I'm really excited about this new feature, you guys. We've always wanted to have an advice column where our users could submit questions asking for advice on any and all things. Why doesn't she love me? Why does it burn when I pee? Why is Howard The Duck the greatest movie ever? Some of these questions can be overwhelming, so we didn't want to tab just any Joe Schmo to be our advice guy. So that's why we asked the brilliant Keith Buckley to be that guy. That's right, the Every Time I Die front man will be giving out the answers to life weekly on AbsolutePunk. Today, we have an introductory message from Keith himself and next week he'll start answering your questions, so if you want advice from Keith, email your question/issue/etc to him here.
    
 
Displaying posts 1 - 15 of 45
08:23 AM on 05/14/12
#2
Drew Beringer
Senior Editor - @drewberinger - Locked Groove
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From The Offices of Dr. Keith BuckleyHello internetters, my name is keith buckley and absolutepunk has asked me to become a regular contributing writer to their website. I agreed, but with the caveat that I am firstly allowed to set something straight- I fucking hate anything you love. Even if I haven’t heard it or seen it or tasted it , chances are I will say it “blows”. And if you don’t like it, theres an even stronger chance I’ll tell you I love it and make myself love it despite my bodys natural inclination to reject it. I will do this simply to spite you. For this reason alone, I am certified to not only give you my opinion, but tell you what you should do in order to be more aligned with my narrow, shitty, uninformed misgivings about the world at large. Now that that’s out of the way and we are both at the same foothold concerning my lack of class and my pathetically overwhelming malaise, it is my pleasure to announce that I will be in charge of the new “Advice” section of the website. Again, this is where I offer advice, not answer questions about the Melissa Cross DVD I was in 10 years ago (but for the record, yes she is wonderful and no I do not do warm ups). Submit any concern to me directly and I will answer them without any form of credential indicating me knowledgeable of anything whatsoever. I will be as honest as possible (its not possible) and fair when addressing your concerns and while I’d love to be able to say that I will respond to each and every one, the fact is, the things I do get old real quickly if I’m around too much. Scarcity is key here. I look forward to laughing at your problems as I read them and then feigning concern in a public forum. It’s an honor. Or whatever. Who cares.

Love Always,

Keith Buckley
08:32 AM on 05/14/12
#3
Spencer Control
Yeah I still burn from time to time
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Keith, will you make hot, dirty, swagger love to me?
08:38 AM on 05/14/12
#4
Alex DiVincenzo
www.alexislegend.com
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08:40 AM on 05/14/12
#5
betweenvega
one two three fo fiffffffffffffffff
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Where are his responses going to be posted?
08:41 AM on 05/14/12
#6
truthbetoldxx
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That's fucking awesome, this is a great idea
08:42 AM on 05/14/12
#7
MJSchmidt
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I am really excited about this. Kind of reminds me of when Keith did movie reviews and other things with Alt Press. I miss that.
08:42 AM on 05/14/12
#8
Reece Wagner
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So basically the same thing he already did for AltPress for years? The Howard the Duck thing has been done already, if that helps.
08:50 AM on 05/14/12
#9
rollerman4221
Woof!
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you should of just directed him to PL, have him reply to shit, and post it.

but yea this looks interesting
08:57 AM on 05/14/12
Drew Beringer
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So basically the same thing he already did for AltPress for years? The Howard the Duck thing has been done already, if that helps.
not really. that was more a movie review type of thing and then sometimes he would answer questions about movies, it wasn't an advice column per se. and yes, the Howard the Duck thing in the original post is a reference to that.
08:58 AM on 05/14/12
Drew Beringer
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you should of just directed him to PL, have him reply to shit, and post it.

but yea this looks interesting
I'm gonna make a thread later today in that forum asking for them to send questions to the email account or I'll just lift questions from that thread and send them along to Keith.
08:58 AM on 05/14/12
Drew Beringer
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Where are his responses going to be posted?
hopefully early next week, we are hoping for this to be a weekly thing.
09:09 AM on 05/14/12
dicktony
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There are awesome ideas, and there this is this.

Keith, I want to party with you. Wait, sorry. I want to party with you?
09:10 AM on 05/14/12
mattjkhaywood
tanktopsounds
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This is a very good idea.
09:15 AM on 05/14/12
11:11
Soft sound
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Holy fuck, you could not have picked someone better for this.
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