[mikeXXXnj]

So I dated this girl for almost 4 years. I thought I was going to eventually marry her. Then one day things just started to change and went south. It just seemed like a landslide, all at once it just went downhill and there was no way I could stop it. We broke up, in a very ugly manner and now we no longer speak. at all. Last summer I was informed by a mutual friend that she was getting married to a dude she'd been dating for a year.

Now I'm in a relationship now with someone I'm very, very happy. I really couldn't ask for me, but I would be lying if I said that her getting married didn't bum me out in some weird way. Like there was always still a flicker of hope that we might get back together or something.
Am I some sort of nut or is this normal?

[sonicfury]

Originally Posted by mikeXXXnj

So I dated this girl for almost 4 years. I thought I was going to eventually marry her. Then one day things just started to change and went south. It just seemed like a landslide, all at once it just went downhill and there was no way I could stop it. We broke up, in a very ugly manner and now we no longer speak. at all. Last summer I was informed by a mutual friend that she was getting married to a dude she'd been dating for a year.

Now I'm in a relationship now with someone I'm very, very happy. I really couldn't ask for me, but I would be lying if I said that her getting married didn't bum me out in some weird way. Like there was always still a flicker of hope that we might get back together or something.
Am I some sort of nut or is this normal?

Doesn't sound weird it just means you never got closure in the last relationship (to use a hackneyed term). Short of seeing this other girl and trying to gain some of that closure which I assume isn't an option then all you can really do is forget about it for now and in time it won't be an issue any more. Don't let it affect your current relationship as that would surely be a far bigger regret.

[iAMhollyood315]

things happen for a reason, I tell myself that all the time. If your happy now then be happy. I know exactly how you can feel a little bummed because I was in a similar type of situation. But if you guys did get back together you know from past experience the marriage could go south like it did before. And i think its a little bit of jealously factor in there that you wanted to marry her and it didn't work out for you but it did for the other guy. Even if your happy now i think its natural that feel that bit of jealousy.

[2's&3's]

yes, it's normal.

[LostAllways]

Originally Posted by mikeXXXnj

but I would be lying if I said that her getting married didn't bum me out in some weird way. Like there was always still a flicker of hope that we might get back together or something.

Been in a very similar situation. I got close enough and trusted my new gf enough that I was able to voice my lingering feelings for my ex to her, and it sort of just dealt with itself just by being open with it and talking about. Helped me get over her and helped our relationship.

[HarryPotter]

You have a girlfriend, get over your previous one. It just seems as if you want to get married. If you had married her you guys would be getting a divorce, you should pick your girlfriend(s) carefully before you start wanting to marry them.

[TheRealJohnOC]

Shit happens man. As a human, we all hate to see our EXs be happy. It's human nature. Also getting married only a year into knowing someone sounds like it won't work out. You went out for 4 years, she's always going to be in your head no matter who you're dating. You just have to black most of the good memories out with the bad ones and tell yourself that you're happy with the girl you're dating now.

[RyanPm40]

Originally Posted by HarryPotter

You have a girlfriend, get over your previous one. It just seems as if you want to get married. If you had married her you guys would be getting a divorce, you should pick your girlfriend(s) carefully before you start wanting to marry them.

While I think the feelings you have are normal (when we get hurt, it sticks with us for awhile. bad experiences leave scars), I also agree with HarryPotter up here. It's over with her, you're gonna have to get over it. Appreciate your current girlfriend, and if she's a great girlfriend after a good amount of time, then feel free to ask her to marry you :p, but make sure you know her 100% first. No need to rush into things and end up with a divorce and losing half your shit.

[muttley]

That other dude really sealed the deal, huh?

[mutinie]

Definitely normal, and I've gone through the exact same thing. Sometimes we remember things to be better than they actually were.

[TenSpeed]

that seems normal. just try not to worry about it.

[mikeXXXnj]

Originally Posted by mutinie

Definitely normal, and I've gone through the exact same thing. Sometimes we remember things to be better than they actually were.

that's what I think. I don't things were all that great with her looking back on it.

[Alex DiVincenzo]

Originally Posted by mutinie

Definitely normal, and I've gone through the exact same thing. Sometimes we remember things to be better than they actually were.

Absolutely this.

[zwdavis4]

Originally Posted by mikeXXXnj

but I would be lying if I said that her getting married didn't bum me out in some weird way. Like there was always still a flicker of hope that we might get back together or something.

I think I have 3 ex girlfriends that have gotten married since we broke up. I'm happy for all of them but i feel the same way you do about all of them. It's like when they tie the knot that little chance is pretty much over and it's a weird feeling. Don't beat yourself up over it.

[allthewaysaid]

First love is always the hardest to get over.